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The Last On Nathaniel


Richard Norway

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Well, this will be probably my last thoughts on Nathaniel. He's moved on and is emerging into his 'self.' It's hard to let go of someone that you love, but I guess all parents have to go through it. Yes, he has became my son, if not legally, at least emotionally. Nathaniel and his bf moved out a week before Christmas into their first apartment. It's funny, but as much as I hated his adolescent illogical behavior and total irresponsibility, I miss having to remind him of things that he had to do.

Yes, he has become my 'son,' and I still worry about whether he's getting to school on time, watching his budget enough, etc., but I know that I have to keep away and not interfere. They still have no transportation and David (his bf) takes the bus to work. Nathaniel doesn't work as David thinks he needs to put his energies into his school and keeping their home up. How do I say this...I want him to be who he is, but I'm scared of the possibility that he will make some wrong decisions.

Yesterday, they got a notice taped to their apartment door that their rent was becoming past due. Nathaniel immediately called us to borrow the car to go to the bank, get the money and pay the rent. Of course we let him, but I also hope that the lesson of life sinks in...that being that life can be hard and they have to be careful.

I'm not sure if I'll even stop worrying about him and David. They will always be in my heart.

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My heart goes out to you. Kids grow up and stop being children, but you never stop being a parent. You never stop worrying about your kids, but would you have it any other way?I wish Nathaniel and David all the best. We always want to cocoon our children, but we probably were no wiser than they are when we were that age. Just like we did, they will learn some of their life lessons the hard way. When they get in difficulty we are always there to catch them - and they need the security of knowing that. It's one of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child - unconditional love.You are a wonderful man and Nathaniel and David will know that. May your beard grow ever longer.

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By letting him go, Ricard, you managed to keep him. It really works that way. You gave him his independence, and he's very aware of that. You've already seen the effect. He had a problem, and immediately called you. He hasn't left your life, he's simply inhabiting it in a different way.As much as he's affected your life, you've undoubtedly affected his even more. He won't forget you, and will certainly stay in contact.And, you can invite them both to dinner on a regular basis, weekly, bi-monthly, monthly, whatever you think best. Then you'll get to know him all over again in different circumstances, with your relationship subtly changed.I'm sure it's hard to see them fly from the nest, but how great is it to see their wings working well?C

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I don't have children myself, but I found it enormously satisfying when I stopped being only my parent's child, and began to learn to love them as best friends as well. It opened my relationship with them into so many new dimensions, and enriched my relationship with them so much...

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