Cole Parker Posted December 10, 2016 Report Share Posted December 10, 2016 We have several fine poets among us here, and I'd like to see some seasonal verses filling this space. In the hopes of jump-starting their creative processes, I'll submit a poem. My purpose here is to show everyone how easy it would be to write something much better that this, and make them feel guilty if they don't. So, here goes. “Dad, here’s my list; Christmas draws near. It shows what presents I’d treasure this year. Things I want most are up on the top The first one’s enough if you don’t want to shop.” “Give it here, boy, and I’ll read it right now. My money’s quite short, and I’m not a cash cow.” “Hmmmmmm.” “OK, I’ve read it, and this is not good Please pay attention, and heed if you would.” “I’ve read the first entry, here’s what you chose— Now listen up, you, here’s how it goes: ‘All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.’ Do you see my problem, son? See my beef?” “The trouble, my boy, is not that you stammer The trouble instead is your execrable grammar. One must match one’s nouns with his verbs, So reading his list neither irks nor disturbs.” “If ‘two teeth’ should be at the top of your list Then ‘is’ should be ‘are’ so the list’s not dismissed. And Santa, I’ve heard, is quite the fine linguist And his sense of propriety is aptly distinguished.” “So write this again if you hope for some presents From Santa or anyone—even your parents.” Link to comment
Merkin Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 There is NO WAY this verse sprang fully-formed from Cole’s brow; I’m positive that a search under his desk would reveal dozens of crumpled pages of early drafts featuring crossed-out rhymes, misspelled words, and discarded lines. ‘Execrable’? ‘Propriety’?? Come ON. I can’t even find those words in my dictionary, much less spell them. No, I think Cole has been working on this little ditty since Thanksgiving, maybe even since Memorial Day. So this “challenge” he is throwing down is suspect, a set-up he and The Dude have cooked up to get us off our duffs and putting pen to paper. Sorta like our sixth grade English teachers used to dump on us on our way out of the classroom door, last class before Christmas vacation. Thanks a lot, Cole. Just don’t expect results overnight. Maybe by Christmas Eve I might find an old Christmas carol with lyrics I can crib. Ho, ho, ho. Link to comment
Cole Parker Posted December 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 Nope. Sorry to disappoint. It probably took me a half hour to write that. Maybe 45 minutes. I wasn't timing it. And it was originally meant to be a limerick; it grew legs. That's what I love about the creative process. You start something and never know where and when inspiration will strike and what you'll finish up with. I will admit that this poem came out much better than I expected it to. I didn't really think I'd end up with anything I could post. But I'm serious in saying there are many here, including you, James, who can do much better and we'd all enjoy witnessing it. Hold forth! C Link to comment
Pedro Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 I made a journey today along a boring motorway when I got home i wrote down this pome that I'd thought of to pass time away: UNCLE COLE Old King Cole Was a merry old soul And a merry old soul was he. Uncle Cole Has a different goal For the writing fraternity. He graciously helps Us scribbling whelps So our stories do make some sense. He corrects the mistakes That each of us makes And ensures we use the right tense. We know he does frown If we verb a noun But still checks each declension and case, So when he is done Our readers have fun As there's never a word out of place. It's willingly generously Done gratis, for free... (I think) But his nephews four (or more) Are not so sure With generous they would agree. They find problematic This fixation grammatic And think he's being obtuse, It's just a good wheeze A veritable tease A really blatant excuse, When their list of requires And Christmas desires Is rejected for being verbose. For they think there's a stash Of unspent cash He keeps exception'ly close Oh, he rewards them with praise In non-fiscal ways Including his magical pies But he says things are tight Though maybe, just might We all have a pleasant surprise And his present be more than a cent. Link to comment
Pedro Posted December 11, 2016 Report Share Posted December 11, 2016 Just so Cole doesn't feel I am getting at him: Cole, he asked for Christmas verse But got from Pedro something worse Remember, though, it must be said That Yorkie Scotsman takes a-bed His own wee padlocked barren purse. Link to comment
Cole Parker Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 What wonderful stuff! See? You guys can do it! Marvelous. Who's next? C Link to comment
DesDownunder Posted December 12, 2016 Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 What was it I said, That had to rhyme with Ed At least 'till I reached the third line, When I could erect a sign, Inviting y'all to select from, shed, fed, tread, bed, or maybe just good head. Link to comment
Cole Parker Posted December 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2016 Des, we've been missing you and your wit. Great to see you're still flourishing. Hope you'll join in more often! C Link to comment
DesDownunder Posted December 13, 2016 Report Share Posted December 13, 2016 Thanks Cole, you're too kind. I hope the surgeons have finished with tweaking my body parts, Yesterday, they replaced my left eye cataract lens. They did the right eye last month. I've started to write a story, but no promises on a completion date. Does Donald Trump edit stories with a gay theme? (yeah that's my attempt at humour.) Link to comment
Cole Parker Posted December 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2016 Thesre are trying times where humor is our best recourse. Maintaining a sense of humor shows courage and resolve. Good for you! C Link to comment
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