ube licker

Aww thx trab, Talonrider and Jamessavik. I understand where you come from because there are many great stories out there that I've read and never made comments on. If any of you have any criticisms (besides the spelling and grammar, which I still believe is important to a good story) or suggestions then please feel free to post them. :)

Thx EleCivil. I think you're my only reader here LOL! It's ok, this site is full of great authors and you are one of them. I just realized that my profile name says I'm a poetry contributer... I'm an author and I've never written poetry for this site... :? Does anybody know how I can change that? Anyway, I love writing this story and I hope that whoever is reading it enjoys it. I know I make a lot of spelling and grammar errors so that's one thing I'll definitely be working on. I can't wait to post more chapters. Chapt 16 should be on it's way soon enough.

I like this story... and I think I'm falling in love with Mark. He's witty, eccentric and everything I look for in a guy LOL. I don't usually like "cynical" characters but Brandon has a certain charm about him. Can't wait to find out more about Nick. Oh and the travel games' joke was pretty hilarious. Looking forward to chapter 4 :)

I was comparing the heat to a swindler, someone who obtains by fraudulent means. Would dropping the 'in' reflect this? Thank you Trab.

LOL Damien. He's one of my sources of inspiration. Anyway, I'm back and I just sent in Chapter 13. It's a halloween special and I hope you guys enjoy it when dude updates. And thank you dude and jamessavik.

thanks for the feedback James. I tried PMing you (that sounds like another inuendo :p ) but I kept getting errors. i hope that you and everyone else enjoy the rest of the story.

Wow. My writing compared to Robert Cormier? Thanks EleCivil. Chapter 11 is up. Enjoy :D Oh, and thanks to everyone who's been e-mailing me. I'll answer a few questions here. Yes, I wanted the characterization to be a little vague for a few reasons. Explaining an emotion that the character doesn't know he feels can be very challenging. As mentioned above there is no school in Oahu called 'Montega Academy' for gay adolescent males. It's ok to "bug me". I enjoy reading all your e-mails, whether you have positive comments or criticisms. The other characters practically narrate what Damien feels but they also assume a lot of things. Yes, I know how it's going to end. No, I don't think any of you are weird or creepy for e-mailing me. I wish I could write faster but then my writing would be even more sloppier than it is now. Yeah, I have this impulse to leave things in cliff hangers. I guess that's why I ended chapter 11 the way I did. It's hard to break a habit. Anyways, thanks again for the feedback guys. I only wanted people to read my story. I never thought I'd actually get any fans. It's pretty cool. Enjoy the rest of the story.

Chapter 10 is now up. Enjoy :)

Thanks dcorvus. I'm glad that you're liking the story. It's been a while since I posted a chapter but I have been working on it as much as I could. I've been rather preoccupied lately, but I do intend to finish this. The next chapter of 'Beautiful Soul' can be found here on awesomedude. Enjoy.

Hey guys, I was going through the forum when I realized that I never gave a proper introduction to myself. I am one of the new writer's on this site and I've been writing my online story 'Beautiful Soul' since February. I read many stories on the web, either original or fanfiction, and I've written a few fanfictions that I've never finished (lack of motivation). I came across Nifty 2 years ago when a friend of mine came out of the closet. He showed me the site because he knew how much I liked to read new and different things. Some stories were... disappointing. But there were some great stories that I enjoyed. Some of them, I've found here on this site. I've taken a writer's craft course that I found very rewarding. The course helped me tap into a different train of thinking that I wasn't familiar with. It wasn't till my exgirlfriend called me 'close minded and cold hearted' that I decided to write my own original story. I wanted to write in a perspective other than my own so I chose to do a story on gay teens. When writing 'Beautiful Soul' I look towards stories on Nifty and other gay story sites to help me build the characters I've created. These characters are actually based on real people (who may or may not be straight). I chose to create a fantasy school for gay teen males for a number of reasons. Primarily it took away the overused plot of discriminatory bullying. Another reason was to demonstrate the same type of social structure found in a school full of gays to a normal public school. There is still an hierarchy, a brand of popularity, and the beautiful outcasts. This is the longest story I've written so far. I guess I keep writing because of the strong encouragement (surprisingly) I get from people who actually read it. In brief, I am a straight male university student who wants to pursue a career as a teacher but also has the ambition to be a writer. I know I sound extremely formal, but if you get to know me I am a very verbal and blunt individual. If any of you would like to know more about me, don't hesitate to ask. Thanks and have a good read.

Presenting characters works best when describing an action that character has done. Actions speak louder than words... most of the time.

Cool. This story is now a part of this site. Thanks to the dude.

haha WBM... Your post was the reason why I wanted to start writing my story here. Since I was a teen, I read stories on Nifty and other story sites that had the same running theme in it. Where the plot centralized on the "depressing" theme of being ghettoized as a homosexual. I have searched endlessly for stories that look beyond this overused plot mechanism, until I finally decided to write my own allegory on it that I've placed here and on Nifty. I tend to enjoy stories where being gay is just an accessory to an overall plot. I also admire stories like New Brother that take a different vantage point to a plot that has altogether become a cliche for gay teen fiction. I find that I can't sympathize for the protagonists of these homo-sob stories. I find them too self-absorbed, and it bothers me that many of them depend on stronger characters to save them from their ultra violent homophobic fathers. Maybe others have a different opinion, but I just wish the writer of such a story could give the character a little bit of backbone. Or maybe I've just grown tired of guys who can't fend for themselves. LOL. Anyway, the plot of these stories usually make me want to punch myself. I agree with the above posters that there is a general outline that many can easily preceive within the first chapter. I like it when writers are able to pull the wool over my eyes and place a storyline twist in unexpected places. When a story revolves around one's sexuality... let's just say that there isn't anything further the writer can teach us about acceptance, love and what it takes to be an American. I've seen a trend, not only in fiction, but in gay films, where one of the central character dies in the end. Now don't get me wrong, one of my favorite stories here includes a death scene in the end. But it's seriously becoming something of a deus ex machina to evoke some form of sympathy through that type of tragedy. So in any case, I agree with many of you. Also, a plot doesn't have to be 'new', it just has to be creatively done well.

.(Without giving too much away) That is the irony that I try to instill within the story.

haha that's funny, considering im such an x-man fan. :? but I never actually thought about it that way... guess that's what happens when one attempts an allegory