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Josiah Jacobus-Parker

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About Josiah Jacobus-Parker

  • Birthday 06/16/1987

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  • AIM
    WeirdAG0Sign
  • Website URL
    http://josiah.awesomedude.com
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    0

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Annandale-On-Hudson
  • Interests
    writing, drawing, rock climbing, lightning is effing sexy!

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  1. Yes, I am alive! No, there is not a new chapter yet! I know, I suck. I'm sorry. I'm just stopping by briefly, in part because of the swathe of emails I've received in the last few months asking when the next chapter will be ready, if I'm continuing the story, did I die, where was I buried, was the service nice? etc etc. I felt guilty about taking so long to reply to each of them and about leaving everyone in the lurch-- I don't think even The Dude knew where I had disappeared to. So here's what's up: Since Winter Break, college life has been utterly hectic, now with two jobs, an extra class, and a weekly Writer's Workshop. In addition, this is the semester I 'Moderate' into my Major. Naive as I am, I decided I wanted to moderate into two majors (ie, double major), AND do it all early, ahead of the usual date. Which basically means I've had no time what-so-ever to work on continuing The Kept, and have barely even been on AD in weeks and weeks. It's awful I know. Such great company, how could I possible stay away? Well, to make matters worse, the internet has cut out in my room, so I now live in a small den on the top floor of the library, hidden away between bookshelves and dusty Hannah Arendt tomes (ok, not really. I don't sleep there and there's only one pillow there, but others do know I've staked the space out as mine). On the bright side though, in a matter of weeks, Moderation will be over. My moderation boards will have either decided to allow me to moderate, or told me to wait and try again next semester. I'm hoping for the first, because I do NOT want to go through this all again if I can help it. What that does mean though, is that after Spring Break, one way or another, I should be able to get back to writing and continuing the story where I left off. I definitely do intend to continue with The Kept, and I wish I could give a date when I thought the next chapter will be ready, but right now, all bets are off. Sorry again for being so absent and leaving you in the lurch! Hope you are all well and not too many of you are wishing me grievous bodily harm. Best regards, -JJP
  2. I still feel like money would be better spent providing essential things like, oh I don't know... clean water, clean and nutritious food, medical supplies and long-term housing and shelter. But it?s a lot easier for the West to look at poor countries and think ?Oh, the poor things. Lets give them technology like ours and they?ll be just fine. Because we can?t really do anything about their living conditions?that?s what their governments are for, after all.? Honestly, great, at least we?re doing something. And I see that there will be pay-offs if this works out?better education, which will lead to better employment opportunities, and thus better socio-economic status eventually. But One Laptop Per Child isn?t quite the same as No More Infant Deaths From Poverty and Poor Living Conditions. I can?t help but think that these laptop are going to go to the children who can manage to go to schools with uniforms, and state-run academies, and not reach out to the children dying from dysentery, HIV, TB, or the many other illnesses that are rife in third-world countries.
  3. I'm refusing to vote until you add the politically correct "Prefer not to answer" option. Which is doubly amusing because it is in itself an answer, and because you know you're helping to screw up any official data results that may come from it.
  4. Seriously? JT is an antiboner? I gotta admit, I think he's pretty hot. Ok, maybe not. He's kind of cute in a scruffy puppy kind of way and he doesnt turn me on, but I did like several songs off his latest album, and as hetero as JT & 50 Cent's song with Timbaland is, I kinda like A'yo Technology. There's this hot scene in the music video where JT is on one side of the door and a girl is on the other and they're pretty much having sex through the door. And then they're both on once side and not kissing, but almost, in that sort-of pre-kiss waiting moment that makes you shiver and your neck ache and your lips almost hurt because it's not quite there, but almost and then-- Ahem. Where was I? Right. JT. The Shrek-ified version is kind of floppy, droopy, lame looking. Doesn't really do it for me.
