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The Pecman

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Everything posted by The Pecman

  1. No, no -- you do yourself a disservice, WBMS. You do a dynamite job as editor (and a writer), and the comments I've seen from you have always been first-rate. I'd take "harsh" and honest over "wishy-washy and nice," any day of the week.
  2. I have the two-volume edition from the 1980s, which came complete in a slipcase with a big magnifying glass, which you have to use in order to read the "2-point" (or whatever it is) type. Boy, what a pain in the ass that is. Isn't the OED out as a CD-ROM somewhere? If they did that, it shouldn't cost more than $50, tops. One of my favorite books on writing, ever. I cited it several years ago in my Gay Writing Tips piece. I love Orson's book so much, I've read it two or three times. I can't say enough good things about Noah Lukeman's book The First Five Pages, which has been used as a writing textbook in many college classes. It's fast-paced and easy to read, and I think Lukeman's list of what not to do is very helpful, particularly to neophytes. At the same time, I think you can make a good list of bestsellers that ignored some of Lukeman's rules, yet were still successful. But I still think his ideas work very well, at least as general rules.
  3. Boy, this is an embarrassing topic. A friend of mine at summer camp did it with me underwater, in a lake, at about 2AM. And once, on a dare, three other guys all spanked it with me in a garage. There was at least one more occasion where the same group got together at neighborhood concrete mixing plant, and fooled around in an indoor gravel pit. And in one last case, a friend of mine dared me to do it at the top of a carnival ferris wheel (with him sitting next to me), but I didn't, uh, complete the act, because the wheel was moving. In all the above, I was about 13 or 14. There's gotta be some weirder ones than that, but that's all I can remember. The mind grows hazy with the years. I do know I never got caught, but I had some close calls.
  4. Uh, take a look at the source for this story. It's The Onion, and the story is very tongue-in-cheek and sarcastic -- like all of the stories on this website (and newspaper). I know of a couple of gay groups who are irate about Amazon, because of the fact that the site closely "watches" all your buying habits, and then makes suggestions on similar things it determines that you might want to buy. So if I log into Amazon, and a friend is watching over my shoulder, he might see a book titled "100 Ways of Men Pleasing Men" or something like that, which would sorta out me. Me personally, I'm amused by it, but I can see why some would find Amazon's marketing efforts a little intrusive. I rarely find their suggestions to be helpful, but I readily admit I have some pretty eclectic tastes.
  5. Hey, they taught us in Journalism class, "who, what, WHEN, where, why, how," as the six questions. Maybe they're teaching things differently today. Be wary of over-outlining your story. I think it's possible to get too anal about this stuff, and it winds up taking a lot of the fun and discovery out of the writing itself. I think having a very basic outline (like with just one or two sentences per chapter) works fine. I don't bother to update the outline, because in my case, things start snowballing so fast, the chapters go far beyond what I had originally come up with for the outline. I keep the original outline just to jog my memory when I realize, "hey! I forgot to mention such-and-such in the story." I do agree that making a timeline is important, and I do update those constantly. I'm crazed enough that when I say a certain date happens on a given day in the story, it's actually correct on the calendar. (I have a little program on my desktop that lets me check this; I've already had to use it several times on my current story, part of which takes place in 1864 and 1865, so keeping that straight has been a challenge.) Yeah, that can happen. I think this can be a powerful technique, and can improve the story, or at least take it to places you didn't originally imagine. I haven't had this become a drawback yet, but I have yet to have to throw an entire chapter out and start over because it went to a weird place.
