Non-elegant poetry!

[Ben Dover]

I wanted to post this at the Poets' Corner but feared for my life!

There was a pansy of Khartoum

Who took a lesbian up to his room

They argued all night

Over who had the right

To do what and with which and to whom

Sweet Nickee has NO appreciation for the fine art of the limerick! How about you?

Benjamin Q. Dover

[nick nurse]

There once was a boy from Pompeii

Who had a deep fear he was gay

The sight of a girl

Made him want to hurl

And he'd cum on the boys in a spray.

Bring it on, dear Mr. Ben Dover. :D

[Ben Dover]

There was a young Lad of Nantucket

Whose prick was so long he could suck it.

He said with a grin,

As he wiped off his chin,

"If my ear was a butt I could fuck it."

:roll:

[Guest rusticmonk86]

It's in my signature ...

[dude]

Wow... the limerick is not dead. Which is more than I can say for the poor kitty!

Hey gang, I think we have something going here. I know Ben Dover loves limericks and always has since -to tell the truth- we went to high school together.

If I can remember them, I'll post some he wrote about our teachers and friends back at Riverview High School in St. Louis. We probably won't have to face them as I doubt either of us will set foot in Missouri again after Shameful Tuesday, August 3, 2004.

Do you have any classic limericks? Want to try writing some? Go for it!

And Gabe, my 5 kitties are asking where to send flowers?

[blue]

Suggestion: Why not move this thread to the Poet's Corner?

My cats also want to know where to send flowers, but I found the sig funny anyway.

Keep on with the limericks, haikus, kennings, and puns. I've been getting a huge chuckle out of 'em. Sort of a guilty pleasure.

Ahem. Blue scribbles something madly, then steps up to the mike.

"Hiya, Mike!" ::groans::

There once was a guy in a closet.

Now why was he there, you may posit?

All that baggage and issues,

And things wrapped in tissues,

Had him flummoxed whenever he'd toss it!

:heart:

Oh, it was so simple in school days.

But confusing somehow in a strange haze.

It made me quite pensive,

And overtly defensive.

To find guys in my dreams was no phase.

(Shoot, I need to lighten up! ~ Here goes.)

My dick has a mind of its own.

My brain is confused by this bone.

Tell that to my knob,

When boys make it throb.

Hard-on, tell my brain it's alone.

[Ben Dover]

Oh Blue! that was FABULOUS. There is hope for you, girl!

There was a young fellow named Taylor

Who seduced a respectable sailor.

When they put him in jail,

He worked out the bail,

By doing the same for the jailer.

Ben Dover

[Guest rusticmonk86]

two boys are better than one

three boys are even more fun

make it a roll or a sandwich

some how they still manage

to pump in and out of those buns

..heh

[dude]

Well, Gang let me have a shot at this limerick thing....

Gabe was a young chef up in Frisco

Who met a cute lad at a disco

His name was Stu

He loved cooking too

And he showed Gabe just how to use Crisco

[Ben Dover]

Not bad, dude!

You've come a long way from St. Louis, but baby you've still got a long way to go!

Dedicated to Gavin:

Frisco has a great mayor named Newsom

Who -asked about gays- said he knew some

And after scratching his head

Said he thought they could wed

But the high court just thought it too gruesome

Ben Dover

[Ben Dover]

Now that Nick's back from vacation:

There once was a student named Nick

Who had such a talented dick

He wrote in to Lettermen

That there was no better man

To feature on Silly Dick Tricks?..

Ben Dover

[dude]

Now Ben.... how many times have I told you to be nice to our regulars here at Awesomedude?

That said

There was a young lad down in Dallas

Who had such a wonderful phallus

But he hid it away

And in drag clubs did play

For in heels and a dress, he was Alice

[blue]

Shameless tease! I'm glad you're around to lighten things up. ~Blue takes himself too seriously.

Oh, but now I wonder how talented "Little Nick" is. Does it (no, make that he) does *he* * Sing and dance? * Lift weights? * Do gymnastics? * Swimming and sports? (Probably ball games, at least....)

Knowing Nick a little, maybe Little Nick is more into yoga and meditation. And I suppose that is the only, ah, meat he likes. -- I'm just kiddin', Nick. I respect your beliefs. There's a lot to admire there. (Oops, pun.)

Nope you had a good vacation, Nick. Welcome back. You're not vacant, now, are you? :D

[blue]

...But, the trouble with that is that, "All the young ~girls~ love Alice." D'ya s'pose that's "The trouble with Alice?"

Hmm. Riff on Alice. (Who's Riff, anyway? ;) )

Alice Cooper. (OK.)