  5. That movie left me totally disquieted and... unsure. There was a LOT of misogyny and sexism and some scenes/lines that made me feel pretty uncomfortable to be a man. But I'm also pretty sure that was the point. That scene you mention, with the killing and the screwing and the screwing while killing and the more killing and the orgasm--that was really... weird. Yeah, I'm not sure how to talk about all that. But he seems to be a pretty good shooter (Ironically, the title of another movie with a hot male lead and lots of guns. Unfortunately, though, not such a good film.). I should mention also that Steve Buttz and No-name Buttkiss may have had their names altered in an effort to protect identity out of sheer politeness. Their emails may also have been reworded to create a more general, and less targeted, effect of frustrating emails. Although it is my personal suspicion that Mr. Buttz and Buttkiss may in fact be kissing cousins. Or at least plain ass-kissers.
  6. p.s. Sorry if this is in the wrong place. I didn't really know where else to put it.
  7. OK, I don't know if the individuals who emailed me even browse the forums, but on the off chance that they do, I'm going to fling this out and just go on record for saying this. Perhaps some other authors on this site and the many others, have received emails similar to this: Hey, great story so far--when are they going to have sex? Thanks Steve Buttz or: How come your story doesn't deal with AIDS or HIV? Aren't you meant to be gay? No-name Buttkiss So here's why. Gratuitous, promiscuous sex, drug abuse, and HIV are not part of my life as a gay man. I'm not saying they don't exist, and I'm not saying that they aren't serious issues that seriously need to be dealt with. (Seriously). Because they are. But they're just not issues that I've had to deal with in my experiences of being a gay man. I don't want to write about them. I don't want any part in propagating those stereotypes about gay culture, that we all go home with a different man each night (if only one), do poppers, shoot up, fuck, and then get HIV and spread it as we repeat our nightly routine (thanks the 80's, you've given us so much). I don't want to write a 'cheap fuck-read' (or should it be 'cheap-fuck read'?). If you're looking for a story dripping with sex, don't read my stories. You won't find it. Sure, there'll be the occasional sex scene. But there wont always be, and I don't feel bad about that. I don't feel there needs to be. I haven't written about an HIV+ character in any of my stories because well, what could I draw from? I don't know anyone who's positive. I don't know what it's like to live with AIDS. Until I have even a glimmer of what that kind of life is like, I'm not going to be arrogant enough to try to write about it. I feel there's so much more to gay life and gay culture than those three tropes. I'm one of those people who hates writing sentences like that even. What is 'gay life'? I have sex with men. Yeah, I guess that does make me a homosexual. But so what? I'm not sure how very different my life would be if I were straight. And yes, before you start, I am aware of how lucky I am of that fact, to enjoy that kind of an environment, and yes, I recognize that not everyone else does. But I'm not going to write about that and pretend I can give it even an ounce of authenticity. I can't, and I'm not going to try. Basically, this is what I'm trying to say; if you want a story filled with gay sex, people who do drugs, or people who suffer through HIV, don't read my stories. You won't find what you're looking for. But above all, don't email me asking where these elements are. I don't care if they were part of your experience of being gay. What the hell gives you the right to assume everyone's experience is that way? Why the hell can't there be more than one 'gay life' or 'gay experience'? Asking where's the sex already is neither constructive, nor criticism. Don't tell an author what should be in their story. It's THEIR story. It's their baby. Don't fuck with it. Right. Now that that's clear, have a chipper day.
  8. You write beautifully, and you have a 'spell-binding' name.