  6. That's a tough situation. I have a couple of close friends who are writers, and occasionally I'll talk "story" with them, and go over a couple of points I'm mulling over. They're the first to slap me upside the head and go, "hey! That makes no sense!" Once I see that, I can come up with a solution. But even great writers have stories they abandon and throw back into the trunk. To me, my spare time is so valuable (and so rare), I have no choice but to be very careful about using it. I do two things to avoid dead ends: 1) I try to make a time-line for the story so that I can see exactly when and where key events happen 2) I make a list of story points, like a bullet list, of things that have to happen in order to get from Point A to Point B. I think there's a risk with #2 to "over-outline" a novel to the point where it's no longer fun to write. I almost had that happen with Jagged Angel, and I resolved never to do that again. With the new story, I just have about a two-page synopsis, and I have a vague idea of what has to happen in each chapter. But I already have the ending in my head, so the dead end shouldn't happen. If you don't already know the ending, then I would suggest this: make 3x5 index cards of the highlights of the novel so far ("Joe gets shot," "Joe meets Larry," "Larry wins the Lotto"), and pin them all up on the wall. When you can see the key plot details, all at one time, then I bet you'll have a better chance at figuring out the next step. That, plus having a group of writer/friends who can suggest solutions. In my case, the friends don't necessarily come up with the right idea, but often they'll force me to re-examine a scene, and I come up with an entirely new way of doing it that's better than what I did originally, and also (to me) better than what they suggested. As long as the story is improved, I don't care where the idea comes from, provided it's original and entertaining.
  7. Now there's an interesting concept we should have in America...
  8. I don't necessarily agree with that. To me, that implies the characters control the story, not the writer. On the other hand: I've personally had the experience of writing a character out of a novel, and then been shocked when the character finds a way to sneak back into the story. I was amused when it happened, and realized, "maybe I'm not done with this character yet," and added an extra chapter just to bring him back for awhile. Weird experience. But my gut feeling was, the character was still reacting logically, even though it wasn't what I planned. But I do agree that there are instances when the story reaches a dead-end. To me, though, that won't happen if you've worked it out in your head before you start. I would add three other good ways to fight writer's block: 7) try writing in a completely different environment. Sit on a park bench with a laptop, hike up a hill, go to the beach (weather permitting), sit in a public library, visit a coffee house, and try writing there for a change. J.K. Rowling has written most of the Harry Potter novels at a neighborhood coffee house (who has been kind enough to give her a private room upstairs, where fans won't bother her). Surrounding yourself by a completely new environment is bound to stimulate you in a radically new way. 8) if you're stuck on a specific scene, try writing it from a completely different point of view. (I recommend this only for those writing in 3rd person.) If it's a murder scene, how would it look from the victim's POV, vs. the killer's? Or what if a witness is hiding and sees (or overhears) the whole thing? 9) Get away from the computer, and try using a pen and paper as a change of pace. Stephen King wrote several novels that way (including the best-seller Dreamcatcher), and J.K. Rowling's first drafts of all the Potter novels are all written entirely by hand. Sometimes, just forcing yourself to try something drastic is enough to shift gears in the creative process.
  9. J.K. Rowling touches on it several times in the Potter books, and I can tell you from an American perspective, it does kinda make us do a double-take. "Head what?" The kids in the various houses at Hogwarts are always being chastised by various "head boys" here and there, and it seems to be taken pretty seriously there. Bizarre as the concept may be, it hasn't stopped Rowling from selling a few hundred million books.
  10. When I was in school 100 years ago (OK, maybe it just feels like that long ago), we had "hall monitors" in elementary and sometimes Jr. High school. Nowadays, they'd have to give those kids bulletproof vests. Hall monitors basically stopped kids from wandering around the halls once the class bell had rung, and also checked to see if kids had permission slips to go to the bathroom, etc. I think in Britain, a Prefect has more responsibilities, particularly at boarding schools (based solely on my reading of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter novels.) The concept of boarding schools is usually reserved mostly for the children of very wealthy people, at least in the U.S. Certainly, there's no equivalent for a "head boy," as they have in British boys' schools. I'm sure you're already aware that in America, "public schools" are free, taxpayer-supported schools open to the public, and "private schools" are paid by the parents (and are often expensive). I seem to recall that these terms are swapped in the U.K., or have radically different meanings.
