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  1. bilal

    Dominic 3

    There was no response from the other end of the line. “Dominic did you hear what I said?” Matthew heard a sniffing and a voice crackling with emotion. “I heard Matthew, but I don’t want to hear your voice from 250miles away.” Dominic’s voice broke as he sobbed out, “I want to hear it with you standing in front of me. Please come back.” “Oh God Dominic, stop crying. I promise I’ll be back shortly, just give me a few more days.” “NO,” he yelled, “I want you back now, if you don’t come back I won’t speak to you again.” “Do you really mean that, because if you do then you may as well put the phone down your end.” Silence. “Dominic.” “Uh huh.” “So.” “So what” “You haven’t put the phone down.” “I’m thinking about it.” “You’re taking a long time thinking about it.” “How much longer are you going to stay in Kendal?” “Were going around in circles with this conversation Dominic, can’t we talk about something else.” “Such as.” “I don’t know, you, and how you’re doing in the sixth form.” “How do you bloody think I’m doing without you around?” “Dominic don’t start that again,” and Matthew was interrupted. “I didn’t come on the phone to make small talk Matthew, I miss you and want you back, and I’m trying my best to make you understand that.” And in his anger Dominic slammed the phone down. Mr Blake looked at the young boy with tears streaming down his cheeks and took him into his arms. “Dominic, I heard the conversation with you and Matthew now can you explain what is going on between the two of you?” And Dominic with tears running down his cheeks, and a great deal of sniffing, related the feelings the boys had for each other. When he finished and getting his emotions under control he said, “Mr Blake I can’t understand why Matthew went away to think things over without telling me, and now I feel all alone without him by my side.” Mr Blake produced some tissues to wipe the boy’s face then gave him a couple more telling him, “Blow your nose.” After Dominic had done what he was told he said, “I’d better be getting home, my mum warned me about not to be bothering you too much.” “It alright Dominic you’re not bothering us I’ll drop you home. I think I’d like to talk to your mother about what you just told me.” “Uh, I don’t know Mr Blake, my mum might give me Hell for getting you all involved in this.” “Don’t worry about it I’ll drop you home, and I’ll do the talking you just sit tight okay.” “Okay Mr Blake, then we had better get going I don’t want to be late getting back.” Edward Blake scooped the boy under his right arm, “Right let’s go.” Walking over to his wife he pecked her on the lips saying, “See you later darling.” Dominic wrapped under Edward Blake’s arms uttered a, “Bye Mrs Blake,” and the two of them left the house. Outside Dominic was set on his feet and they walked round to the garage and climbed into one of three cars. When they arrived at his block of flats Dominic tried to persuade Mr Blake that there was no need for him to talk to his mother. “You may not think so Dominic, but I do, now let’s go up to your flat.” “It’s not very big Mr Blake, and we don’t have nice furniture like you do.” “Dominic, you don’t have to make excuses about your home. The most important thing is that you’re happy in it.” “Oh yeah Mr Blake, we are, we have great times together my mum, sister, and I.” “Right then, let’s go meet your mother.” Mrs. Spencer was surprised to see her son walk into the flat with a man on his heels. “Mum, this is Mr. Blake.” “Pleased to meet you Mr Blake.” “Please, call me Edward, and I’m pleased to meet you.” Leading the way into the sitting room she said, “Come in Edward, take a seat, and the name is Karen. Now what brings you around here, I hope Dominic hasn’t been making a nuisance of himself.” At the same time she indicated to Dominic to take his sister into the kitchen. “No Karen, actually I’ve come to discuss the friendship between our two sons. You know that they have become very close friends. Now the friendship according to them has become more serious so much so that they’re both confused by it.” He looked at Karen who seemed to be nodding her head understandably at what he was saying. “Let me be more specific Karen, the boys seem to think that they’re in love. Myself I wouldn’t be too concerned about it as yet, as there are still very young. Boys of this age can have very intense friendships, but as they reach adulthood the intensity does wane as their interests take different courses. At the moment Dominic, and Matthew, seem to be confused about their friendship, which has caused him to go away to think it out. Dominic is quite broken up about Matthew leaving without informing him. “Oh dear, Matthew was around here on Monday evening and left without saying anything.” “Why was that?” “Dominic wasn’t in, he’d gone out to one of his classmate’s house, and Matthew seemed a bit upset when hearing Dominic had gone out.” “The reason I came to see you Karen, was that Dominic is still very upset about being away from Matthew, so I thought that I can arrange to have Dominic driven to Kendal to join Matthew.” “But what about school?” “Don’t worry about it, I’m on the School Board I can fix that, also the term finishes next week so he won’t be missing much in any case.” “Let me call him in and ask him if he wants to go.” She called out for Dominic to come into the sitting room, he arrived carrying his sister. “Dominic, put Jemma down,” Doing as his mother instructed he replied, “Yes mum what d’you want.” “Mr Blake has suggested that he can fix it for you to join Matthew in Kendal, do you want to go?” “Yes mum, when can I go?” She turned to look at Matthew’s father. “Tomorrow or is that too soon.” “No, that would be fine Mr Blake, that would be brilliant.” “Okay then I’d better get home and start arranging things, and don’t bother with taking any money with you, you won’t need any.” After he’d made his goodbyes to Karen, Dominic accompanied him down to his car. “Mr Blake, can I ask another favour of you please.” “Ask it Dominic.” “Don’t tell Matthew that I’m joining him.” “Dominic, I wasn’t going to tell him like you I wanted to surprise him” “Mr Blake.” “Yes.” “You’re an okay guy, and thanks again.” The man ruffled the boy’s hair “So are you, now if you want to see Matthew tomorrow you’d better get upstairs and start packing the driver will be around by 11am tomorrow.” Dominic bade Mr Blake a “Goodnight.” With the courtesy being returned by Mr. Blake. He was up bright and early, and after the normal morning rituals of showering, dressing, and eating he sat and waited. The hands of the clock seemed to take forever to reach eleven. Before that Dominic had been down to the entrance to the flats at least half a dozen times, in the hope that the driver would arrive early. At precisely one minute after eleven a black Mercedes saloon drew up and blared its horn. Dominic jumped up grabbed his case kissed his mother and sister goodbye, and flew down the steps to the waiting car. The driver took the bag from him put it in the boot while Dominic climbed into the backseat sat down and strapped himself in. The driver climbed in behind the steering wheel saying “If your ready sir should we begin the journey?” “Oh uh yes, lets go please.” The car smoothly drew away from the flats and headed for the motorway, and then Northwards to Kendal. After an hour and a half of driving the driver drew into a service station parked the car and turned to Dominic saying, “We’re stopping for lunch sir.” Dominic was speechless he had about 75p on him which was just about enough to buy a cold drink let alone lunch, “Uh you go ahead I’m not hungry I’ll stay in the car if it’s okay by you.” “But Mr Blake insisted that I stop for lunch, and to make sure you ate something. He even gave me the money to cover the cost of my food as well.” “Uh oh okay, I don’t want to get you into any trouble,” and Dominic climbed out of the car grateful that Mr. Blake had been thoughtful enough to provide money for food. He was hungry and could eat a horse. During the meal they introduced themselves to each other, and got quite friendly. After they’d finished their meal when they returned to the car Dominic asked, “Can I sit up front with you George instead of at the back?” “Yeah sure hop in,” and they were on their way again. About four thirty in the evening they reached the house that Matthew was staying at. The driver took Dominic’s case out of the boot and walked with him to the front door where he rang the bell. A man a bit older but very similar in appearance to Mr Blake answered the door. He looked at the young boy standing on the doorstep smiled, held his hand out, “You must be Dominic, I’ve been expecting you, come inside.” Turning to the driver he said, “You coming in as well George,” taking the case from his hand.” “No sir, I had better go and book into the hotel, Mr Blake has reserved a room for me for the night, so that I can get an early start tomorrow without bothering anyone.” “Okay George, see you, and have a good day.” With George gone Mr Blake senior led Dominic into the lounge placed his case on the floor and introduced his wife to Dominic. She came and gave Dominic a big hug held him at arms length saying, “What a handsome young man,” making Dominic blush. “Martha don’t embarrass the boy,” Mr Blake said, then calling Dominic to his side he informed him that, “Matthew is upstairs in his room, it’s the one directly ahead at the top of the stairs. Go on up and see him, if you don’t make too much noise he’ll most probably think it’s me coming up.” Dominic thanked Mr Blake senior, and headed for the room. He was nervous and shaking with anticipation with the thought of seeing Matthew again. He reached the room door and knocked gently on it and a voice from inside that he recognised instantly said, “Come in uncle.” Dominic opened the door to see Matthew with his back to the door kneeling on the bed with his head stuck out the window. He stood in the doorway till Matthew turned saying, “What did, Oh God! Dominic and he jumped off the bed they both ran towards each other as they met Matthew scooped the smaller boy into his arms. He hugged the small form to his breast squeezing him, then easing off and looking at the face that had been in his thoughts since he had left home, “I’ve missed you something wicked Dominic.” “Missed you as well, but first I have to tell you something, but please don’t hate me after I tell you.” “Can’t it wait till later?” “No, I have to tell you now, otherwise I may not have the guts to tell you later. It’s been on my mind and I feel you should know. Then you can make your mind up about me.” “Okay go ahead.” “Well you know the evening that you came around to my place and I was out.” “Yeah that was Monday,” “That’s right, well I’d told you that I had a lot of homework and couldn’t go out that evening.” “So,” “So Frank, who gave me a lift home suggested that we do our homework together at his house and without thinking I said yes. That evening after we’d finished we were talking and without thinking I let on that we were friends. Then he asked me if we were wanking, and I got embarrassed and blurted out no. But he guessed that we were by the look on my face, so he asked me if I would wank him. At first I didn’t want too but when he put my hand on his dick I just gave in and did it with him.” “You and he had a wank.” Yes, and I liked it till I had my orgasm, but it wasn’t as good as when I do it with you. Afterwards I felt bad and started crying because I felt ashamed that I had done it with someone else other than you. Frank tried to make me feel better, by saying that it was his fault for taking advantage of me, but it didn’t help much. I wasn’t going to tell you about it but it’s been bugging me. So now that I’ve told you, are you mad with me?” Matthew gazed at the small form in front of him then replied, “Dominic that was one of the reasons I left to come up here. That evening when I got to your house and you had gone out, the very thought of you being with someone else made me go all haywire. If I’d stayed and found out I don’t know what I would have done, I only realized afterwards that I was not thinking right, and needed to try and understand my emotions towards you. So, I came up here to try and get things into perspective. Dominic, you’re only twelve years old, and though I’m much bigger than you I’m only a couple of years older. Yes, I love you, but I really can’t expect you to feel the same way as I do, you’re much too young to start thinking about relationships, and it would be unfair of me to try and get you involved in one. And before you start telling me how advanced in your education you are, remember, you knew practically nothing about sexual feelings, and emotions till you got involved with me. I think we can still be very close friends, but give yourself a chance till you get a little older before you decide what.” and Mathew’s speech was brought to a halt by Dominic shouting. “Will you shut up Matthew, and stop spouting all that holier than thou gobbledygook. Yes, I am twelve years old, and yes, I was a bit behind in my sexual awareness, but you seem to forget I happen to be a very fast learner faster than you. So, you don’t have to be concerned about leading me astray, I know what I want and that’s the reason why I’m here in Kendal.” The older boy stood staring at his young friend, suddenly he blurted out. “What have I let myself in for, but whatever it is I like it.” Then lowered his head so that his lips could be met by a pair as eager as his. Epilogue. He sat staring out of the front room window looking down the drive. His partner for 70+ years had passed away two years ago, and he felt empty without him. He thought back to their days at school, and university, the girls they dated for the experience, and finding it not to their taste, and eagerly returning to each other. Their setting up home together and the adoption of children and the happiness it brought into their lives. Their children had done well, married, and produced children of their own, who were in out of the house on a regular basis, but still he yearned for his partner. He tired easily these days, his reminiscing diminished as his eyes started to close, but then he awakened his eyes focused more clearly. Oh My God! There he was that brown haired twelve-year-old boy walking down the drive. He flew from his wheelchair and was out of the house in a flash, as he ran so the years melted away and he was fourteen again. He met Dominic halfway down the drive, grabbed hold of him and lifted him into his arms, the boy’s legs wrapped around his waist, and arms around his neck and their lips joined. Matthew broke the kiss, Where the Bloody Hell have you been, I’ve been waiting yonks for you. Well I’m here now Matthew, let’s go. He lowered Dominic to the ground then hand in hand they faded into eternity. The End
  2. bilal


