Ignorance is Bliss

[Gee Whillickers]

“I can’t believe it! They’re still acting as if everything is...normal. Well, not really, but they’re still not getting it!”

 

John looked up from his macroscope and replied to Ed, “I know. I figured this would work for sure. It would be the way to warn them. To let them know that their spacetime is in peril, and that what is happening to them now simply can’t be happening without outside influence changing reality.”

 

Ed looked up from his own macroscope where he was watching the events in the universe under discussion. His face showed he was pondering something. “We need to really make this obvious. Something they simply can’t ignore. Something so ludicrous that someone in there will sit up, look around, and say, if you’ll excuse my French, ‘What the living fuck?! This can’t be real!’”

 

“What are you suggesting, Ed?” asked John.

 

Ed walked over to the quantum foam displacement generator. “I’m gonna really get in their heads. I’m going to put exactly the wrong people in every important position. Exactly the opposite ones that should be there.”

 

John’s eyes widened, then he chuckled. “You really have a mean streak, Ed. I wouldn’t have realized it if I didn’t see it. What’ll you think they’ll do?”

 

“They’ll flip, obviously. They stop what’s happening, then try and figure out how this could have happened. Hopefully that’ll get them researching quantum foam displacment generators so they can save their reality from the coming false vacuum collapse.”

 

John turned back to his macroscope, as did Ed. They adjusted the relative passage of time so they could watch months in minutes.

 

“Well, crap.” Ed sat down on a nearby chair, looking completely defeated.

 

John was chewing on his lower lip, leaning on the lab bench that held his macroscope. “What is wrong with these people? This is completely bizarre. Don’t they see this simply can’t be? I mean, sure, lots of them are moaning, complaining, talking about how horrible this is. But nobody seems to be twigging that it just can’t be!”

 

“Well,” answered Ed, getting up and walking towards the lunchroom, “Nothing we can do about it now. If they refuse to sit up and look around, then they got it coming to ‘em, that’s for sure. So weird. How the hell did they ever crawl out of caves? Oh well.”

 

John just nodded, shut down the equipment, and followed Ed to the lunchroom.