Test results, today. Bad news - I'm gonna keep on tickin', so it looks like I'll have to actually do that pile of homework that's been building up next to...that other pile of homework that's been building up.
The doc says I'm good. Apparently, the chest pain was left over inflammation from that case of e-Syph...er, strep, that I'd had earlier. The arrhythmia is harmless. All it does is make my pulse speed up and slow down a little at random intervals, rather than holding a steady beat.
That's
So, I got out of school last week. Looks like I'm still maintaining a 4.0.
I started summer semester this week. I need to take five classes over the summer and 5 over the fall to graduate on schedule. I've never taken a full load over the summer, before. It's insane. All the summer classes are accelerated - a whole semester's worth of work, compressed into ten weeks. Papers and projects and gobs of reading due every day. One of my classes is double-accelerated - two four hour long classes a wee
Just got back from the doctor. Turns out I'm having some heart arrhythmia, and they can't figure out why. I'm due for an EKG on Wednesday.
The last couple days, I've had to pop some aspirins to stop the chest pain it's been giving me. Those things thinned out my blood, so I can't stop bleeding from where I nicked myself shaving (and from the hole they punched through my arm to give me the ol' Transylvania treatment) . Now I'm covered in band-aids - it looks like I lost a Camp Sissyboy Slap-n-S
So, you might have noticed, but I kinda vanished from the face of the internet for the last couple of weeks. Couple reasons for it. First, the semester's coming to a close, which means all those projects/papers that I've been putting off...well, they can't be put off any longer. As such, I'm working double-time in the research department, and have more or less established one corner of the college library as mine. To the point where people go there to look for me, before trying me at home or cal
I tend to go to the gym in the morning. This is because I, in general, run on two speeds - Stoic and Ridonkulous - and running a few miles or lifting until my muscles give out is the quickest way to shift out of Ridonkulous mode in preparation for work/school.
It's usually pretty empty in the mornings. Today, though, it was busy. Turns out they were using it as a set for some kind of fitness video. As I was leaving the locker room after suiting up, one of the trainers grabbed me and said "Hey,
I swear, Ohio sucks at holding elections. We just make it hard on ourselves every single time. Miscounted votes, glitchy machines, too-close-to-call margins, extensions, and now running out of ballots at polling sites? Jeez.
A friend of mine (a registered independent) was actually told that he wasn't allowed to vote, even though it's an open primary. He argued with the poll worker for over an hour before he gave up and found another polling site. You know, one where the workers read the newspap
Professor Layton has joined the ranks of my personal list of fictional heroes. As a logic tutor at college, I can't help but love the fact that there's a video game protagonist who fights crime by solving logic puzzles, whose catchphrase is "Critical thinking is the key to success!", and who is also a total badass. Just look at him (on the right).
I also like the fact that he dresses just like me. All I need is a taller hat, and I'd make a right proper gent.
Now, pardon me for a second, beca
I found out that my co-workers, boss, and supervisor have been using a nickname for me: "Mr. USA". The USA stands for "Undercover Smart-Ass". One of my co-workers explained it to me like this: "People always say, 'Oh, Civil's so quiet and shy', and I'm like, 'Wow, you've obviously never worked with him.' And I've got to explain, like, 'He's not being quiet, he's got comedic timing, and he's waiting for a set-up.' But that takes a while, so now we just say you're an Undercover Smart-Ass."
She's
Plans for celebrating New Year's Eve:
Step one: Strip to the skin.
Free yourself of the trappings of the dying year. To have nothing between you and the fresh embrace of the new solar cycle.
Step two: Throw open a window.
Feel the breath of the new year on your skin. Also, ventilation for step three.
Step three: Set fire to the previous year's calender.
Part with the previous year, setting it to rest on your own terms. All anxieties, fears, doubts, and sufferings of the previous year are s
"Haji was a punk
Just like any other boy
And he never had no trouble
'Til he started up his oi band
Safe in the garage
Or singing in the tub
Till Haji went too far
And he plugged in at the pub.
'Twas a cold Christmas Eve
When Trevor and the skins
Popped in for a pint
And to nick a bag of crisps
Trevor liked the music
But not the unity
He unwound Haji's turban
And he knocked him to his knees.
If god came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what he'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punk
So, this guy asked me to write an intro to his paper on The Great Gatsby for him. I've never read the book, but I did it anyway. Here's what I gave him:
It all started in 1942, when Private Johnny "Slick Hips" Gatsby of the 142nd Armored Tank Division awoke in his barracks and said "What this war needs is a little soul, see?" He immediately began dismantling the weapons and turning them into jazz instruments. The German war machine stood no chance against the funky acid tunes and swinging mid
When I was five, I got to meet the Ninja Turtles on the forth of July.
I was thoroughly confused when I noticed that Donatello (my favorite) was carrying what looked like a hunk of PVC pipe instead of his wooden bo staff. I got the distinct impression that these weren't REALLY the Ninja Turtles at all. That, and that their lumbering, felt-covered forms lacked the ninja-like fluidity that I had come to expect. I was glad they were trying, but I remember thinking that if we were to get attacke
My dad's funeral was on Saturday.