    PARAPROSDOKIANSare figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected. 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 3. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 4. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 5. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 6. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 7. To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called research. 8. In filling in an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency', notify: I put 'DOCTOR.' 9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look sexy. 11. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 12. A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory. 13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 14. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. Nor is there any future in it. 15. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car. 17. Finally: I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now. And my personal favourite: I am not arguing with you, I am explaining = why you are wrong
  3. Below is a brief review of the story. Set in the 1960s in an Oxford college, when being gay was still an offence punishable by imprisonment, 'Sandel' tells the story of a love affair between an undergraduate (David Rogers), and a cathedral choir boy Antony Sandel. If you click on the link you will get or more detailed review https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sandel-Angus-Stewart-ebook/dp/B00EGXTH60/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1537665592&sr=8-3&keywords=Sandel
  4. A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure ?" She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston ." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention ?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really ?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there ?" "Well, she explained, "One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait." "Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best." "I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name . . . " "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
  5. The book I think you're enquiring about is The River by Rumer Godden it was written in I think 1946 and made into a film in 1951. I've attached a review of the book below, hope it helps The grace, the fragility, associated with Rumer Godden, again most evident in this new book which is not a story (and therefore less probably popular), but rather an interlude, a pause in time as well as a play on time, in the early adolescence of a young girl. This concerns Harriet, one of several children in an English family in India, Harriet who has reached the frightening, questioning borderline between adolescence and maturity. Here are her thoughts about living and dying, about the world, about change as her older sister withdraws to an adult sphere, her little brother is killed by a cobra. Omnipresent is the sense of the irrevocability of time when ""nothing stops days, or rivers"", adding a metaphysical tone to the idyll. Frail, fugitive, this may be too tenuous for may tastes- even though she has a following.
  6. bilal

    When You're 70+

    (some of the jokes that old, also) I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches...but, When you’re seventy...............who cares? ********** I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?” I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....." When you’re seventy..............who cares? *********** I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.” I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.” Cost me a fat lip, but... When you’re seventy..............who cares? ********** I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. "Really" she said, "Go on then... Try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday." Cost me a kick in the nuts, but... When you’re seventy...............who cares? ********* I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. When you’re seventy...............who cares? ********** I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you’re seventy...............who cares? "Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not years, and remember We do not quit playing because we grow old.... We grow old because we quit playing"
  7. bilal

    A Lawyer

    One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass" "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there eating grass under that tree." "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the second poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also." The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!" "Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
  8. bilal