  11. I just had a conversation with a friend of mine in email who admitted to me he was suffering from a bout of writer's block. I told him I had gone through the same sort of thing for the last couple of years, where I was stalled on starting a new novel. I was just able to overcome it a few weeks ago (and in fact, will probably be posting the first chapter here in the next few days). Below are my suggestions to him as to how writers can work around the problem. In my case, a lot of it was work-related, where I had been affected by a bunch of upheavels at my day job (including one company shuttering, a freelance stint 600 miles from home, and another job 7000 miles away in Europe). I think I've finally gotten a handle on the personal issues, and I'm kind of easing out of the black cloud for the moment. Anyway, here's my short list of ideas: 1) start writing the story in the middle. Forget about the build-up -- try writing chapter 6 or chapter 8 or whatever first. 2) Make some notes. Create 3x5 index cards with specific plot points, jot down one sentence on each, like, "Joe gets shot in a robbery attempt," or "Jack gets the flu." Use these as a jumping off point: what if your lead character got terribly sick? What if he (or she) got robbed? And so on. You can always throw it away if it sucks. 3) By that same token, DON'T BE AFRAID IF WHAT YOU WRITE SUCKS. Don't worry if the first draft isn't perfect, or isn't even good. This is my main problem. If I sit down and dash out a few paragraphs, and what I read isn't what I want, I get depressed, discouraged, and go to bed. I think a better attitude is: keep writing, knowing that you can always delete tomorrow what you write today. Nobody ever has to see it but you. Rembrandt probably threw away 20 paintings for every one he kept. Just keep the ideas flowing and the keyboard clicking. 4) Make an outline. Come up with an opening, jot down some major plot points, and see if an ending strikes you. Bear in mind that some of the greatest novels ever written were done by authors who had no idea what the ending was going to be. I remember an interview Stephen King once gave, where he explained why he wrote 12 hours a day for six months on one of his major epics (it might have been THE SHINING): "I couldn't wait to see how the story was going to end." 5) try to come up with a regular writing schedule, and at least write a page or two a day. Don't try to push yourself beyond that. I figure if you can a good solid 500 words a day, life is good. I like to end what my writing session smack dab in the middle of a thought, rather than at the end of a scene, so I can come back to it days later and say, "oh yeah, then the guy says such-and-such, and we go to the next scene." 6) when all else fails, READ. Go out and get a good book, not just free stuff on the Net (and I readily admit that some of it is good, just hard to find). Check out a real novel by a good, mainstream, published author -- either an established classic or a new best-seller, whatever is your preference -- buy it new, get it from a public library, find a paperback, grab a used copy from Amazon, borrow one from a friend if you have to. Take apart what the author does, figure out how he or she crafts each sentence, paragraph, and chapter, and take a good hard look at "the machinery behind the story." Once you understand what's going on, it's like standing backstage at a magic show: you can see how all the tricks are done, while at the same time appreciating the magician's skill at fooling the audience. Anybody who's also suffered from writer's block, please feel free to add your thoughts. It's a terrible thing, having creative ideas, yet being somehow prevented from getting them down on paper. I can see why some writers are driven to drink (or worse), and what a struggle it can be. But with luck, you can find a way to break through it and keep going.
  12. They don't provide any sources for the research, so I think it's all hooey. Unless and until they provide the names of the researchers and published data, this is just a theory. I'm of the opinion that homosexuality is caused by both heredity and environment, and I don't think just one piece of the diet (like soy milk) will do anything. Malnutrition won't help any baby, but it won't necessarily make them gay or effeminate, not in my experience. Unless a real bona fide news organization presents this case, I'm not gonna buy it. This is the problem with believing so-called news being presented on websites with no credentials.
  13. Hey, you oughta see me: I work in LA in the movie business, strictly as an overpaid technical behind-the-scenes guy, and I often have to watch the same bad scene, with horrible dialogue, 20 or 30 times -- from various angles -- while we put the pieces together. Sometimes, it's like being hit on the hammer fifty times a day. Often, the mistakes are far more entertaining than the real dialogue. My favorite experiences have been when the director comes in, and -- if I'm lucky -- I get to (tactfully) ask them, "hey -- what happened here? Why did the character do that? That doesn't seem to make sense." I've done this with some very famous, infamous, and non-famous directors and producers over the last 20 years. They usually say one of three things: 1) Oh, we had a scene that explained that, but we had to cut it out because the movie was too long. 2) That always bothered me, too, but the studio/producer/writer/star insisted that it stay in. 3) Hey, I never noticed that problem before! Oh, well, it's too late to change it now. There's also: 4) Shut up and keep working. What's interesting is, when a movie is totally F'd up during production, you'd be amazed at the number of people on the set who immediately see and understand the problem. I've had cinematographers, grips, and technicians tell me, "jesus, that scene doesn't work at all," and 9 times out of 10, they're right. They actually get the writing and the context. You work in the business long enough, you figure it out. The trick is figuring out how to fix it, and that's a total crap shoot. To me, it's a miracle that there are as many good films & TV shows out there as there are. 97% of everything I work on is total dung. The only two TV shows I watch at all are Lost and Heroes, both of which are exceptionally good (especially for TV). And the only other show is The Sopranos, which is so good, it's almost a little movie every week (when it's on).
