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Meh 4,271


Camy

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Meh 4,271

Why are all my blog entries so ... depressing? I'm not normally a depressed person, but then I suppose there is no normality to my life any more. I feel like I'm drifting - oh for a boat - and have entered the doldrums. The sails are up, but *insert deity of choice* has switched of the wind. The fucker.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. That's all I can think of. And I'm sooooo tempted to pack a bag, and vanish. Yeah right. Not like it's going to happen. But the thought is like a lifeline. The idea that I could. Disappear.

When I was small I read George Orwell's 'Down and out in Paris and London.' It's a wonderful, wonderful book - provided you're reading it with a full stomach, in a cosy room, with a warm drink to hand. I also read 'The Autobiography of a Super Tramp'. The idea is rather appealing ... but the actuality. Maybe twenty years ago.

Maybe tomorrow ....

I just do not know. And there lies the problem. I'm surrounded by idiots, but the biggest idiot looks back at me from the mirror. I should never have given up drugs. At least they dull the constant yearning for ...? Yep. The grass is always greener.

So, I'm going to have another go at NaNoWriMo. If anyone feels up to taking part I can honestly say it's BIG FUN!

Now, I'm off to steal a kiss from my beloved ... hmm ... take a kiss? Have a kiss? Kiss? Whatever. It'll be nice.

Camy

PS if you haven't read Jason Rimbaud's 'The Finale', then do. It's excellent, though sad.

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I know it wouldn't be of much comfort. But I've felt like this too, can't count how many times. Just pack up and disappear, run away from it all. The only question stopping me is "where will I go?" And I don't have much money too. :confused:

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The problem with running away from it all is, when you get to your destination, you'll still be you. And that's ultimately what you're running from.Midlife crisis? I don't know anyone who's passed that period and hasn't sunk into the doldrums. We see life passing us by, see fewer possibilities ahead, realize our time is finite, regret chances we never took, opportunities that slipped away. But Camy, you have too polished a sense of humor, a sense of the ironic, to let this get you too far down. You're far too intelligent to allow your emotions tear you apart like this. This too will pass. It's simply up to you to make sure it happens.For all our sakes. Where would we be if we didn't have to wade daily through the Emu poo?C

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