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situation


rauch4322

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Hey, sorry for not keeping an update for you guys. I have a lot of things going on, including all of the crap at home. First, I am glad to say that Tara is making a good progress, but it is not great, though. Tara finally poured her feelings to Dr. G and he is helping her to get through it. I am so glad that she considered talking to Dr. G about her feelings. Tara will continue having an appointment with Dr. G until when she is sure that she is better. The prom is coming up and I will wait for the right time to ask Tara to go with me as friends or maybe as a date. Who knows? I am NOT rushing to ask Tara to be my girlfriend. Ok, moving on, many of you read my last entry on Ryan?I apologize that I gave you very little information on Ryan, it?s just that I wasn?t ready to tell you guys about the situation until I am sure that I am comfortable to tell you guys. Anyways, some of you gave me comments about that Ryan is upset that I left him for a girl, and you are on the right track. Ryan was pissed that he was left for a girl. What can I do? I am a bi, for God?s sake. Not only that I am into boys, but also into girls, as well. He knew that, and yet he made things worse. This ?dumped him for a girl? reason is not the major one why I broke up with him?However, 'dumped him for a girl' has to do very little with why I dumped him. Ryan has that worst attitude towards me before we broke up. He actually was a different person from the beginning we were dating. He was sweet and nice back then. But now... I can?t take his attitude anymore, that?s one of the main reasons why I dumped him. Ryan had hurt me, not in an abusive way, but like hurting my feelings and stuff like that. Don't get me wrong, I do care about Ryan. I am worried about his attitude and want to help him to change his attitude. But, I can't right now, because he had caused a lot of problems for me. I can?t believe what Ryan had told my parents. This caused a lot of problems between my parents and me. Ryan had told my parents that I cheated on him and I had slept with someone behind his back. Wow...He actually made this sounds real to my parents. I mean?WHAT THE ________?! What he said isn?t true and it?s really pissing me off. He did this because I dumped him and have feelings for Tara. God, didn?t he realized that the main reason is his attitude, not Tara, that made me to dump him? My parents actually took Ryan?s words and believed him. My parents told me that I am not allowed to bring anybody while they are not around. God, why didn?t they realize that I am not sleeping with anybody?! It?s like that my parents don?t trust me. What hurts me the most is that my parents didn?t believe their OWN son. At least, Matt and Tyler (my brothers) support me during this crisis. Dinner times were the worst, because my parents and I were arguing about this a lot. God, Ryan is such a liar and I can?t believe that he made it sounds all true to my parents. I can?t stand being at home with my parents anymore. On the spring break (I will have one in next week), I am going to Matt?s apartment to stay for one week. It is an hour away from my hometown, and I need some time away from my parents and all of these crap. Also, some of my friends and other relatives support me, as well. I am lucky that I have plenty of people for a support if I am in a trouble. If things r not getting any better after my spring break, I will go stay with my uncle and aunt who live close to me until my parents and I are getting on better terms. Paul and Peter (my cousins) are excited to have me over. :shock: Any advices how to make my parents to believe me? I don?t think so, since obviously, my parents and I are not on the best term right now. I am staying at Matt?s apartment for one week, and we will see how things go from there. Today, I had the big argument with my dad, and he got on my nerves by talking about trust, right judgement on a person's actions and morals. It's like that he was lecturing me if I did anything wrong. :stare: Ty told me that things will blow over and will be normal again. I doubt that. In fact, I think it will take some time to get things back to normal. Ok, there, you know it all. Hopefully, the next entry will be better...If not...then I will need your support. Wish me luck.

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The way I read it, your parents knew you were going with Ryan, which means you must have told them you are either gay or bi. They obviously know that you've broken things off with Ryan, whether from you telling them or Ryan telling them. Is it not possible for you to simply ASK them why they believe Ryan's version of what happened, and not YOUR version? Why would they believe the 'dumped' person? Everyone knows the dumpee is the one with the grudge.A wise man told me that whether it seems like it or not, nobody really likes an argument or a fight. What one needs to do is figure out how to resolve the problem (which it seems to me is more that your parents need to believe you over Ryan than your issue with Ryan) without getting into a fight. If your dad seems to be lecturing you about responsibility, getting screaming mad at him for the implied (or direct) insult doesn't help anything. Maybe agreeing that responsibility is a serious matter, and then following it with a request to talk about these issues calmly, might work out better. Take the wind out of his sails by agreeing, then asking for his responsible advice. Who knows, it might even be good advice, and it can't make it any worse than the frustration you're having now.Good luck.

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...there are always miscommunications, so it is as they say, "wise", to not make conflict over what you hear someone else say - it's a good way to blow things up, if what they say evokes emotions - let the emotions go, because those emotions will just create so much conflict if you let them compel you.
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