  14. I think there's a hundred things you can do. Some include: * try writing in a completely different environment, like in a public library, or at a coffee shop, or outside under an umbrella. * re-read the previous chapter so you have a better sense of where the new one comes in, and what you're going to have to cover * try beginning the new chapter in a completely different way than you've tried before. Jumping into the middle of a scene is a good technique used all the time in TV and film. * and you hit on a good one: when all else fails, jump ahead to another unwritten part of the story and do that. I got about four chapters into Groovy Kind of Love a few years ago, and suddenly got inspired to write the climax of the novel (which I won't spoil, in case some of you haven't read it). I wrote that, which turned out to be chapter 20, then went back to about chapter 5 and figured out how to pace everything out for another 14 chapters. Worked just fine. I just overcame about a year's worth of writers block and finally started working on my new novel, Pieces of Forever, which is a complete departure from my other two novels. It's tough because of the amount of research I've had to do, plus I've been overwhelmed with my regular job and a bunch of other issues, but I think I'm finally on the right path. The bottom line is that you can't really write a story until you're really ready, and there's a good chance you'll write nothing but crap if you try to force it. On the other hand, don't ever be afraid to write crap, because you can always just scissor it out later on. Many writing textbooks advise to try to write a little bit every day, no matter what, just to keep your mind busy working on the plot. Ah, you need to learn some basic bulletin board HTML. To quote from somebody, you type "[*QUOTE]" (without the quotation marks or asterisks, just the brackets), cut and paste the actual quotation, then end it with "[*/QUOTE]". Then you answer the response. Also, if you look at the top of the text message compose window, you'll see commands for boldface, italics, ad all kinds of other stuff. I think stories on the Net always look better in HTML, provided the author doesn't go too crazy with fancy fonts and effects. I plead guilty to using italics for characters' thoughts (which I think works well), and once in a blue moon, I'll inset some text and put it in a different font if I'm showing a message on a computer screen or a handwritten note. I used that for some blackmail notes in Jagged Angel, which I think worked very well.
  15. Ardveche was (or is) a quirky dude. I sent him some compliments on his story New to the State, but gave him some very minor (or what I thought were minor) critiques: 1) the story is set in a place in California, but he doesn't say where, plus the descriptions bear no resemblance to any place I've ever seen in California 2) all the characters are American, but a few bizarre "Britishisms" got dropped in every so often, including "Father Christmas" (which to me is unforgivable) and 3) I felt the story could use more conflict. But other than that, I thought the novel was fairly well-done, certainly above the norm, and I found the characters captivating and the story compelling enough to make me want to read it. Anyway, the guy just about ripped my head off in his email response. He insisted his grasp of the American idiom was beyond reproach, that plenty of Americans refer to "Father Christmas" (!!!), and basically told me to get stuffed. I gently reminded him that he had specifically requested feedback for the story, and I again emphasized that I enjoyed what he wrote, except for these very minor criticisms. He didn't want to hear it. I think if all you want to get from readers is compliments, you should say so in your notes at the end of the story. What I sent him was far from a flame, and I had fully expected he would be as receptive to new ideas and opposing points of view as I am; I was wrong. I understand that many writers are more sensitive than most people, particularly about criticism, but at the same time, I've learned far more from my critics than I have from those who praised my work. You can say anything you want to about my writing, and I won't blink an eye; if you're hostile, I'll just shrug and say, "well, that's your opinion -- here's why I think you're wrong." And move on from there. You can't ever take these things personally. I'm sorry to see Ardveche has vanished, because I thought he showed a lot of potential, but he was a very odd guy. I hope he comes back and continues to write.
