Today, I was studying for a final and putting together a professional development portfolio. At the same time, I was doing laundry. I'm a laundry procrastinator - I wait until ALL of my clothes are dirty before washing. The problem being, I've got no clothes to wear while the rest are in the wash.
So, I'm working frantically, pulling papers from all over to put this portfolio together, all the while trying to weigh them down so that the fan doesn't blow them away, because it's 90 degrees inside the house and we've got no air conditioning. I'm wearing a pair of purple boxers and my bones shirt - a black shirt with a glow-in-the-dark ribcage on it that I used for part of a Halloween costume back in 3rd grade - when I hear a knock at the door.
I'm thinking of just ducking under the window and pretending I'm not home, but then I remember that I was supposed to sign for some deliveries, and that might be them.
I open up the door, and it's my former roommate. He looks me up and down, says "Huh," and shrugs.
I say, "Man, I'm glad it's you, or this could've been awkward."
He shakes his head. "No, no, it's plenty awkward on this end."
"We lived together for a year and a half. How are you not used to this?"
"It's not the boxers. It's the purple."
"The purple...I keep seeing it out of the corner of my eye, and, I don't know, my brain says 'Hey, purple? What's that?' and then my eyes are like 'Oh, we'd better check it out!' and then I'm thinking 'No, no, don't look at his crotch,' but by then it's too late!"
"...Well, now you've gone and made it awkward."
"He was the roommate from hell! His name was Lucifer.
Someone call the priest, bring the crucifer.
He was the roommate from hell! Leaves his pitchfork in my bed.
I'm in a Satanic panic 'cause he is messin' with my head!"
-"Roommate from Hell" by MC Lars (ft. MC Chris)