    A PASTOR visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. THE PASTOR visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on. "Not bad" said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking, but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made love to me right then and there." "They don’t like that in heaven, The Pastor said. The woman replied, "They're not too happy about it in Costco either!" A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there' - and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants.’ After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady. It read: 'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be: I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche-Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami, and a 10,000 acre ranch in Texas. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off two inches. Just send the wine back.’
  9. Pauline Phillips My first sexual boyhood experiences with the opposite sex took place at the age of twelve. Let me relate what happened. I went to boarding school as my parents were overseas my Father working for Burmah Oil Company. (That’s not spelt wrongly that’s how the company spells its name and they’re still in existence today.) Anyway after tea we were confined to certain areas of the school. So as would be, rules are made for breaking especially when you’re twelve years old, so my friends and I decided to break bounds. We agreed to break out and head for the playing fields that were the other side of a main road. Vic Algernon (short for Victor) led the way followed by myself and Pete Buckhurst brought up the rear. When we got to the playing fields we headed for the hut, it was there at the side of the field up alongside an 8ft. hedge. Workmen who were doing some work in the surrounding fields, used the hut during their Tea Breaks. Now it was deserted and the three of us entered it, we were sitting there just chatting excited that we’d broken bounds when we saw Pauline Phillips walk past the hut window. We all jumped up opened the door and yelled for her to come in, which she did. Pauline was a local village girl, well known by most of the older boys in school, as lots of stories were circulating about her. She was 16yrs old and had rather large breasts. Anyway we started chatting her up and soon the talk turned to sex. After allowing us to play with her tits and her crutch she took her panties off and lay on the hut floor. Soon all three of us had our pants off, Vic was the first to go, he lowered himself onto her, inserted his 3 inch dick and after about half a minute shot his load. I went next with a similar sized cock, and after sticking my dick inside her (this was the first time for any of us) a couple of strokes and I was shooting my load. Pete who had been waiting impatiently lowered himself down on her, but before he could get his dick inside her his hips started pumping and he shot his load all over her dress. God, was she bloody mad, it would leave a stain and she would have to go home like that. We took the piss out of Pete something wicked on the way back to school. We entered the school grounds and didn’t see Pauline again till about 2 weeks later. We were in the workman’s hut again, and like the previous time she came by. She came into the hut and we started chatting and then we tried to feel her up again, but she resisted and told us not to do it. The three of us were all worked up so we didn’t take no for an answer. Pete grabbed her legs, and I wrapped my arms around her pinning her arms to her side, and Vic started to put his hand up her skirt to take her panties off. She struggled so much that she got her legs loose and started kicking out, so we let go of her and got the hell out of there, and back to school. The next day during lessons the whole school were taken out of their classes and assembled in the main hall, and up on stage was the Principal, Pauline, and her mother. The next thing was after being identified by Pauline Phillips, we three were pulled out of assembly and told to go to the Principal’s office and wait there for him. About ten minutes later he arrived, and had three shit scared boys standing in front of him. Sitting down he looked at us and asked us, “Why did we try to rape Pauline Phillips.” We were dumbfounded then shouted out, “We didn’t try to rape her sir, and because she wouldn’t do it with us we thought she was just trying to be awkward. So we tried to make her but because she struggled so much we gave up and left. We couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t do it like she did the last time.” The Head stood up what do you mean the last time he asked. I said, “The three of us did it to her about 2 weeks ago sir.” He had a bit of a smile on his face and asked, “What did you do to her?” So Vic says “We put are thingy’s into her and shot so we didn’t know why she wouldn’t do it this time.” “Didn’t you Idiots know that she was having her Periods”? He asked. We all looked at him with blank faces and Vic asked. “What’s Periods sir? He looked at us, “You’ll learn about periods at a later date, meantime you boys will go without pocket money for the rest of term, and if any of you are in front of me again I will inform your parents and expel you, is that understood.” All three of us nodded he then dismissed us and we left his office. Only six months later did I learn what periods were as did the other two. Meanwhile for the rest of the term the three of us had reputations that many of the other boys would have given their right testicle for. I often wonder what Pauline Phillips thoughts were, on being screwed by Three boys in less than two minutes. Mind you she was good wank material for quite a few months till Valerie Caxton got her hands on me. Valerie One of the first girls I ever went steady with was Valerie Caxton. I’d been going out with Valerie for a couple of years from the age of thirteen, she used to live across the road from me. I, at that time lived with my aunt as my parents were overseas. My aunt, was a friend of the Caxtons that’s how I got to know her. Valerie, took a liking to me she fancied my long hair and tan. I was attending boarding school so only saw Valerie during the holidays. While I was at boarding school she used to write to me. I was one of the few boys who got letters from a girl-friend and I guess the youngest, which was a terrific status symbol, I used to feel ten feet tall but in reality was 4’ 11”. Anyway, we used to see each other when I came home on holidays, and go to the movies, and such, no sex was involved at that time only friendship. When I was nearing fifteen, we started having some heavy petting sessions, she would feel my dick by putting her hands in my pocket and I would finger her and play with her breasts. One day her parents were out, I was never the forceful type actually a bit shy, she dragged me up to her room, we started kissing and some heavy petting, when suddenly she said, “It’s about time we had sex.” I knew the basics about contraceptive’s and the like so I told her “I didn’t have any.” You wouldn’t believe it she pulled one out, (She must have been planning it) and from that day we started having sex on a regular basis. About three or four months later, when talking about sex with some of my friends at school Vic included, one of the older boys tells me. “The best method is to get her to lie across the bed with her arse right on the edge, then lift her legs up in the air and then do it, you’ll be able to get your balls in as well”. So, being naïve, and armed with this knowledge, when I went home for my summer holidays, I intended at the first opportunity to try it out. About a week later when her parents were out, we headed up to her bedroom. She dropped her knickers, I my pants, put on the rubber then told her to lie across the bed. She looked a bit surprised but did what I asked, then when she’d got to the edge of the bed, with a bit of a struggle I lifted her legs into the air. I lined myself up, and leaned over to enter her. Now comes the tricky part. Valerie’s bedroom floor is covered in Parkray tiles that are highly polished, and she had a bedside mat that I was standing on. So, as I leant over to enter her, the mat slipped from under my feet. I came crashing down, my face hitting her in the crutch. My erection went down so fast it was ridiculous, and she was killing herself laughing, which only added to my embarrassment, jeez! I could have died. But we did succeed the next time with the bedside mat, and my socks removed, didn’t get my balls in. Una This story about my adventures with the opposite sex was like a Shakespeare play, Loves Labour Lost. I had left school at 16 yrs and 6months without the knowledge of my parents, as they were still overseas and started work as an Apprentice Electrical Engineer. I had met a girl Una, just can’t remember her surname it might have been Daley but I’m not too sure. Anyway she happened to be a friend of Valerie’s so that was how I came to know her, picking up girls on my own at that age just about terrified me so I usually relied on friends. Una was a prick tease, she would let me play with her breasts, and finger her and she wanked me a few times, but would never let me put my dick up her crutch. This particular day I came home from work and she phoned me, (I’d left my aunt’s house and was living with a cousin who had his own house, and had rented a bed-sit to me.) I spoke to her and told her to come over to my room as we could have more privacy. She arrived about 6.30pm and after a brief hello, I started on her trying to get between her legs. After about an hour of really getting her worked up she conceded to letting me shag her. I was all excited then realised I didn’t have any rubbers, and that really annoyed me as she wouldn’t agree to doing it without one. So I started on her again, and by promising her that I would pull it out when I was going to discharge, got her to agree to open her legs again. This time I had my pants off in two seconds flat, she was on her back and I buried my dick inside her without any ceremony. I started pumping and having been worked up for so long, it wasn’t going to be long before I achieved an orgasm. Now at nearly 17 I think I weighed just over 8 stone about 120lbs. So being buried deep within her and nearing my orgasm, there was no way I was going to pull out. Una sensed this, and just as I was about to blast off, she had her hands on either side of my pelvis and she just lifted me up and threw me off her. Bloody hell, one minute I was deep inside her fucking like a madman, the next I was flipped off, her furiously fucking fresh air and my spunk flying all over the place. Boy was she mad at me, as some of my semen had gone on her clothes and for not pulling out like I said I would. For me it was terrible not having anything wrapped around my dick when I was cumming and ending up on the floor. Needless to say the next time I made sure that I had an ample supply of rubbers. So now you know why I call it Loves Labour Lost. In conclusion what I did learn about the opposite sex, was that they cannot handle the male organ as proficiently as another male. Females are competent, but men, from a very early age learn how to play with their ding-a-ling. So woman are a lot less experienced and not in the same class as a man. My adventures with the opposite sex came to an end, when I met a rather handsome boy during my Engineering apprenticeship. Who seduced me, and gave me the best hand job of my life. He’s kept up the good work ever since, and the best part no rubbers involved.
  10. bilal

    Dominic 1 & 2

    Many thanks for your positive responses to the story. Will endeavour to continue with it. Telling a story I'm not too bad at, but grammar, and punctuation, is not my forte.
  11. bilal