  16. Hey, tell that to Michael Jackson! But ya know... ba-dum-dum... Seriously, I'm gratified that you took my suggestion and read the piece. I was surprised to see that... <spoiler alert here> ...when the sex scene almost happens, the older character stops it and gently rebuffs the younger character, which I thought was a very real, very mature, yet sympathetic approach. That was probably what caused the author to submit it in the Adult/Youth category, since it's about a young teenager captivated by an older teen. But the quality of the writing really impressed me. BTW, so far, the author hasn't responded to my email, which is a pity. He's apparently written just one other Nifty story, "Oversleeping," about an affair between an older brother and a younger brother, but it's much more explicit -- and, frankly, not as well-done. Interesting that the writer has written two stories on similar themes.
  17. Hi, Jack. Yeah, I agree 100% with what you said. The author really pulls off a very poignant, wistful kind of quality in the story, and I admire what he (or she) did very much. Here's a paragraph from the final chapter: "There was something special about the path to Brad's house, the grass under my feet, long and spindly until I got to his yard, where they actually kept it freshly cut. I could close my eyes and know when I had crossed the boundary. Even the air smelled different. I'd walked this path dozens of times before, and each trip had its own set of memories that played fleetingly through my head as I walked. I could see myself at the beginning of summer, a frightened boy terrified of what would become of my parents and their separation. I could see myself later in the summer, shirtless, a box of tator tots in my hand, fueled by a love for tennis (and Brad). Every version of me that walked this path shared only one thing, and that was hope that once I set foot inside that house that everything would be perfect, at least for a little while." I could post more, but I'm gonna just shut up and let people read the story. It's a really remarkable coming-of-age tale, very well told. BTW: I also really enjoyed Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything, which is a dynamite read, one I've recommended to a dozen friends of mine.
  18. I think both Norton and McAffy (particularly the full-blown suites) are incredibly intrusive and slow down computers somethin' awful. The best thing I've found so far is Microsoft Windows Live OneCare. It doesn't get in the way too much, plus it's cheap. We got a package that will run on three PCs for under $50, and it covers viruses, spyware, and adware. [Note that even Macs can get Windows viruses, if you're running Windows XP on a Mac!] I also think running IE7 does a lot to repair security holes, though the best bet (to me) is to use a very simple browser like Mozilla. That, plus being very careful what you download. Another good rule is to avoid receiving HTML email, and whatever you do, don't ever click on a Web link in a suspicious email! Lotta nasty crap out there.
  19. Details, details! Who the F cares, as long as it's a terrific story? Regardless of when it was written, this novel was really beautifully done. I finished reading it more than 12 hours ago, and I've mulled over the plot and characters at least half a dozen times since. Read it yourself and tell me if you agree. I think one of the elements the writer used that was the key to the story is one of unrequited love, which I think is what gives the story a lot of its realism and emotional impact. I also admired the fact that the author didn't go for an easy ending, and in fact, went off into a somewhat unexpected direction that I thought was very well-done. And the quality of the writing, particularly in the last chapter, was really poetic and heartfelt. There's also just enough sex in it to engage the interest of readers who want that kind of story -- despite the fact that it's very much a romantic coming-of-age piece. Honestly, it's probably the best thing I read all year -- with the possible exception of Richard Matheson's masterful The Haunting of Hell House, which is scaring the bejeezus out of me at the moment.
  20. Holey moley, I kid you not, this is the best damned story I've read all year (2006) -- and that goes for published fiction and Net fiction combined. I normally stay away from the Nifty "Adult-Youth" stories, because frankly, most of 'em get a little bit too "out there" for me. But this is one is very much an exception, and there is no sex per se between adults and kids. It's a very sensitive story of infatuation between a lonely kid and an older athletic teen next door. I found it to be exceptionally well-told, very poignant, and achingly real. I actually got a little choked up reading it, which doesn't happen that often. I can't recommend this story more highly. Here's the link: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/luckiest-summer/ Not only would I put this in Best of Nifty, I'd put this in a Best Nifty Story of the Year category, if we had one!