    Hold onto both!

    best regards,

    A.

  9. I'm Sorry, I can't forget There’s nothing I want more right now than to be with you. But I don’t think that can ever happen again We’ve both said things We’ve both burnt bridges And I don’t know if they can be re-built this time. Maybe I didn’t appreciate you until you were gone. Maybe it does take this much to make you think How much people mean. I want to argue That I ended it before, fast and quick so it didn’t drag on That what you’ve done, slowly driving the blade deeper each day Is worse. But it’s not. They’re both the same. You asked why I didn’t care this much before. I did I did. But I couldn’t give you what you wanted, needed. I could have—should have made the effort But I didn’t want it to be an effort. I wanted that sharp pain of separation, that warm flutter of return That blissful knowing that nothing could be better. But every time we were… something started Creeping in. That taint of knowing that it would end. That you or I would have to go, and with it all those feelings. Every time it was a gamble, when we’d have them again. So I’d start to detach, little by little. Get colder and colder, so that when it happened It wouldn't be such a shock to feel you gone. When you asked me, and I said “I love you. But I don’t know if I’m in love with you still,” It was true, I didn’t know. But that was my way of saying Help me find out, don’t leave me wondering if I do Or if I don’t. You should know, it’s the things I love most That I treat the worst. I hurt them, I tease them, I ignore them. I push the limits until it snaps, and then I think I know Ah, that’s how much they love me back. It’s destructive and stupid, I know. But how much of me ever made sense? You’re trying to move on, I’m trying to move on Trying But not really. Every time we talk, I can’t help but think Of all those things he’ll do for you That I once did instead Of all those things you’ll do for him That you once did for me. You’re a cunt for moving on so quickly, and The way you did, right in front of me I’m a cunt for cutting you out. And the truth is, I know you were just trying To bury your feelings in something else To take the edge off, take the pain away But you should know by now, when I get hurt I turn away. I cut things out. I don’t let the pain keep coming. You self-destruct and I lash out. Yes, I wanted to upset you. But I also wanted you to know I still felt strongly enough to wish those punishments on you. I wanted to upset you. I wanted you to feel Every ounce of what I was feeling In my ignorance, my stupidity, I never thought That you already had For weeks. I said I cut you out— It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right —But I couldn’t keep seeing you with him Not while I still felt such a longing for you Not while all I thought about at night Was that if you were here, we could make this all better Not while I wanted to be the only one To ever be for you. I cut you out so I wouldn’t have to watch. I thought maybe, I could cut the pain away If only I went to the source. I don’t let the pain keep coming. But it does. You’ve infected me to the point That flights of fancy, Rings of thought, Half-contemplated suicides Creep into me at every hour. I wanted a coma, so you’d feel bad So you’d rush to me and I’d wake up for you. But it didn’t come. I’m too afraid of pills or blades, too afraid for jumping And well… meditation didn’t do more than lead to naps. I took to praying the other night That you’d be happy, taken care of Just as long as you were safe. I wanted to be the better man and say “As long as he’s happy this way” But I’m not. I’m not the better man, and I don’t want you happy that way I want you to be happy my way, with me. Your heart was never enough I needed you as well. You said that wasn’t helpful to you And it’s not helpful to me But I keep feeling it Every day. So until I stop, I have to cut you out. I don’t want to do it. I want to talk And more. So much more. Maybe someday you’ll forgive me Although I realize, probably not. And you’re right, We’ve both said things That can never now be forgot. I’m sorry.
  10. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK8yHFqLaPI I'm pretty sure this isn't in all seriousness. But I thought it warranted a chuckle.
  11. Since finishing the 7th HP, I've run across two reviews which seemed to, well... have a "magic" touch. The first is more of a parody of the book itself, and appeared in the Guardian newspaper http://books.guardian.co.uk/digestedread/s...2133299,00.html The other appeared in the New York Times and was written by a man who has the curious ability to make me want to punch him in the face half the time, and whole-heartedly agree with him the other half: Christopher Hitchens. I happen to be of the latter opinion on this particular subject. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/12/books/re...mp;em=&en=2
  12. as much as i think he was a horrible person, i wouldn't wish death or hell on anyone... Frankly, the fact that he died still so respected by many right-wingers is more bothersome. My wish is that he'd been exposed in some scandal or discredited in some way before his death. That said though, I'm counting down the days on Fred Phelps.
  13. Today is the DAY OF SILENCE. Start Time: Wednesday, April 18, 2007 at 12:00am End Time: Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 12:00am Location: EVERYWHERE The Day of Silence is an annual youth-led protest of discrimination, prejudice and bullying in schools. Individuals are encouraged to take a vow of silence for the day in order to echo the voices of those who have been silenced because of their sexuality, gender identity or difference. Here's a youtube video about the history of the Day of Silence: feel free to take part, even if you're not a student.
  14. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP79baPnZFk thank you Boston Legal!
  15. I don't believe I ever saw this questionable question asked... and I think the Dude gave you the go-ahead. So now I'm itching to know... what was it?
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