    Dominic 1 & 2

    Dominic. Part 1 Six weeks before the end of the summer term because he’d won a scholarship, he’d been taken out of his regular school and sent to a Public school for boys. So that he could be assessed and placed into classes that catered for his academic abilities. Now two weeks later he lay on his bed letting his imagination take him on a ride of make belief where all the scenes enacted were controlled by him and played out to his satisfaction. As he walked to school there ahead of him was Matthew Blake and his friends. They hadn’t seen him yet, till one of the boys turned to look around and noticed him. The boys ahead stopped having been alerted to the fact that he was behind them. He approached the group, this time there was going to be a different outcome to the scenario that normally took place when confronted by these boys on a daily basis. They had know idea of the changes that had taken place in him, and the super fighting powers that he now possessed, even Bruce Lee was not in his league. When he neared them they sneered at him and shouted the normal offensive remarks. He didn’t bother to even break his stride but just walked around them to continue on his way to school. The moment he felt the hand on his shoulder he turned, and in the next instant the boy responsible for trying to detain him was lying on the floor howling in pain. The other boys stood and stared in disbelief at what had just taken place. He didn’t say a word instead he looked at the boys as if they were bits of human excrement, turned on his heels and continued on his way to school. The boys helped their friend up and decided that if they all rushed his assailant at the same time they would be able to inflict the same pain that he’d meted out to their comrade. He heard the running feet nearing him and was not surprised, it was what he’d expected. The moment he knew that they were within striking distance he leapt into the air turning at the same time, and his feet striking out taking the two leading boys in mid-drift, landing lightly on his feet his arms shot out taking the other two boys out of the fight and then he was face to face with Matthew Blake. He stood still and gazed at the boy who was two years older than him, fourteen inches taller and most probably nearly twice his weight. “It’s just you and me now Blake he exclaimed, you ready to take your punishment.” “Do your worst Spencer you don’t scare me.” Matthew Blake said, as he advanced towards the smaller boy in a shuffling gait with both hands up and fists clenched. “I don’t intend to scare you Blake, just give you some of the treatment you and your cronies have been giving me.” “DOMINIC, if you don’t get out of bed now you’re going to be late for school.” “Okay mum I’m up, I’m up.” And Dominic Spencer his thoughts broken returned to the real world. He walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror at his reflection. There was this boy who had turned twelve a week ago, with a mop of brown wavy hair skinny as can be staring back at him. He tried flexing his muscles but was unable to notice any difference in the size of his arms when he did, nor for that matter any muscle. He went into the bathroom and stood on the scales 76lbs. “Umm one pound heavier than last week,” he thought, but if I had to go to the loo and have a dump it would be the same. He stood up against the doorpost put his hand on top of his head so that it lay flat on his head with the middle finger touching the doorpost, he then stepped away to look at where the finger rested, That’s still about four feet eight inches jeez! Man, this is so bad when is it going to increase by at least half an inch, he thought, then stripped to get into the shower. While in the shower his mind began to wander again, It would be brilliant if I could get super powers like being abducted by aliens and have my body changed then sent back to earth to put everything right. I would be able to fly or even be like Silver Surfer and have a board that you can’t fall off, that goes as fast as light and. His thoughts were shattered again by his mother’s voice, “DOMINIC, I’m not going to tell you again, hurry up.” “Alright mum, alright, I’m nearly finished,” he shouted back, annoyed that his thoughts of super powers had been broken. He was in the kitchen within the next few minutes stuffing some cereal down his throat kissing his mother and sister goodbye and rushing out of the house. After the bus ride as he walked the last couple of hundred yards to school he kept a constant lookout for any of the adversaries from his daydream. Then he came out from one of the side streets and his stomach churned as Matthew Blake, joined him on his walk to school. He bowed his head and tried to slow his pace so that he would fall behind. Turning his head the older boy beckoned with his hand, “Come on Spencer keep up I want to talk to you.” Quickening his pace he caught up again with the older boy. “What about Blake?” “You’re in our class and you’re two years younger so I suppose you’re one of those kids who has brains oozing out of his ears, but it’s a bit different from junior school isn’t it.” Dominic was silent and just kept pace with the fourteen-year old. “What’s with you Spencer can’t you answer.” “Yes, it’s different to junior school, and lot’s more bullies to make life miserable for some boys.” “I suppose you’re referring to me.” “Yes, to you and the others who you hang around with.” “Yeah, well a bit of name calling doesn’t hurt anyone, but the real reason I wanted to talk with you is that I want your help.” “My help,” Dominic burst out, “In what way can I help you?” “My dad went ballistic when he saw my last report, and if I don’t improve I’m going to lose a lot of my privileges. So, I was wondering if you could help me with some after school tuition to improve my grades.” “Yes, sure, whenever you want, just tell me the days and we can arrange the time.” Dominic tried to keep his voice sounding as normal as possible but inside he was shaking as he thought, Is this for real, or is it some kind of trap to get me alone so he and his friends can amuse themselves at my expense. “What about in the evenings say from 6 to 8pm I could come over to your house Spencer or, if you want we can meet at mine.” “No, not at my place there would be too much distraction there.” “Okay then we can meet at my place starting from this evening after school. My parents will be going out around 7pm for their weekly Friday evening social night so we’ll be left alone after that.” “Alright Blake, whatever you say, but I have no idea where you live.” Matthew Blake supplied an address then strode off leaving Dominic in his wake. Other than during the meal break when Harrison, did his usual of roughing him up a bit in the school grounds, and the normal snide remarks as to his manliness the day went quite well. For once Blake and his friends hadn’t accosted him but maybe this was due to the fact that Blake required his help and had called off his dogs of war. On his return from school he informed his mother that he was going out later that evening to Mathew Blake’s house. He went into his bedroom did his homework which for him was like adding two and two, then showered and changed. He spent time with his younger sister playing with her one of his favourite pastimes, then ate his evening meal said “Goodbye,” to his mother, and made his way to his evening appointment. Walking down the driveway of the Blake house, Dominic was impressed by its size and the surrounding grounds. Nervously he reached for and pressed the doorbell. He heard the sounds of the chimes then footsteps the door opened, and Blake was standing in front of him. “Come in Spencer.” He entered into the hallway and looked around. Ahead and to the right was a staircase that curved to the left as it wound its way to the next floor. He looked down and noticed the highly polished parquet flooring and was a bit reluctant to walk on them in his trainers. “Come on Spencer don’t just stand there,” and Blake gestured to him as he led the way into the Lounge. He followed then stood in shock at the size of the lounge, it was as big as their apartment or nearly. Again Blake gestured to him to be seated next to him on the settee patting the empty space with his hand. Timidly he approached looking all around as he sat next to Blake. “Spencer what the hell is wrong with you, you look like you’re in a dream.” “Uh, I umm, I’ve never been in a house as big or as grand as this before.” “Why, where do you live?” When Dominic told him the area that he lived in and stated that it was a council property, the older boy nodded his head and kept quiet. After a strained silence Dominic looked at Matthew Blake and asked, “Do you want me to leave?” “Bollocks, why would I want you to leave?” “I don’t know, you were so quiet after I told you where I lived that I thought you were embarrassed that you’d asked me to come here.” “I’m not bloody embarrassed, it’s just because you come to our school I didn’t think you would be from that area and in a council flat.” Dominic looked at the older boy lowering his head he said. “The only reason why I attend the same school as you is because I’m supposed to be above average intelligence for my age, and won a scholarship to the school.” “You don’t have to tell me about your brains, we all know about that, you’re two years younger and still way ahead of us. They should put you in with the sixth formers they’re more to your standard.” “I think they’re still assessing me Blake.” You don’t have to be so formal you can use my Christian name if you want.” “Sorry Blake, umm I mean Matthew, when they’ve assessed me then they’ll decide where to place me.” “I don’t suppose you’d want to stay in our class would you.” “I umm I don’t know.” “Oh, come off it Spencer.” “Why don’t you use my Christian name if I have to use yours?” “Oh okay Dominic, you’d be glad to get out of our class wouldn’t you.” “I’m not sure if another class would be any different. The only time I was happy was in my last school. I was with boys of my own age, we used to have great times together although classes used to be boring. Then I was moved to this present school, wish I hadn’t let on about my learning abilities.” Then looking up at the older boy, “So what did you want me to assist you in.” “Nothing.” “What, so why did you ask me to help you.” “Just to get to know and talk to you.” “But you’re always having a go at me at school and calling me all sorts of names.” “Yeah, I’m a bit of a shit aren’t I, but I was jealous of your brains and how a twelve-year-old could be so smart. To be really truthful my dad made me see what a lowlife I’d been when I discussed you with him.” “What did you discuss about me?” “Just how advanced you were in your studies and how we took the mickey out of you because of your size. He was really annoyed, that I for one could treat you in such a manner, and gave me a lecture on my insensibility. I promised him that I would rectify the matter and so here we are.” “Thanks, it has been bad but it should get better now, unless they decide to move me again.” “Don’t worry, I know a few of the sixth formers if they move