Little Jimmy at Midnight

[Chris James]

Dialogue is so important in any story, and so I thought why not a story that is all dialogue? This says everything I meant to convey and implies so much more.

Little Jimmy at Midnight

“Hi…this is some New Year’s Eve party.”

“Um, are you a member of the GYBA?”

“I just joined…Jimmy Scott.”

“Mike Parker…welcome aboard. This is our first group meeting in a while and…I’m sorry. It’s just…you don’t look old enough to be a member.”

“I’m eighteen…be nineteen in two months,” Jimmy said.

“Oh, sorry again. I guess you get that comment all the time.”

Jimmy smiled. “Every day since sixth grade.”

“Sixth grade? What happened then?” Mike asked.

“It’s what didn’t happen…I have Kallman Syndrome.”

“Oh…I have no idea what that means.”

“You want the short version, that’s me,” Jimmy said with a laugh.

“You don’t have to say anything. I don’t mean to pry, but is it curable?”

“Working on that right now. My parents refused to deal with it once I came out to them in tenth grade. I had to wait until my eighteenth birthday to find my own doctor.”

“That’s terrible. I mean…parents need to be responsible for their children’s health.”

“Yes, they do,” Jimmy said. “Kallman Syndrome only means I have low testosterone, they call that hypogonadism. It’s a genetic defect passed down by my parents. Lucky me.”

“Hypo…gonads, as in testicles?” Mike asked.

“Exactly. No activity in the hypothalamus, no puberty back when it was supposed to happen. I didn’t have a very pleasant experience in middle school. I was the butt of every kind of joke possible, and then there was the gay issue. I know what it’s like to be a bully magnet.”

“Wow, then this is the place for you,” Mike said. “The community center started the Gay Young Business Association just for guys like us. Have you picked out a career path yet?”

Jimmy smiled. “Already started a business and doing pretty well. I’m one of the founding partners of Back to Nature Foods.”

“The co-op? I’ve been in there. That’s great, I bet every university student in town shops there,” Mike said.

“That was the idea behind it. So what’s your chosen profession?”

“I build websites,” Mike said. “Back to Nature has a nice one.”

“It’s too static, I wish it was more interactive,” Jimmy said.

Mike smiled. “Now you know why this group is so valuable, we have a lot of resources in this room.”

Jimmy smiled. “It’s looking better by the moment.”

Mike grinned. “I thought our evening was complete when you walked in.”

Jimmy blushed. “Uh…that was kind.”

“I’m only telling the truth.”

“Look, I really don’t know what I want,” Jimmy said. “I don’t have any experience because…”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Mike said. “None of that was your fault. The GYBA is all about focusing on the future, and I hope you’re in mine.”

“I’d like that very much,” Jimmy said. “A perfect way to start the New Year.”

“It’s almost midnight…can I kiss you?” Mike asked.

“Please,” Jimmy said.

“Five…four…three…two…Happy New Year!”

“Yes, a terrific New Year,” Mike said. “The best ever.”

“I’m beginning to believe that,” Jimmy replied.

[Lugnutz]

Most excellent! You know a story is good when you have to Goggle Kallman Syndrome to see what it is before jumping to conclusions. Now it's time to ask where the rest is.

[Cole Parker]

Chris:

I had exactly the same urge a while back, to write a story that was entirely dialog. I wrote one about playing basketball in the ghetto. It's hanging around here somewhere, probably in Flast Fiction. It was really fun to write, with a different set of problems than we usually face to be resolved. I had a wonderful time doing it, and just from reading yours, I can feel that you did, too. Great job!

C

[Richard Norway]

That was wonderful Chris. When I write fiction, I usually put more of the story in dialog than in description. I'm old, but I wasn't born in the 19th century. Writing your story using dialog to move the story along is more difficult.

Which brings me to a great idea. For the next AD Challange, it should be a scene described entirely in dialog, just as Chris has done. Let's give everyone a chance to try this. The dialog should have all the elements of flash fiction - character development, back story, beginning, middle ,and end, conflict and resolution, etc.

What does everyone think?

[Lugnutz]

It's an idea. Hmmm............. A strictly dialogue challenge. Probably in flash style? This I could hopefully do.

[colinian]

Strictly dialogue is easier to read and flows better than strictly narrative. Just my opinion.

Colin

[Chris James]

Which brings me to a great idea. For the next AD Challange, it should be a scene described entirely in dialog, just as Chris has done. Let's give everyone a chance to try this. The dialog should have all the elements of flash fiction - character development, back story, beginning, middle ,and end, conflict and resolution, etc.

What does everyone thinb?

Groan, did you just say a challenge in dialogue? I would venture that a complete story in dialogue might just be something I would avoid writing. How long can a thread of thought carry the readers without a descriptive sentence? I know my attentions would falter after two pages, and that's why Little Jimmy was so short. Sorry, Richard, but I would have to take a pass unless you think we could do this as flash fiction.

[Merkin]

"Did you see what Norway has come up with this time?"

"I'll get to it. I'm a week behind in my reading."

"Don't bother. I'll tell you. It's a new Challenge."

"Oh, fer chri--listen, I don't have time for another one of those quickie story shakedowns."

"No, listen: this one requires a story written all in dialogue."

"You mean like a bloody stageplay?"

"Well, sorta. But just lines, no stage directions."

"That's insane. Who could make sense of it?"

"There's an example, by Chris James. It's a flash fiction piece. It's not bad."

"Well, I suppose if it's real short it might make work."

"Shall we give it a try? It's for AwesomeDude."

"Oh, well, in that case I'm in."

[Lugnutz]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I threw my hat in the ring with a spur of the moment freak brain surge.