Tanuki Racoon

I did and they did. Thanks for peeling them off, arsemunch.

Hi: Perhaps you remember me. I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV. This is my first post in a long, long time. About 7 months. The gestation period for a raccoon is only 63 days. What does this tell you? Nothing. Except that my sense of humour is more or less intact. I'll be honest, I almost didn't come back -- I figured nobody missed me. But Dude Trevor tried to convince me otherwise. I have no idea why he still puts up with me. I came under an hour ago to one private message dated 9 August 2009. Wow. The crowd really did miss me. It's okay, though, I still missed some of you guys/gals. That or maybe it was gas. It's so hard to tell. Coming back was a difficult decision and there are many complex emotions involved, none of which I'll go into detail about. My return will happen in several steps. My return is subject to one condition. No questions about anything in the past. None. From anyone. Seriously. I'd rather leave and stay gone that go into that. No emails, IMs, PMs, or even posts here and so on that touch upon anything prior to now. Let the past stay dead and let this be the final word on it? Okay. You can ask about my past writings but only by posting here in this forum. In fact, I'll answer the first question before anyone asks with a "Maybe" -- that question is "Will your writings return?" That's about step five or so. But I'm considering it. Some of my works won't return. I am not currently writing. I am not currently editing. I am currently thinking. If you're a smart arse, you may say "there's a first for everything." I have been told that there were a lot of posts about me in my absence. I did not come here (or anywhere) during that time and as such I did not read them, nor will I. I will not go back prior to the date and time before this post. If you feel I should read something that happened between my departure and now, you can provide me a link to the post, but make sure I won't see something that violates my one condition.. I hope the moderators here will take care of any replies or future posts that violate my condition before I see them. In time, perhaps I will drop said condition but not for a long, long time. I thank you for your forbearance. I thank you more for winning Powerball tickets. Why did I come back? Hemorrhoids. No, wait, that's not it. Rabies! No. Not that either. It certainly wasn't the guy who runs this site. What's his name? Shit, I can't even remember. Dude Trevor or something like that. It's hard to be serious sometimes. I'm sure you realize it's not always in my nature. Ok, seriously, though I am back in very, very small doses. I'll probably come around once a week or so for the next few months. After I feel a bit comfortable, I may even post a bit more often. I will catch up on some reading after a few months more. Maybe I missed a few of you. I deny all such allegations and claim to know nobody here. Especially not Dude Trevor Um, do I need three? I want to skip step three. I've been told orangutan fur can cure hemorrhoids. I may eventually return to other sites. This is my original home and this is where I'm returning first. (I sincerely hope Tim forgives me. I tried to talk to him but have been unable to contact him.) Once I'm settled wherever I want to go, I will begin to take on small editing jobs. After editing jobs, I will discuss my old writings and re-releasing them Finally, I'll talk about new writing too. The epic I was writing was lost due to a hard drive issue. I was very far in to it and I am pretty upset over that, but I'll recover. I do wish to thank a few people with whom I've had limited contact in my absence. Only I won't name names. I've exchanged some email and IMs with people the past few weeks which helped me make this decision. I hope it's the right one. This post is rambling and disjointed, but since it's the first one in a long while, I hope you forgive me. My YIM and AIM and AOL E-mail remain unchanged. As do my underwear.

Yay

DownloadHelper (Firefox extension) does this automatically. Click and done. Works with many other sites as well.

Indeed, it's what Raccoons use to listen to AD Radio.

Indeed.

Well I'd settle for Rupert but I'd much rather have Daniel. Then again they're both far too young for me.

We used to have someone else here named Camy. Haven't seen him in ages. Is this a coincidence?

That's not me. I'd be "least favourite"

"Cranial Rectal Inversion"

Emo Three Er, Me Three

Thanks for that. The article summarizes 90% of what I heard, but what I found amazingly useful were the many links in the article.

I want to thank Dude for the 24hr radio tribute. I turned it on and the first song was my very favourite one "Another Part of Me"

I have met Mr Jackson before (briefly) and will tell you he seemed pretty odd but he was friendly in our 30 second encounter. Say whatever you want about this unusual man but he's a singular talent.

Let me know what you think.

I started watching the video and couldn't finish :(

Step One: DRAFT WRITE OF NOVEL Started 21 March 2009, Saturday, 201pm Chapter One: Finished 20 April, Apx 6900 words. Chapter Two: Finished 3 May, Apx 5400 words [12300 rt] Chapter Three: Finished 9 May 2009, Apx 3500 words. [15800 rt] Chapter Four: Finished 25 May 2009, Apx 4500 words. Chapter Four: Finished 30 May 2009, Apx 6400 words. [22200 rt] Chapter Five: Finished 14 June 2009, Apx 5100 words. Chapter Five: Finished 14 June 2009, Apx 5400 words. [27600 rt] I added a few hundred words to chapter five to make it flow better. Six will begin soon.

"Every muscle in my body is revolting" -- perhaps you should pull down your trousers and massage it.

Started 21 March 2009, Saturday, 201pm Step One: DRAFT WRITE OF NOVEL Chapter One: Finished 20 April, Apx 6900 words. Chapter Two: Finished 3 May, Apx 5400 words [12300 rt] Chapter Three: Finished 9 May 2009, Apx 3500 words. [15800 rt] Chapter Four: Finished 25 May 2009, Apx 4500 words. Chapter Four: Finished 30 May 2009, Apx 6400 words. [22200 rt] Chapter Five: Finished 14 June 2009, Apx 5100 words. [27300 rt]

OMG! You sound like an adult. Perish the thought.

Welcome back, stranger.

I thought some of you here might be interested in a very talented and gifted writer I came across earlier this year. He's finally gotten around to posting some of his stories on-line. He has a real talent for writing, and if you're looking for something you might want to try his stories. The link to them is here: http://www.triond.com/users/JJ+Patton I've had the good fortune to read a few things he hasn't posted. I've read Raleigh which is posted. He's also got a new one, Casualty of War, which is posted but I haven't even got to yet, but I will soon. Check 'em out, says the crazy raccoon

The crux is she screwed him AND outed him to his entire family.

http://www.fmylife.com/money/2796619 This saddens me. How crushing and cruel all at once.

I'll reply here (he's moved this from another place) again. Wow. <--- my original reply Fucking Wow <--- my new reply Yeah. What a fantastically told story and amazingly poignant.