you there. I’ll have a word with Williams, he’s one of the prefects and he’ll make sure that you don’t get any hassle.” While he talked he studied the small form sitting next to him and now realised that Dominic though small was actually very good looking, verging on beautiful. Was that another of the reasons that he’d made life so difficult for this small, shy, and sensitive boy, whom he was getting fonder of by the minute. “Oh thanks Matthew,” The voice broke Matthew’s train of thought as he thrilled to the sound of his name being spoken by the still unbroken voice of Dominic, he looked at the boy and felt that he would like to grab hold of him and crush him in his arms, instead he smiled and asked, “What would you like to do Dominic, now that you know you don’t have to tutor me.” “Anything you want.” We can play billiards or snooker, PS2 or pc games whichever you like.” “I don’t know how to play snooker or billiards never played it before.” “Well what about the play-station?” “Okay, I’ve played at my cousins at Christmas time.” “If you really want to play the play-station we will, but I’ve got a better idea.” “What?” “Let’s just sit and talk.” “Yeah I’d prefer that, I haven’t had a lot of practice on those games, actually I only played it the once then only for a couple of hours.” “So how does it feel to be with kids a lot older than you?” “I never thought that older boys could be so unkind, just because I happen to be younger and a lot smaller.” “I should be one of the first to be put in the firing line for making it tough for you, but if you want we could become friends, do you want too?” “You’re not having me on are you Blake, umm Matthew?” “No honest Dominic, I’m not, I even told my mates to quit with the name calling, and roughing you up during todays break periods.” “Thanks a lot, I could do with a break from all the hassle.” “So what’s it like being a brain box and having all the special treatment.” “It gets pretty intense at times, okay so I’m able to absorb and understand information better than most kids of my age, and older. But I also like to play like the other kids. That’s what the adults seem to forget. Because I’m so advanced in my studies, they don’t see me as a twelve year old, but someone much older. It really use to suck at times, until I reminded them of it, then they realize their error and let me out to play.” Their talk was interrupted by Matthew’s parents entering the room, he introduced Dominic to them and Mr Blake walked up to him took his hand and shaking it said, “I’m very pleased to meet you Dominic, and I’m glad to see that Matthew has started to make amends for his earlier behaviour.” “It’s nice to meet you Mr and Mrs Blake.” Turning to his son Mr Blake said, “We’ll be back by mid-night Matthew, try not to make too much of a mess and make sure you take Dominic home on time, I don’t want his parents worrying.” “Okay, bye dad, bye mum,” and the boys were left to themselves. “Do you want to have anything to eat or drink Dominic?” “No, I’m fine, I ate before coming over.” “Right let’s go up to my room so I can finish my homework I hadn’t quite finished when you arrived.” The two boys made their way up the winding staircase, Dominic looking around in awe at the sumptuous manner in which the house was decorated and furnished. Reaching the landing Matthew turned to his right, walked along to the door at the end of the passageway and entered followed by Dominic, who didn’t fully enter the room but stood in the doorway and stared. “Oh shit! Dominic not again, come on in and sit on the bed.” He walked over to the bed and sat down as Matthew had suggested. “Gosh, I wish my room was as quarter as big as this I’d be over the moon.” “What d’you mean as quarter as big, your room can’t be that small.” “You haven’t seen our council flat, our box room has been converted into a bedroom for me. I think the dimensions are Nine feet by seven, but at least I have it all to myself and I’m not disturbed when I’m studying.” Matthew looked at the younger boy, and his feelings of guilt upset him, as he thought of his and his friends earlier behaviour towards Dominic. He watched the boy as he sat on the bed and bounced up and down a couple of times testing the mattress. “Okay if you’re comfortable I’m going to finish off my homework which shouldn’t take too long, you won’t be bored will you? “Me no, I could sit here all day just looking around, you’ve got a brilliant room.” “Well look as much as you want.” Matthew said, and sat at his desk to do his homework. Dominic sat in silence looking around at all the paraphernalia that was in Matthew’s room, till eventually his eyes rested on the boy seated at the desk. He studied the older boy and thought, He’s quite nice now that he’d got to know him a bit better. Don’t suppose he’d want me, as a special friend, he’s heaps bigger and richer than me, at least he and his friends won’t be taking the mickey out of me anymore. Wish he was my best friend that would be brilliant, nah that can’t happen I’m too small and young for him to want me as a best friend. “What you thinking about?” “Uh! “You heard.” “Uh! Nothing, just looking around.” “Well at least you’re quiet, normally the other kids can’t stop asking questions and yapping while they’re here.” “Didn’t want to disturb you while you’re doing your homework.” Matthew pushed his books to one side saying, “Balls to the homework can do it later,” he sat at his desk looking at the boy seated on his bed whose feet didn’t touch the ground. A sudden impulse had him jump from his seat and run across towards the boy. Grabbing him round the waist with one arm he lifted and pushed Dominic backwards and pinned him to the bed. He lay with part of his body resting on top of younger boy looking down at him.” “Got you,” he exclaimed. “What, what are you going to do.” Dominic stammered nervously “I thought we were going to be friends you’re not going to beat me up are you?” “Well you thought wrong I’ve been longing to do this to you. Now you’re really going to get it.” He lowered his face to the boy’s and rubbed their noses together then laughed. Dominic angry at first for the fear instigated by Mathew then saw the funny side and laughed along with Matthew. “Do it again Matthew I liked that, it was nice.” Matthew stopped laughing and gazed down at the smiling boy, again he lowered his face to the younger boy’s but this time brought their lips together in a quick kiss. Dominic was startled but at the same time thrilled by the kiss, looking up at Matthew he enquired. “What was that for?” “I’m sorry about the kiss, couldn’t help it, I just felt like doing it.” “Oh, are you a homosexual?” “No, I don’t think so, I mean I’m not sure, I’ve never fancied any other boy before, just you, and then only when you came here and I had a chance to get to know and see you close up. I don’t know, I just got this urge inside of me to hug and kiss you. You’re not too put off by what I’ve said and did are you?” “No, I’m happy to know you like me, but I don’t really know much about this sort of thing only what I’ve read, and never given it much thought.” “Don’t you think about sex, and all that sort of stuff?” “Not really, should I?” “Don’t you umm you know play with yourself and such?” “By play with myself do you mean masturbation?” “Yes.” “No, I’ve never done it, never thought about it should I have?” “Don’t you get erections?” “Of course I do, and when I fondle my dick it feels nice but that’s all.” “Haven’t you ever rubbed it till you get a really nice feeling in your dick like as if you’re in heaven?” “No.” “Not so smart after all, I was doing it at least three times a day at your age.” “What’s so smart about masturbation?” “You’ll find out when you do it for the first time.” “Will you teach me?” “Umm I umm I it’s nearly time for you to go home, come on I’ll walk you back.” “You didn’t answer my question.” “Look, all you have to do is hold your dick in your hand and rub it up and down till you get a tingling in your balls, then you get this really good feeling like no other, it’s absolutely indescribable.” “Well if you’re not going to show me, I may as well go home.” Dominic if I was to show you how to do it. You and I might feel bad about it later.” “What do you mean bad?” Well you’re younger than I am, and I might feel that I’m taking advantage of you because of your age and inexperience, and you might feel embarrassed about letting me do it to you. Just let’s leave it for tonight.” The boy sighed reluctantly, “Oh okay if you say so.” “I’m sorry Dominic, I promised my dad that I’d get you home on time and it’s already gone past eight. I promise I’ll show you tomorrow when you come over. Now come on I’ll walk you home.” “You promise, you double promise.” “I promise, I promise, now move it will you, otherwise your parents are going to have a go at me.” “I don’t have parents only the one, my mum.” “What happened to your dad?” “No idea my mum never talks about him, in any case she isn’t married.” “Oh well never mind, let’s get you home before your mum has a go at me.” They left the house and walked chatting like boys normally do, the older at times wrapping an arm around the smaller boy protectively till they arrived at the block of flats where Dominic lived. “You coming in for a while Matthew?” “If it wasn’t so late I would but I’d better get home, what time are you coming around tomorrow?” “Can’t be too sure, have to help my mum with the groceries so say about 1pm.” “Okay give me a call before you leave.” “Umm I can’t, we don’t have a phone, only a mobile that my mother keeps.” “No problem, just come over when you can, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Matthew turned to leave. “You’ve forgotten something Matthew.” He turned back confronting Dominic, “What? “Dominic laughing said, “Aren’t you supposed to kiss your date goodnight,” and turned to run into the flats. Matthew smiled and grabbed the boy before he could enter through the doors to the flats. He spun him around and quickly pecked him on the lips then turned and ran off. Dominic stood staring after Matthew till he was out of sight. With Matthew gone he suddenly felt a little sad and realised that he missed his presence. He turned and entered the door and climbed the stairs to their first floor flat. Inside he greeted his mother then played with his younger sister before she went to bed. With not a lot to interest him on the TV he went to his room to read but could not concentrate on his book. Thoughts of what had happened earlier kept invading his mind. He put his book down and started fondling his loins till he was erect. Sliding his hand under the elastic waistband of his tracksuit bottoms he started to rub his penis in the way that Matthew had told him. He was starting to experience some quite intense feelings in his loins when his mother’s voice interrupted the administrations to his penis. With the fear that his mother might walk into the room and catch him in the act of masturbation his penis quickly deflated. He got up from his bed and made his way to see what it was his mother required of him, knowing that he could continue his experiment later. As he walked home Matthew’s thoughts were in overdrive about his actions and what had driven him to do what he had. He’d kissed the boy twice but also in the open, luckily there had been no one to see it happen, but all the same that was a totally stupid thing to do. Still feeling the other boy’s lips on his had given him an instant erection, and right now thinking about it he’d have to go and get some instant relief, otherwise he was liable to make some rather nasty stains on his bed sheets tonight. He waited impatiently looking out of the front room window towards the entrance to the drive waiting to see that small slim form, with a mass of brown wavy hair atop his head flopping down around his ears walk into view. The red lips that looked like they’d been sucking a strawberry lolly, which he’d kissed twice. His face, that made him want to crush the boy to his breast and have him remain like that forever. His thoughts now centred on the fact the boy had still not arrived, His thoughts were in overdrive. Where the fuck is he, he said he’d be here by one o’clock and it’s nearly two now, if he isn’t here in the next five minutes I’m fucking off to Brian’s house. 