Alice In Chains. (EEK! Sorry, don't mind the leather, but the S&M ain't for me.) (Don't think I've ever listened to Alice In Chains.)

Alice In Wonderland. ("What the dormouse said / Feed your head.")

Debbie Does Alice? (Fine, but I'd much rather watch something else.) I suppose two or three lesbians I know might watch, though....

Heheheh.

[Guest]

hey guys--brand new to the forum. Usually over at IOMFATS, with a couple tales posted over there. anyway, this is my favorite limerick.

There once was a young lady named Bright,

Who could travel far faster than light

She took off one day,

In a relative way,

and returned the preceding night.

cheers!

aj

[Guest]

Limericks, i believe, like Mr. Ben Dover's

Are the truest poetry of lovers

Sonnets, while nice

must be read at least twice

while limericks may be recited under the covers.

cheers,

aj

[dude]

Welcome to AwesomeDude Forums, aj.

You are always welcome here so come often (whoops) and tell your friends!

Just one thing, don't give too much encouragement to that guy Ben Dover. He already thinks he is fabulous!

:)

[Guest rusticmonk86]

what a lovely party this is

when the rooms are flowling with...gifts

after the last one's unwrapped

the shark seems to attack

and i can't tell which boxers mine is

gracias por la fiesta, pero donde is mis pantelones?

[Guest rusticmonk86]

the dark of the park seems overtly stark

when that tree only covers your parts

if only we knew

when the police did so too

we wouldn't have blown it apart

[Guest]

Hi all

The posts in Limerick Lane have done two things for me. Firstly, they have brought back memories, and secondly they have inspired me enough to actually post (so please be nice <g>).

And, sorry Dude, but all praise to Ben, if we further inflate his ego, then so be it, he started the ball rolling for me <g>.

In my younger days I was fortunate enough to attend university, and lucky enough to be able to reside in an on campus college. Oh, I did NOT study literature <g>.

Orientation was an integral part of college introduction (hazing if you prefer) - it was important that everybody got to know everybody else as quickly as possible. Apart from being stupid enough to win the greasy pig chase (this was a long time ago <g>), as part of my orientation, I was required to stand up in front of all the other freshmen and older students at college and recite the following ditty:

There was a young buck from Sale

Who had a good fuck in a gale

The gale blew strong

And so did his prong

And the unwanted result was a male

Bearing in mind my current disposition, and taking into account where I am posting, I now feel that the following would be far more appropriate:

But now he only likes boys

He loves to play with their toys

These days when he fucks

Its only with bucks

And no kids result hence no noise

Regards[/i]

[emjaycee]

Hmmm - I'm not working this technology very well.

The last guest post was actually Michael, one of Josh's editors on TLOT.

Guess I'll get the hang of it one day.

Regards

[aj]

Hey rusticmonk--

if you can blow it apart from everyone else, i'm envious. It'd save me a lot in paying for movies and dinners if i could.

a young man who frequented the parks,

wore knee pads, to avoid grass stains and marks.

His pants were most grateful,

but the looks he got hateful,

so he bought a small camp stool for his larks.

cheers,

aj

[Guest rusticmonk86]

the dripping of this ink

seems to me, it used to blink

when bubbles popped

i'd stop to watch

it slide into the sink

--Gabe

P.S. I'm looking for an editor. I've got a lot of short stories and things that aren't quite in final-draft form, and I need someone to help me *ahem* straighten them out.

[dude]

Blue?s lived in the closet now for years

To be found out as gay among his fears

Got set up for a date

But was thwarted by fate

Spent the weekend in the bathroom in tears

[colinian]

This is my favorite limerick:

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical.

The good ones I've seen

So seldom are clean

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

=====

Here are some funny ones:

=====

'Twas a sex-crazy man from Nantucket

If a chance came his way, then he took it

Until one fateful day

When an offer quite gay

Was too good and he told himself "suck it."

=====

There was a young gay guy named Feenie,

Who sobbed to his date, "You're a meanie!

You claim you're a stud

But, oh, what a dud!

Your dick is a real teeny-weeny."

=====

His orange prick had made him unstable

"Doctor, please help me if you are able!"

"There's no sore or decay,

How do you spend your day?"

"I eat Cheetos and watch the porn cable!"

=====

There once was a child named Roy,

A young and innocent boy,

Discovered his peter,

And thought it much neater,

Than books or games or a toy.

=====

On the internet they found romance,

That put both in a hot sexual trance,

But each had a gripe,

About having to type,

With one hand stuck down inside their pants.

=====

Colin