Our relationship was...unusual. If you've read Fistfights With Flashlights, you know what I mean. Beyond that, we just didn't "get" each other. Over the last few years, the longest conversations we had were arguments. We could go at it like you wouldn't believe, for hours at a time. It was really our main mode of communication. But...that worked for us. Most people didn't get that, but that's how it was - we'd always come out of those arguments with more respec
My schedule has been INSANE for the past couple weeks. It goes like this:
Wake up at 5:00 am. Shower, shave, breakfast, etc. - the whole morning routine.
Leave home at 7:00 am. Drive for a solid hour to an out-of-district middle school.
Teach 7th graders about physical science until 3:30.
Drive an hour and a half to college.
Sit in class until 10:00 pm.
Drive an hour to get back home.
Write lesson plans and do homework for the next two hours.
Wake up at 5:00 am and repeat.
Teaching is f
There's a big Periodic Table of Elements in the science wing of my school. Having not pranked anything recently, I decided that it looked like a good target. I printed up a fake element square, using all the accurate information for Aluminum, but changed the name to Al-Bundium. I made the switch a few days ago, taping the fake square over the real one, and it's still up there. I'm thinking of replacing an element with a sitcom character every couple days, and seeing how long it takes before some
I spent the last two weeks in the field - student teaching, that is. Loved it. Kicked asses and took names...in a professional, educational kind of way.
I've been on the edge of self-destruct mode for the past week. Between two jobs, night classes, student teaching all day, lesson-planning, and other assorted homework (TONS of physical science essays - I've done 30 pages so far, with no end in sight), I've been getting less and less sleep, leaving me to maintain consciousness by force of will a
Ever seen the Chevy Chase movie "Funny Farm"? There's a scene where he sits down at his typewriter to start work on his novel. He types the word "The" and then stares at it for a while. That's where I've been for the last couple months. I'd carve out some time in my schedule for writing, sit down at the keyboard, and write "The".
Well, yesterday, I wrote seven pages all in one shot. I'm hoping to finish out the chapter today (no promises, of course).
So, who gets the credit for breaking my wri
The other day at work, my favorite customer came in. She's incredibly sarcastic and candid. Most people who work there get offended by her, but myself and a couple others think she's the best. She was arguing with my supervisor and one of the other work-studies. I was hanging around reading poetry (Maya Angelou, specifically) when she looks over at me and says "Why do you guys even keep him around? What good is he?"
The other work study says, "Well...he doesn't do much, but he's fun to look at.
First, I've got running water. That may not sound like much, but I've been without running water for the last week. No toilets, no sinks, no showers. It smelled like a locker room, since nobody could bathe or shave or do laundry. I showered at the gym, and eventually I got sick of my half-assed beard and shaved in a nearby creek in the woods (I never felt more like Thoreau). But now I can shower at home again! And drink water! God, I missed drinking water!
Second, I'm back in school. Turns out
I got drilled and filled today. My tooth, that is.
Man, I used to think going to the dentist felt masochistic, but now that I don't have insurance, it's even worse. "Here's two hundred dollars. NOW HURT ME, DOC, AND DON'T STOP 'TIL YOU'RE OFF THE CLOCK!"
Anyway, I don't know if it's the gas or the fact that I'm leaning back with all the blood rushing to my head, but I always seem to get the urge to sing when I'm in the dentist's chair. When I got my wisdom teeth yanked, I got through three ren
Some shady dude offered me a job a few days ago. Okay, not shady, but extremely polished and corporate-looking, which always comes off as shady to me (he was wearing a TIE). I'm pretty sure it was some kind of scam. He walks up to me in a store and starts chatting me up - what do I do for a living, am I "keeping my options open", etc., and tells me that he's in charge of expansion for his company and that they're looking for some employees. "Not worried about the knowledge part," he says, "We ca
A friend of mine came over late last night to borrow an Xbox controller. He comes into my room and says, in a conspiratorial voice, "You ready to deal?"
Now, I know that he's referencing the fact that everyone tends to assume that we're drug dealers. This is because we act fairly strangely and both grew up in a neighborhood in which all of our peers became drug dealers/burned out meth-heads/suicides.
Playing along, I say "Oh, would you like to purchase some drugs? I'm accepting PayPal, now!" T
I got my Praxis scores back:
Reading - 186 out of 190
Math - 182 out of 190
Writing - 182 out of 190
Passed!
I was hanging out with some friends the other night, playing some Geometry Wars. We're all really competitive with each other, so it's the perfect game for us. It was my turn, so I went to sit on the couch. There was one other guy on the couch, and he was sitting right in the middle, so I had to squeeze in next to him. I turn to him and say "Move over a bit, man, this is awkward." He
I was digging through some stuff the other day and I came across a notebook from my sophomore year in high school. It contained a play that I wrote for Drama class, which was banned from being performed because...well, it's excessively violent, sacrilegious, and it didn't have enough parts for the whole class. But, hey, if you're interested in seeing some of my earliest recorded work, read on. Reproduced for the first time since 10th grade...
Sergio the Pope
::The Pope's office. The P
The sun was hot, the breeze was cool, the music was loud, and my sleeves were short. Yes, that's right...a perfect day to have to go and take a three hour written test.
I took the Praxis I test, yesterday. That's the first of three tests that you need to pass to get a teaching certification.
Praxis I tests you in reading, writing, and math.
Praxis II tests you in your specialized content areas (English and science, for me) and pedagogy.
Praxis III is an in-class evaluation, where they come a