2pm came and the boy hadn’t arrived, alright another five minutes and I’m definitely going he can go to hell. Ten past two and still no Dominic. “What the hell could have happened to him, and he hasn’t even got a bloody phone so that I can call him, he’s a right little shit I’m going to, and Matthew’s face broke into a huge grin, God here he his. He headed to the front door flinging it open and ran down the driveway meeting Dominic half way, then grabbing him lifting him into his arms swinging him around and asking, “Where the bloody hell have you been, I’ve been waiting effing yonks for you.” “My mum was messing around in the shopping mall, she took ages to finish the shopping.” Not letting go of the Dominic he carried him into the house then set him on his feet. “Come on lets go to my room, oops do you want something to eat or drink first.” “I’ll have a cold drink please, its thirsty work walking here in the heat.” “Okay, you carry on to my room and I’ll bring it up.” Dominic made his way to Matthew’s room and sat on the bed waiting for him to appear. Shortly Matthew arrived carrying a tray containing a tumbler and a can of Pepsi and set it on his desk. He opened the can and poured it into the tumbler filling it to the brim. Then walking over to Dominic, he handed it to him. “Here you are, that should quench your thirst.” Taking the glass Dominic expressed his thanks then proceeded to drain it. As he stood up to go and put the glass back on the tray, Matthew smiling took the glass from him to take it back to the desk. “You must have been thirsty, do you want another one.” “No (and in the middle of his sentence he burped) thanks, oops sorry.” Matthew couldn’t help himself he replaced the glass went over to the boy hugged him lifted him onto the bed and pinned him down with his body. With Matthew squeezing and shaking his body Dominic burped and apologised again. “This will stop you burping,” and Matthew brought their lips together. He was in heaven tasting the younger boy’s lips which had a sweetness to them from the Pepsi he’d just finished drinking. He broke the kiss then looked down at the boy’s face, the mouth was slightly open, and he could see the two front teeth with a very slight gap between them that looked so large compared to the other teeth, it made him look really cute. Dominic with a questioning look on his face and his eyes searching Mathew’s asked, “Do you like kissing me.” “Yes,” Matthew responded, “I don’t know why, but every time I see you I want to do it. I must be going crazy, I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I’m sorry I won’t do it again.” “It’s okay I don’t mind, but I was just wondering why you do it.” “I told you last night why I kissed you, if I tell you how I really feel you might think I’m weird.” “And kissing another boy is considered the norm I presume.” “Because you’re more intelligently advanced than most boys, do you have to talk in that superior manner, you’re not a teacher talking to one of his pupils.” “Sorry Matthew, I really didn’t mean to sound pompous, will you please tell me I really want to know?” Matthew released his hold on Dominic and sat up on the edge of the bed. With his feet on the ground he hung his head trying to compose his thoughts on how best to express his feelings to Dominic. He felt a hand come around the back of his head then rest on his cheek and force his head to turn and look into the face that was consuming his thoughts. Dominic kneeling on the bed to get his face level with Matthew’s looked into his eyes said, “Come on Matthew tell me.” He smiled at the younger boy, “Okay brains seems like you’re a bit backward in the human emotions field, though I suppose you are still quite young. Mind you I’m only a couple of years older myself but I have had a bit more experience than you. Anyway, here goes. I think, no I know I’m getting extremely fond of you Dominic, I’ve dated girls and even had a couple of them wank me, but I’ve never felt anything like this before. I’ve not done anything sexual with you except kiss you, and yet, I feel being in your company is all I need. With the girls I only went with them to get them to play with my dick and feel their tits and finger them, but there was nothing like this feeling like I’m having now.” Gazing into the younger boy’s eyes he asked, “Do you have any romantic feelings towards me Dominic, you can speak the truth I won’t hold it against you if you don’t?” “I don’t know Matthew,” Dominic responded nervously, “I feel nice being with you and even when you kiss me, but I’m not too sure about the wanking thing.” Matthew’s laughter burst forth, after controlling his laughter he said, “That’s put very delicately isn’t it, you’re not too sure about the wanking thing. Dominic, I just told you, being near you and kissing you is enough. I don’t.” And Matthew’s voice was interrupted by Dominic, “But I tried it last night like you told me. The first time my mum interrupted me, and by the time I got to bed and started doing it again I was so tired I fell asleep. Now today, I’ve not had a chance to do it. So, I’m still not sure about what it’s like to have a wank and how it makes you feel towards someone. Can’t you show me then I’ll know if I want to or not?” “Oh shit! Dominic, you don’t want to do it now do you?” “Bloody hell Matthew, are you dumb, how many more times do I have to say it. Yes.” Matthew rose from the bed saying, “Just let me go and shut the door in case one of my parents decides to come in.” He returned to the bed, “Okay lie on the bed but first lower your tracksuit bottoms and briefs to under your dick.” Dominic did as he was instructed while Matthew sat beside him. He looked down at the slim inch and a half uncircumcised flaccid penis. He put his hand under the boy’s scrotum feeling the marble sized balls and gently fondled them. Dominic’s penis sprang to life and was rock hard instantly. Matthew continued to play with the ball sac then moved his hand to grasp the three-inch erection and started to stroke it. Dominic was in heaven while Matthew played with his loins, he was having the most marvellous sensations coursing through his body. As Matthew continued to stroke his dick he started to feel something building inside of him in the lower regions. Suddenly instinct took over and he started to buck his hips into the hand that was giving him so much pleasure. Matthew sensed the boy was nearing his orgasm so started stroking even faster, then suddenly the boy’s body convulsed his hips bucked and he gave out a long drawn out moan as his orgasm took control, he continued to thrust his dick into Matthew’s hand till his orgasm subsided, he closed his eyes and lay still. Regaining his composure, he felt a pair of lips press against his and opened his eyes to see Matthew looking at him. “Dominic, are you all right?” “Dominic smiled never better, now I know why you did it at least three times a day, that was as you said indescribable.” “Matthew.” “What?” “Can we do it again?” “Bloody hell you’ve only just finished.” “Well let me do you first then you can do me again.” “Dominic, is that all you want me for, to have wanks?” “I umm I ‘m sorry, it sounded bad didn’t it, but I did like it an awful lot. “If you’re annoyed about it I’ll leave if you want me to.” Matthew thinking the boy only wanted to get his rocks off replied “That’s up to you if you want to leave by all means go.” The younger boy responded. “I asked you if you wanted me to leave and you turn around and say, if I want to. If you can’t make the decision then I’ll make it for the both of us.” Dominic stood up adjusted his clothing and started to walk out of the room. Matthew trying to retrieve the situation called out, “Are you coming back tomorrow?” “Dominic stopped, turned and looked at the boy sitting on the bed. “No point is there, if you think the only reason I come around here is for a wank.” Matthew sprang from the bed walked over to the younger boy grabbed him by the shirt; “If you leave I’ll beat the shit out of you.” “What? “You heard, do you think I’m going to let you go just like that.” He grabbed Dominic who was struggling and lifted him into his arms then carried him to the bed and flopped onto it in a heap. With his arms and legs enveloping the younger boy, he clung to Dominic who had become still as they lay together. The younger boy lifted his head laid it on Matthew’s shoulder then worming his arms free wrapped them around Matthew and squeezed. Matthew smiled he was happy again this is what he wanted just the two of them in each other’s arms. Gently grabbing a fistful of hair on Dominic’s head he brought it around so that he could bring their lips together. The kiss seemed to light a spark between them that Matthew could not resist any longer, he forced his tongue into Dominic’s mouth seeking and finding its partner and proceeded to caress it with his own. “Dominic gasped and broke the kiss, “Oh gosh! I’ve heard about French kissing but never thought that it would be so incredible.” “Matthew laughed again, “That’s something else you’ve learnt, now who’s tutoring who?” Dominic giggled “They say I’m very quick at learning so let me put into practice what I’ve learnt,” as he brought their lips together then lowered his hand to fondle Matthew’s erection. Matthew broke the kiss “No Dominic not yet, let’s just lie here for a bit I like having you in my arms.” “But your hard as rock Matthew.” “So.” “So, let me do something about it.” “The older boy smiled and pecked Dominic on the lips. “Okay but I don’t think I’m going to last very long, so you had better stop fondling me for the time being, stop Dominic stop, Oh God stop or I’m going to do it in my trousers let me take them down first.” Dominic ignored Matthew’s requests to stop and continued to stroke his cock through his clothing, suddenly Mathew stiffened, his hips started jerking uncontrollably as he erupted inside his underwear. As he recovered from Dominic’s administrations Matthew looked at the younger boy, “Oh God that was wonderful but you made me make one helluva mess