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That Notebook



A blog.

Yes, kind of like a diary. Except I choose to make this one public. And if you're wondering, I do keep a diary in my room. Secretly That thick notebook would get me in a world of trouble if someone ever manage to read a page of it. I'm into my second notebook now actually. I started Christmas of 2006 and I only missed two days because I was burning with a fever. It helped me a lot. It was where I vented all of my frustrations. It was where I cursed, cried, screamed, ranted, went ballistic, and laughed my heart out.

There was only a little more than five months recorded in that notebook, but I never knew a lot of things could happen in only that span of time. Or maybe I just really have an eventful year this time around. Still, when I read that notebook, I couldn't help but chastise myself for not starting sooner. It took a New Year's resolution to actually make me sit down and just write what went on during the day, although I did start earlier by a few days. Just excited I guess.

I wonder what would happen if someone finds out about that notebook. They would find out how much I resent my parents, how much I think the weather (yeah, boring) is really getting hotter than hell these days, they would find out how I have a death wish on one of my former professors. Please, the world doesn't need him. And they would find out how confused I am with my feelings for my best friend. You must be thinking 'uh oh, here it comes.' But I really am confused. A lot of stories would tell me that I'm in love, but how would I know what love is? I have never been serious with anyone before. A lot of times I ask myself if I love him but the only answer I could come up with was 'I don't know.' Not yes. Not no. But I don't know.

Got sidetracked there for a while. I was talking about the damn notebook. A lot of people would probably hate me if that notebook would ever become public because I wrote my feelings about them as I honestly could. It's not supposed to be known anyway, after all, it's a private property. It's just that recently, I have reason to believe that someone is going through the things in my room including that notebook. Or maybe I'm just a little paranoid. But I did wrote in that notebook, "I hope whoever other than me is reading this would fall down the stairs." So far, nobody has.


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I have 'journals' too, though I tend to be lackadaisical about writing regularly. What's odd - as far as I'm concerned - is how my handwriting has changed. There have been times when it's been quite good and readable, and times when it's a bloody scrawl.There's something ultimately personal about a handwritten journal, and I'd hate others to get their hands on mine. That's why I started blogging. It's me, but it's not.Nice to see you blogging, Rad.Camy :razz:

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Welcome, sir, to your blog. First, if someone's reading your journal they are beneath contempt. Lock it up somewhere. Second, I'm curious about how old you are.Third, if it's love you'll know. If you aren't sure it's not. Many people mix love and infatuation (or love and other things). The younger you are the more common it is, hence my previous inquiry.

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:hiya: Good blogging to you. :icon6: An excellent first blog.On the subject of knowing when you are in love:It is easy to tell when you are in love, because your partner will slap you on the backside and then tell you, "You're in, Love." :lipssealed:
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It is easy to tell when you are in love, because your partner will slap you on the backside and then tell you, "You're in, Love." :lipssealed:
Yeah, right. :icon6:
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Yo Camy,Not to brag, but my handwriting's always been good. A lot of my classmates even suspected I was gay before because I write like a girl. I set them straight, don't worry.-----Heya Raccoon,I actually detailed in my journal what I would do if ever I catch who's going through it. Stephen King would be put to shame. Hehe. I don't mean any of it, I swear. But I guess, I could never erase that from my journalMy age? I'm in my last year of being a teenager, and it makes me feel quite old. -----Hey Des,"I'm in, Love."I like you already!

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Thanks for answering but where's my comment?
I'm also wondering about that. :lipssealed: I can see it in my monitor but it's kinda highlighted or something and your name isn't included with the ones who made a comment. Even your latest comment (this one) is the same.
Did you delete because I shit in your shoes or something? :)
**checking my shoes**Why did you do that IN my shoes? :icon6: Now I have to walk around barefoot... and that's more dangerous because you're not the only one who left their droppings here. :hiya:
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I am not sure why it happened, but both of WBMS comments showed up as highlighted with an "approve" button next to the delete button.I reasoned I could see them because I have some moderator powers that enabled me to see them, so clicked on approve and they now appear as normal i.e. not highlighted. Can you all see Wibby's comments now? I also clicked on the "shoe clean" button but I think all it did was to give the outside of the shoes a nice shine. :lipssealed:

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Haha. Wibby, I mean Raccoon, no problem. I'll bring my rattiest shoes here for you to shit on, I mean in, anytime you want.

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Haha. Wibby, I mean Raccoon, no problem. I'll bring my rattiest shoes here for you to shit on, I mean in, anytime you want.
Sorry but with permission it loses all appeal :)
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Now you've gone and done it rad. Not only did you approve Wibby's post, you gave him permission to shit in your shoes. Have you ever heard the expression, give an inch and they take a mile. Well, now that damn raccoon has shit in my shoes as well. Thanks a lot. My three hundred dollar loafers. *sits down and starts checking all my shoes*Jason R.

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Wibby, Jason,I just saw your comments now. I don't know why they need to be approved. Do your comments have underlying illegal messages?

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I believe, if you have the settings for the blog set to require approval, then nobody can post 'permanently' without each blog comment being authorized by the blog owner, OR one of the moderators. Before getting moderator status here, I never had any of my comments to Jason's blog appear until he had approved them. Since I have received moderator status, this has not happened to me, and I can only assume that this status gives greater rights than just editing someone else's posts. It seems to allow one to bypass ALL the security features.I would suggest RADsteven, that you check your blog settings.

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I never wrote a journal, but at pivotal moments in my life I would sometimes write a small note, expressing my feelings, and seal it into an envelope, with a notation on the outside: do not open until after 19__. I was guessing at the number of years it would take me to overcome the bad feelings. Most of those notes have now been opened, read, the resolution accepted, and destroyed. There is still one, which, while opened several times, has been resealed for future review. Since I have now discovered my orientation, and accepted it, I can be sure that the next time I open this envelope I will be able to destroy it.

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