Tanuki Racoon

So, I am working on my new novel. I've received a few inquiries. It's a new genre for me. It'll have at least one person who is younger. It's going to be my longest story ever -- at least that's the plan. I aim to break the 100,000 word barrier, beating AWMS:DC by a good 6,000 words. I'm going to post progress reports for your amusement. Started 21 March 2009, Saturday, 201pm Step One: DRAFT WRITE OF NOVEL Chapter One: Finished 20 April, Apx 6800 words. Chapter Two: Finished 3 May, Apx 5000 words Chapter Three: In Progress (barely) Estimation: 25 chapters late 2009 or early 2010 completion Step Two: RE-WRITE (when Step One Finished) Step Three: Editing Step Four: Posting I will answer limited questions via email or post Here if there's any interest but I will not discuss details of plot/etc.

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday." The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday. The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion." The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth friend returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?" The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment." The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

1. Needs lots of editing for sure. I think half of it you'd catch on a re-read 2. The flow's nice but the details are sparse -- I'll agree with the others. We can't care about your characters if we don't have a little bit. 3. I disagree with one of the poster's comments. Since we know what the father does, as readers we can guess an income range. Further the kid has his own car. They have guns about the house. All sorts of clues give us insight into the family. 4. I'd read more.

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said, "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money at all!" Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky. Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry, I have a plan, Cheers!" They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Shamus said, "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killing me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I can't even remember which pub I lost the sausage in."

Not that I know what ass tastes like, but I concur.

Orangutans do not have deep thoughts that don't involve bananas.

I don't understand, frankly. I tasted it once. It's fucking horrible.

I shall invest. The Royal Bank of Raccoon is in.

Mr Card's views on homosexuality were tamer in the day -- read Songmaster if you don't believe me. Certainly homosexuality isn't the end of the world in this novel. He's changed. I don't like him. He's a good writer and I still read his stuff.

Poetry born of pain is somehow poetic.

You are SO weird Des. Must be why I like you.

You must have been using an old Mac. In older versions of the OS you could assign memory by application. Now it's all automatic. OS9 and older had (in the info window) a memory setting that was user controllable. Shutdown is on the Apple Menu (OSX) and on older versions I don't remember but it's probably on the file menu?

I can build a PC from scratch and in college I repaired them for a living. I'm a geek. Hell, I can solder parts onto a motherboard without flinching. So I know PCs and like Pec, I've used both. I own a Windoze laptop. You don't have to configure a Mac's memory. In fact, I'm not sure you CAN. I'm confused by that one point. What's upsetting to us Mac people is the fact that people continue to bash Macs who clearly have absolutely no clue about them. (There are a segment of Mac people that return the favour). You shut a Mac down the same way you do a PC. You select SHUT DOWN and then it shuts down and turns off. One menu choice. You have the START menu we have the APPLE menu.

This was in YESERDAY'S Business Week. Pretty much makes your argument (which perpetuates a myth that hasn't been true for years) moot: http://www.businessweek.com/technology/con...ws+%2B+analysis Have a nice day :)

I fucking hate you. I almost pissed my pants.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123964842562214381.html Amazon Claims it's a glitch. I don't believe it and even the Wall Street Journal casts some doubt on the claim. See above.

There will be no photos posted. I think maybe a few of you have seen a photo of me but that's not something I'd post under this identity.

Yeah. I actually wrote it before I asked this question. Bart, that's spot on.

All interesting posts. I must say I am still undecided more because it's fascinating what you all read into my post that's not even there. I dunno what to do.

There would be no way for them to post. It'd be on my website somewhere (see original post). I don't give a flying fuck about looks really.

(This is serious. No joking in this thread.) So, since I started posting, I've gotten random emails from readers who really want to meet me. I don't mean the "You are so cool, I just want to meet you to see what an awesome person wrote this" type emails. I mean the MEET type e-mails, you know for drinks and such. I am not into hook-ups at all. I must be clear on that. I am a ONE PERSON raccoon and it tends to last a long, long, long time. I want my friendships and relationships to be forever. So, where I'm going is: I've been toying with posting what I look for on my website. Not to attract people but to keep most of these emails away with a "go read this" figuring most of 'em will never come back which would be great. But wouldn't it be neat if maybe one day someone I'm compatible with contacts me? (Yeah, after so many decades, I won't hold my breath.) Is this a good idea or not? WHY.

Stupid crime scene "artists rendering" BUSTED

Y'all hate when people discriminate against those of different sexual persuasions, but you think it's okay to have at the raccoon population? Fine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u95a3Kp8lkg You need to watch this. You need to share it with your friends. BRAVO!

Yeah, that's all true. I am proud to have been associated with this site for a long, long time. I often forget how long. Raccoons don't always have the best of memories. It's been an interesting time for me. I know I've grown as an author, received helpful advice from some of you, and been through a lot. I've even made some solid on-line friends here, which is amazing since I don't make friends easily, and, well, I don't like people so much either. This site has grown, too, and it's become a repository of some very fine fiction and even some non-fiction. We've seen a number of our members emerge as authors, and I think it's a testament to this site's community and denizens of various species/ And, as an author, I want to thank Dude for actually letting me make this my home. This wasn't the first place I was posted, nor is it the only place, but it is my home since I moved in -- well before I was known as that damned raccoon. Thanks Dude!