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I want to cry



When I was young, until I was about twelve or thirteen, I used to cry a lot. When I say a lot, I mean a lot. At the drop of a hat. I don't think I ever cried infront of my peers and friends, but at home I'd be howling at the unfairness of whatever it was that was unfair at that moment in time.

Now I can't, and I WANT TO. Badly.

There must have been a pivotal moment in my life that caused me to stop. But I can't think of one specifically. I went to boarding school (where you'd rather cut your leg off than be caught crying) and I'm British which means that I'm probably genetically repressed, but I want it, and I need it, and yet I still can't.

God is that unfair.

</self pity>


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Camy,I don't know you other than what I see here at AD and Codey's.Neither am I a psychiatrist or guru of any kind. They would probably tell you to go back in your mind to the last good cry you had and let it all out.I am descended from the English, Welsh and Scottish peoples, so I sort of think of myself as British, with a quirky Aussie twist of fate.I certainly empathise with your situation as I suffered similarly when I was younger.What I can tell you is that as I read your "I want to Cry" post, I didn't care if you are 16 or 60, were from outer space or the Internet, I just wanted to offer my shoulder and let you know it is okay for tears to come.

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There are a number of things that may be causing this 'problem', and one might be medical. I would experiment with a good dose of onion to see if you can get tears that way. If so, at least you've eliminated one possible problem.Crying is a release, but it is based on a psychological acceptance of your lot, your situation. If you don't want to accept it, mentally, you basically go into denial, and you don't cry. I suspect that you are also not allowing yourself to feel emotional at a sad movie, either.I don't know how to help you. If I have such a thing happen, and it's not often, I need to listen to melancholy music. Enya, Libera, even Nana Mouskouri works for this. Haunting sadness and eternal painful losses is the image I need to get really totally down. The other thing that works, but is much harder to achieve, is for someone totally loving to hold me, with the odd wisp of a kiss, soothing murmur and gentle stroking of my hair and neck. Like Des, I offer my shoulder, and encourage you to just 'let it all out'.

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Oh I can cry, and yes, onions do it, as do movies. The end of 'Titanic', the end of 'Pay It Forward', 'E.T' etc. Tears I can manage, I just can't manage them when I want them - if that make any kind of sense.My Boyfriend, on the other hand, cry's like a baby (big wuss :razz: ); and, and, and... grrr.Dunno. I don't want to have to peel onions when I want a good wail, you know?Thanks for the shoulders. They're much appreciated. Honestly.Camy

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Hey Camy,It's been my experience that creative souls rarely cry. Maybe it's because we pour our heart and emotions into music, manuscripts, and so on. It's like we give so much emotion into our creative outlet, we have none left for our own use. Which is why we muscians, writers, and such are so difficult to live with. I know there are times when I would rather hang out with my characters than with real people. Jason R.PS: My boyfriend thinks I'm emotionally bankrupt because I don't cry at sad movies. Though I always make him feel better afterwards. :razz:

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