in my clothes, I’m going to have to go and clean up.” “Can I see it Matthew?” “Alright,” and he lowered his trousers and briefs. “Yike’s the semen looks awful, something like phlegm. “Yeah well you’ll be shooting the same when you’re older, now I’d better clean it up.” “No I’ll do it seeing that I was the cause of it.” Dominic rolled over to the side of the bed and reached the bedside table removed some tissues from the box and started to clean Matthew’s discharge. As he cleaned the now flaccid penis his movements caused it to grow to a semi state of arousal.” “Huh seems like someone’s getting all excited again.” “Yeah, well what do you expect when someone is stroking it instead of cleaning it?” “That’s it I’ve had enough of cleaning,” and Dominic put the tissues aside slipped his tracksuit bottoms and briefs down to his ankles then lay with his rampant member on top of Matthews exposed loins. The older boy wrapped his arms around the diminutive form and squeezed him into his body, as their hips gyrated eager to experience again the pleasures of a few moments ago. Matthew and Dominic, recovering from their second orgasms lay contentedly in each other’s arms enjoying the closeness of their bodies, and wishing that this moment in time would never end. Part 2 The boys spent every moment of their spare time that they could together, the hardest times were at school, when they had to keep their distance and only snatch brief glances at each other. There was of course the occasional brushing against one another when walking in the corridors, or the touching of hands when the opportunity presented itself, but other than that they promoted a picture of indifference towards one another. Two weeks after their first encounter and at the beginning of the third week Dominic was seated at his desk in the maths class. Mr Jenkins walked in looked at Dominic and called him to the front of the class. Matthew watched as Mr Jenkins spoke to Dominic. When he’d finished talking the young boy returned to his desk. Giving Matthew a quick glance and a shrug of the shoulders, he picked up his belongings and strode to the door. Before leaving he turned again and gazed forlornly at Matthew, and from where he sat, Matthew, could see the boy was on the verge of tears. He himself had a lump in his throat as he realised that this was the end of Dominic’s presence in their classroom. Dominic with the instructions given to him made his way to the sixth form. Reaching the class, he tentatively knocked on the door and waited to be given permission to enter. A voice barked, “Enter,” and Dominic did so looking nervously at the teacher. “Ah ha Spencer,” boomed Mr. Perkins, “We’ve been expecting you, find yourself a seat and we can continue with the lesson. Dominic looked around and saw a vacant chair and desk next to a rather large good-looking black-haired boy, whom he knew to be Williams as Matthew had pointed him out in the school grounds. He took his seat glancing at Williams who gave him a smile that put him at ease. So, Dominic settled down to begin his studies in the sixth form. The senior year where boys who passed their “A” level exams with the required grades went on to university. The morning period went by quickly and Dominic was quite at ease, he’d shared the first break talking with Williams, and were now on first name terms with each other. Frank had even bought him a Pepsi, which he guzzled down with relish. One of the privileges of being a sixth former meant that they broke early for lunch before the rest of the school, so they could get their food without having to partake in the stampede that normally took place. It also meant that he had to wait for Matthew to make an appearance. Because of his mother’s financial position Dominic got free meals, but Matthew didn’t bother with school food, he normally went outside the school grounds and bought what he required from the various fast food outlets. Dominic his meal finished sat waiting patiently till eventually Matthew appeared. He stood in the doorway of the cafeteria looking at Dominic, then with a flick of his head indicated for Dominic to follow him. Outside he turned and walked away from the cafeteria with Dominic following at a discreet distance, till Matthew went down a side alley some distance from the school. As soon as Dominic was within arm’s reach Matthew pulled him into his arms and hugged him. “God, it’s been terrible not seeing you in the classroom, how are you?” “Not bad, actually pretty good and Williams has been really nice to me.” “I’m glad to hear it, are you coming over after school this evening.” “No, I can’t, I’ve already been landed with heaps of homework, and I don’t know what’s going to be dished out in the afternoon classes.” “So, I won’t see you after school then.” “Matthew, I’ve already told you why not, you know I’d rather be with you then doing homework.” “Alright, we had better get back to the school otherwise you’re going to be late for your first period.” They returned to the school, and once inside the grounds went their separate ways. At 3.30pm Dominic was walking through the school gates with all the various text books he’d acquired over the course of the day and finding the weight a little too much, he was about to rest them on the wall to ease his aching arms when a voice enquired, “D’you want a hand with them?” Turning he saw Frank Williams standing there with a grin on his face, “Yeah they weigh a ton, not sure if all these text books are really necessary but I was given them all the same.” “Well give me half of them and we can carry them over to my car, then I’ll drive you home.” “You’ve got a car?” “Yes, why not, I’m over seventeen and got my license two months ago, now I drive to school instead of having my dad drop me off.” “Oh, okay let’s go, and thanks a lot.” While Frank drove they chatted till he suddenly said, D’you want to come over to my place later this evening.” “No, I’ve got all this homework to do and by the time I’ve finished it’ll be too late.” “That’s okay, we can do our homework together.” “You sure it won’t be too much trouble.” “No, I tell you what I’ll come and pick you up at about 5.30pm How’s that?” “Great, I’ll be ready for you.” The boys continued their talk till they reached Dominic’s address. Frank helped Dominic with his books to the entrance to the flats then said, “Don’t forget five thirty.” “I won’t, and thanks for the lift and help with the books,” and he made his way into the flats to his apartment. Later that evening around 6pm the doorbell rang and Mrs Spencer opened the door to see Matthew standing there “Matthew, I’m sorry Dominic’s not at home,” Mrs Spencer said, “He went to one of his classmate’s house, but you’re welcome to come in and wait if you want.” “Oh, no thanks Mrs Spencer I’d best be off, see you again sometime.” “Do you want me to give any message to Dominic?” she asked before Matthew could leave. “No, its okay really, see you,” and he left. His stomach churning over with anxiety and thinking that Dominic had lied to him about not being able to come out this evening. He thought, If I hadn’t decided to come over and surprise him I would never have known that he’d gone out. His thoughts were now running riot as he wondered, who was the person Dominic had gone to see, and was he more important to Dominic than himself. Obviously, he preferred to be with the other person,” he summarised, otherwise he wouldn’t have gone out. He walked home struggling with his emotions as his thoughts heaped more misery on his shoulders. Inside the house he went to his room and lay on the bed trying to sort out what was happening to him and where his emotions were leading him. Matthew though only fourteen, was physically very mature he was 5ft 10ins tall and well proportioned. He’d never considered himself anything else but heterosexual, but since meeting Dominic, those beliefs had been put into question. After an hour of thought he’d made up his mind and acted on it, he rose from the bed and made his way to the lounge to confront his father. Seeing his parents watching television Matthew strode over to where his father was seated. Big as he was he squeezed himself by his father’s side saying, “Dad I need to talk to you.” “In here or in my study.” “Over here will do. I umm I want to skip the remainder of the school term, and go to stay with uncle Robert in Kendal, there’s only nine more days to the end of term.” “What’s the problem Matthew, maybe I can help?” “No dad. I need to sit down and have a think about certain events that have taken place these last couple of weeks, and if it’s really what I want to happen. “So, why can’t you do it here?” “That’s one of the problems dad, the distraction is too close at hand.” “I see, if I agreed to your request when would you want to leave for Kendal?” “Tomorrow, you can make excuses for my absence to the school. They’ll accept anything you say, you being one of the board members. You’re going to Scotland tomorrow for your Companies annual golf tournament. I could accompany you, and you can drop me off at Uncle Robert’s place, then continue on your journey.” “I suppose I could do that. But is it really that important and do you have to leave so soon?” “Yes dad, it’s that important.” “Okay, then you had better get upstairs and pack, and I’ll give your Uncle Robert a call to tell him you’ll be staying with him, umm how long do you intend staying Matthew?” “Not sure dad, as soon as I’ve sorted out the problem. I’ll let uncle know and he can bring me back home,” and Matthew dashed out of the room to pack his bags, while his father phoned his elder brother advising him that his nephew would be staying with him for a few days. While Matthew was making his plans, Dominic was seated at a table in Frank’s bedroom finishing off his homework. Franks house was not as big or impressive as Matthews but all the same it was a lot better than his council flat. When they’d finished their homework, Frank asked the younger boy if he wanted anything to eat or drink. Dominic politely declined the offer then asked, “Are you very friendly with Matthew?” “Do you mean Blake?” “Yes.” “Why do you ask?” “Just wanted to know, because he spoke about you.” “Well not really, my dad happens to work for his father. I’ve been over to their house a couple of times on social occasions, but that’s about all. Mind you Matthew is really nice very polite, and doesn’t flaunt his father’s wealth.” “Yeah, I know what you mean, I didn’t realize how rich they were till I went there.” “You’ve been to his house.” Realising his mistake Dominic quickly tried to recover the situation by saying, “Oh yes, he wanted me to help him in some studies after class.” “You don’t have to try and cover up Dominic, if there is one thing that I know about Matthew, is he wouldn’t want any tutoring in his studies. He happens to be one of the cleverer boys in his class. I know from seeing him win awards at end of year prize giving ceremonies.” “Well we just got friendly when I was in his class.” “Do the two of you wank?” “What?” “Come on Dominic don’t act stupid, when you talked about Matthew you seemed like you were in a different world, and by the look on your face