  21. Holey moley, this is the best damned story I've read all year -- and that goes for published fiction and Net fiction combined. I normally stay away from the Nifty "Adult-Youth" stories, because frankly, most of 'em get a little bit too "out there" for me. But this is one is very much an exception, and there is no sex per se between adults and kids. It's a very sensitive story of infatuation between a lonely kid and an older athletic teen next door. I found it to be exceptionally well-told, very poignant, and achingly real. I actually got a little choked up reading it, which doesn't happen that often. I can't recommend this story more highly. Here's the link: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/luckiest-summer/ Not only would I put this in Best of Nifty, I'd put this in a Best Nifty Story of the Year category, if we had one!
  22. I'm a big fan of Leo Laporte, who does a dozen podcasts every week, along with a weekend computer radio show on KFI-AM in Los Angeles, plus many published books. Leo says the following: "I don?t generally recommend registry cleaners. First of all, the Windows registry is a horrible mistake. Registry cleaners all have one fatal flaw, they are sometimes too aggressive. The chance of you breaking something is high. The risk outweighs the reward." I agree with him, that the registry cleaners out there are fraught with problems. Microsoft used to have one, then pulled it off the market a few months later after getting too many complaints about it.
  23. Hey, listen, don't take that necessarily as a criticism. When I say that Aaron Sorkin does it, too, I'm comparing you to the man who is arguably he best TV series writer in the last decade, who's won six Emmys and makes about $20 million a year for the same kind of snappy, glib dialog I'm complaining about. I'd put Laika in the top five of any Net fiction I've read this year. You almost lost me on the opening chapters, because I started to think "oh, man, this is gonna be a story of an intellectual kid who gets involved with a punk band," which isn't something I'm into, but you spun it into several interesting directions, particularly with the church kid. It's definitely got me hooked and wanting more, and that's better than 90% of the stuff I see out there. And you're already writing at a thoroughly professional, publishable level, which is a helluva achievement. My last two comments: please put some sex in this story, and crank out the chapters faster!
  24. Dynamite story. I like where it's headed. I hope there's a payoff, with a major conflict between Brandon and Nick's parents. Oh, that's gotta be messy. Also, for the person who asked: I've always heard "Laika" pronounced as "LIKE-ah," similar to the German Leica camera. BTW, to Elecivil: I don't think the Russian scientists turned off Laika's life-support. I think the poor creature burned up in the atmosphere when the capsule came back to earth. Wikipedia says that the dog died from "stress and overheating," but I think it was more than that. I appreciate the allegorical title: a creature that's under the thumb of somebody else, being controlled, having no say in what happens in their lives. Interesting idea. If I have one criticism (and it's extremely minor), it's that the dialog is sometimes a little too snappy, like most of the characters are in on the same joke. I have the exact same problem with Aaron Sorkin's otherwise-superb writing on West Wing and Studio 60, where every character is so hip and articulate, it gets a little too coincidental after awhile. But I still enjoy Sorkin's work, and I can't wait to see how Laika develops. I love the story's surprises, and how the characters are carved out so sharply and distinctly from each other. Hurry up and write more! [And an uneasy postscript: I just saw from another reference on Laika, the Russian dog, that the Soviet scientists "always intended for the dog to die, because Sputnick 2 was not retrievable." Jesus, I sure hope this grim factoid doesn't predict the story's future direction...]
  25. I can't remember the movie either, but I've tried to do that with several people for whom I've edited their work. One thing I believe in is telling them when their story has a logistical flaw -- like a character doing something bizarre and unexpected, an unexplained plot point, or a factual impossibility, like driving from one part of LA to another in five minutes. (This happens in many episodes of the TV series 24, which makes we natives crazy.) I think if the editor can pose questions to the author along the lines of, "why does this character do this?" or "where is this headed," it could help them make the story make more sense. I also like to see every chapter have a point to make in the complete novel. In other words, "what purpose is served by this chapter? Would the book be stronger if you left it out? Are you just restating what you've already said before?" Likewise, if something seems rushed and too abrupt, maybe ask the writer to expand on that a little bit and add more details. To me, dealing with the conceptual problems is far more difficult than just spelling and grammar. If a writer doesn't have a good answer for the question, "what is really the theme of your story -- what is at the heart of what you're trying to say?", then you may have a big problem.
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