the answer is yes.” “I’ve got to get home.” ”Don’t be like that Dominic, I’m not going to think badly of you. Actually, I wouldn’t mind if we gave each other a bit of release.” “I’m I umm.” “Don’t ooh and ahh Dominic, I got a hard on just talking about it, have a feel.” Frank walked over to the boy took his hand and placed it on his erection. Dominic couldn’t resist, he started to fondle the older boy’s erection which brought moans of pleasure from Frank’s lips. “Stop a minute Dominic,” and he pulled away from the boy, he went to the door locked it then returned to the bed to where Dominic was waiting. “Take your trousers down,” Frank told the boy as he walked towards him, at the same time removing his own clothing. Dominic who had lowered his clothing stood by the bed watched as Frank exposed his erection for the first time. It was bigger and thicker than Matthew’s. Frank lay on the bed Dominic sat beside him and eagerly wrapped his hand around it feeling the hardness and girth of the biggest penis he’d ever seen. While he stroked Frank’s cock the same was being done to him by the older boy. He could feel the pleasure mounting in his loins and looked at Frank’s face to see him lying with his eyes closed moaning as he neared orgasm. Dominic was the first to reach his dry climax, at the same time Frank wrapped his hand around the hand that was on his cock, and started to increase the speed. Suddenly he stiffened and moaned, “I’m going to cum.” then thrust his hips upwards. His semen shot out to land just about midway up his body, then start to dribble over their hands. They remained motionless on the bed recovering from their exertions, “God I needed that. It’s been bloody ages since I’ve had other than my own hand on my cock,” Frank announced. Later as they both dressed Frank turned to Dominic and said, “Please don’t say anything about this to anyone, otherwise I could be in big trouble.” “I’m not stupid Frank, I know what the law is, and you didn’t force me into doing it, so you don’t have to worry.” “Thanks Dominic, that felt really nice, we could always do it again if you want to.” “I don’t think so Frank, it was okay but I think once is enough.” “What’s the problem, I’m not going to ask you to do anything else, only wank me and I’ll do the same for you.” “No, I don’t want to Frank, isn’t that a good enough reason.” Frank looked at the slender young boy whose eyes were watery on the verge of tears, “I understand Dominic, I can see the reason why, its Matthew isn’t it?” “No, it isn’t it’s just that I umm,” and the tears burst forth as he felt the guilt of his betrayal of Matthew. “Frank put an arm around the slender young shoulders of the younger boy, “Dominic come on stop your crying, you haven’t done anything wrong, it was all my fault. I was the one who took advantage of you, and led you into what took place. Now go and wash your face then I’ll take you home.” With feelings of regret at what had happened he made his way to the bathroom sniffing he thought, Please God, don’t let Matthew find out what I did. Next day Dominic was up early and standing outside the school gates waiting for Matthew to arrive. He waited until it was time for assembly and still no Matthew, glumly he turned and made his way to classes. All day at every chance he had he looked for Matthew, until he ran Brian during the meal break, and asked him if he had seen Mathew. “No, he hasn’t come to school today, must be down with a cold or something, he’ll most probably be back tomorrow.” Dominic moped around the rest of the day, not taking a lot of interest in his lessons till the bell went for end of school. For once he dashed out of the classroom and headed for home as fast as he could. Arriving home he yelled to his mum that he was going over to Matthew’s house as he dashed to his room to get changed. He was stopped in his tracks when she reminded him that they were going over to visit her mother. “Oh mum, can’t we go tomorrow I have to go and see Matthew.” No, we can’t, you know your grandmother would have cooked for all of us, now go and get changed, and no arguments.” Bloody Hell! He thought as he went to his room. Everything is going bloody wrong, what else can happen, now I’ll have to wait till tomorrow to see him. Next morning Dominic was once again at the school gates early and like the day before no Matthew. This time at the earliest opportunity he spoke to one of Matthew’s friends to ask about him, and was given the same information as yesterday, that he was sick. This time after school he asked Frank if he would drop him off at Matthew’s house. When they arrived Frank asked, “Do you want me to wait, I can take you home afterwards.” “No thanks Frank, I’m not sure how long I’ll be staying.” Frank drove off and Dominic made his way up the drive to the front door. He rang the bell and Matthew’s mother opened the door. “Afternoon Mrs Blake, can I see Matthew.” “I’m sorry Dominic, didn’t you know, he’s gone to the Lake District, Kendal, to be exact.” “Oh no I didn’t, when did he go.” “Yesterday, do you want to come in?” “Uh no I’d better get home, I’ll see you later Mrs Blake. He left feeling confused and wondering, why Matthew would go away without informing him, and what was the reason for his leaving. It couldn’t be about anything that he had done, he thought. Matthew couldn’t know about what had taken place with Frank because he had left the next day. As he made his way home he anxiously wracked his mind as to what could have made Matthew leave so suddenly. When he reached home his mother confronted him as to why he was late arriving. “I went over to see Matthew, he hasn’t been to school for the last two days. It was a waste of time though he wasn’t there, he’s gone to the Lake District. He didn’t even bother to tell me he was going.” “Oh, maybe that’s why he came over on Monday evening when you had gone out. To tell you he was leaving but as you weren’t here he didn’t bother.” “What, why didn’t you tell me that Matthew came over?” Because I asked him if he wanted to leave a message and he said no. He was surprised that you weren’t in, and just said goodbye and left.” Dominic’s mind flashed back to Monday when he’d told Matthew, he couldn’t see him after school because of the amount of homework he had. Then that same evening he’d gone to Frank’s house. As he made his way to his room the realisation struck him. That Matthew must have thought that he’d lied on purpose, just so he could go out with someone else. He lay on his bed and thoughts of him and Matthew’s days together flooded his mind. Then he realised, that if Matthew didn’t come back before the end of term it would be about two months before he saw him again. He jumped up from the bed ran to his mother. “Mum can I go to Matthew’s house I need to talk to his parents.” “Dominic you’ve just come from there, they might not want you disturbing them again.” “Muuummm please, I promise I won’t annoy them pleeeeease.” “Okay but don’t be long, be back before 8pm.” A quick kiss on his mother’s cheek and he was gone, taking the stairs two at a time he was soon out and running along the road towards Matthew’s house. Again, he rang the front doorbell, but this time it was Mr Blake who answered the door. “Hello Dominic, come in.” “Thank you, Mr Blake, can I speak to you for a moment.” “Yes, what was it you wanted to discuss.” “Not discuss Mr Blake, just wanted to know if you can give me the telephone number at the place that Matthew has gone to stay.” “Alright Dominic,” and he gave Dominic the phone number that he’d requested. “Do you wish to speak to Matthew now? I was just about to phone him.” “Oh yes please Mr Blake.” “Okay come into the lounge,” and Dominic did what was requested of him. He stood by Mr Blake as he dialled the number and anxiously waited for his turn on the phone. Mr Blake spoke with his elder brother first, who’d told him that Matthew had been moping around the house all day and didn’t seem to be taking an interest in anything, he asked him to hang on as he handed the phone to Matthew. “Hi dad.” “Hello son, I hear you’ve not been up to your old tricks like you normally get up to when in Kendal.” “I’m okay dad honest, I am just having a think about something.” “Alright but try and get your thoughts sorted out as quickly as possible, we want you back home soon son.” “I promise dad, I’ll talk to you again soon.” “Matthew before you go, there’s someone here who wants to talk to you.” “Who dad?” Mr Blake handed the phone over to Dominic. “Matthew.” “He was stunned to hear that soft unbroken voice call his name.” Not getting an answer Dominic spoke again, “Matthew are you there.” “Yes Dominic, I was just surprised for a minute when I heard your voice.” “Matthew will you please come home, I miss you so much please Matthew, please.” “Oh God Dominic, I ran away because of you. I just couldn’t believe how I felt when I went to your house and you weren’t in. The feelings I had were very worrying, I was angry, and sad, and everything all sort of jumbled up together. So, I decided to come here and sort of think it out. “You’ve had two days Matthew, you must have come to some sort of decision by now.” “I have Dominic, but I’m not sure how you’ll react to it. I won’t come back till the school term has ended.” “That’s not fair, what about me, you’ve buggered off without saying a word, and left me wondering what had happened. Didn’t you even think of telling me what you were going to do, or were you just thinking of yourself and to hell with me.” There was silence at the other end. “Matthew say something.” Matthew was astounded at the anger in Dominic’s voice, and the accusations thrown at him, which were partially true, and for the moment he was startled and left speechless. “Matthew if you don’t say something I’ll put the phone down.” “Dominic, I love you.” T B C
  12. Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over. The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, Nope, ain't Stanley The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over. The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, No, it ain't Stanley The mortician asked, How can you tell? Gomer said, Well, Stanley had two assholes. "What! He had two assholes? asked the mortician. Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, "There's Stanley with them two assholes. Cooter and Gomer are both now employed in the FBI investigating Trump.
  13. bilal

    Don't Judge Others

  14. bilal


    Been there, done that, so know exactly what he's talking about
  15. bilal

    Irish Prostitute

    THE IRISH An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother through?' The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.' 'Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.' 'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in The Riviera.' 'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad. Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!.' 'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death girl, I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!! 'Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death girl, I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!!