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Jason Rimbaud

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Posts posted by Jason Rimbaud

  1. I have just discovered this story because of this thread. I made myself a promise that I would read every new post made here at AD, and try at least one story recommendation a week. And I have just finished all twelve chapters of this featured story. 

    The comments made by other members intrigued me, especially regarding this unique ending to this tale.  So I decided to jump in and see what the fuss was about. 

    I must admit, that after three chapters, I was struggling to continue. The narrative is filled with angst for angst sakes and made up drama that I don't believe anyone would truly behave in that manner. The upside to this little tale, the chapters are very short so knocking it out in an hour is easy. But I can't seem to think of a reason to continue the story after the first chapter.

    The main character is neurotic to a point that makes the narrative flip between lust and then some esoteric notion sometimes in the same sentence. The secondary characters aren't realized as complete characters either, simply a vessel for the thin plot to develop.

    This seems like a writing exercise more than a completely thought out premise. I believe I understand what the author was trying to convey, but maintaining a spoiler free comment, I will just say the author failed to make it intriguing. Plus the ending was less than a wrap up of ideas or themes and more like the author said, "I'm done with this exercise and its time to move on now."

    This tale was not for me, and it wasn't written for me so kudos to the author for completing the story. He's done more than I have in the last ten or so years so what do I know.

    J

  2. On 8/2/2021 at 6:37 PM, Cole Parker said:

    Jason's always been among the most talented we have here.  It's a pleasure whenever he gets off his duff and writes!

     

    C

    Two years ago I was about finished with a post apocalyptic story centered around a dam in oregan. And my USB drive fell out of my bag and was run over. It was heartbreaking. It had all my stories, ides, unfinished product. Nothing was backed up.  
     

    I have tried recreating what I lost but I couldn’t so I shelved that story and moved on.  
     

    since I have been writing something new in between a very busy life. I have 86 pages written, about 33k words.  This one is set in Florida keys.  So Cole, I’m writing again. Consider me off my duff.  
     

    J

  3. 4 hours ago, James K said:

    There are quite a few stories recycled in the recommended list, but I would like to ask if anyone has a story they would recommend which is not about children, teenagers, or high school. I find it difficult to seek out gay themed stories that are adult. I am open to any genre, thriller, mystery, drama, whatever, but not the trials and tribulations of teens: abused teens, coming out teens, bullied teens, adopted teens, etc. etc. 😊

    Truth…I very rarely read anything about teenagers…or watch shows about teenagers…to quote MCR…teenagers scare the living shit out of me…

     

    J (the unhelpful one)

  4. Hiya JK,

    it’s an interesting piece of prose, much like a stream of consciousness. I enjoyed Matthews POV better, Jeff’s seemed redundant as we already got the sentiment earlier on in the piece. 
     

    The safe sex thing doesn’t bother me either because it’s your choice as the author to tell a story anyway you wish. 
     

    and though I would never disagree with the emu publicly, let’s say I’ve been in matthew’s shoes and didn’t need lube to enjoy myself.

    as for difficulty in relaying Jeff’s feeling/emotions/thoughts, dialogue between the two could fix that rather easily. With a few edits in tone and structure, you could really bring in more emotion, having the characters emote through conversation can be helpful to convey  feelings without the flowery imagery. But it’s all about what the desired affect you were intending. 

    As it is now, documenting a moment in time so to speak, I think it works as a stand alone piece. I don’t see a need to continue the narrative nor a desire to continue reading unless it shifted in structure and style. 
     

    im interested in seeing more of your work, as the two of you have a voice and the understanding of imagery.  
     

    my thoughts, before I got distracted by fuzzy bunny slippers, 

     

  5. Seeing that I am currently studying World War 2 as told through Japanese history and point of view, I am loving this. If anyone listens to Podcasts, Hardcore History is one of my favorites with Dan Carlin. 

    Very nice.

    J

  6. I can't stand to read pieces like this yet I can't help myself. All too tragic and heartbreaking. Especially knowing that if the powers that be wouldn't have labeled it as the gay disease, we might have saved thousands. Written well, imagery is vivid, and tragically all to real. 

     

    J

  7. I have done similar things in my past...except I never had sex with any of them. There was this homeless kid that I would occasionally allow to crash at my apartment, take a shower, wash his clothes, have some food. Though he was upfront and more than willing to "pay" for his visits, I never took him up on the offer. 

    those were more interested times for this weirdo

    J

  8. I am going to get political...gingers are hot!  

    And seeing as I married an Indian born in Malaysia, I tend to think brown is a beautiful color as well.

    But then I think all colors are beautiful...except blue and red. Not beautiful colors at all. (my political statement)

    J

  9. So many friends in the early nineties disappeared so fast.

    To this day, the young people that work for me ask me what it was like back then, and sometimes I can't say anything but frightful. Unless you lived through it, much like what I imagine war would be like, you can't make someone else understand. Tragic in so many ways.

    J

  10. It was summer, June 2000, when Greg and Mark first met on Lake Walton. Each summer after that, they would join their families for a summer vacation before parting ways for another year. It was summer, June 2000, Greg and Mark were five years old. 

    June, 2000

    "What are you doing Greg?"

    "Nothing, just go back to sleep, sorry."

    "If you keep snuggling me, I'm not going to sleep over here anymore."

    June 2005

    "Greg...what are you doing?"

    "Nothing."

    "It sure doesn't feel like nothing."

    "Just go back to sleep, Mark."

    "If you keep rubbing up against me, I'm not going to come back here next year."

    June 2010

    "Damn it, Greg."

    "What now?"

    "If you keep dry humping me when I'm asleep, I'm not coming back here again."

    June 2012

    "Jesus Christ, Greg."

    "Yes."

    "If you don't stop doing that with your mouth under the covers, I'm not coming back here again."

    June 2015

    "Oh Jesus, Greg!"

    "You like that?"

    "If you ever stop attacking me in my sleep, then I'll never come back here ever again."

     

  11. I have duel opinions about The Acquittal and its sequel, The Spaces Between Us.

    It is rather fast paced, and has some endearing characters with a plot that mostly kept my attention, at least in the first story. But on the other hand, its filled with overused tropes that does get a bit old rather quickly for me. I won't get into them as it would definitely be spoilers, though I bet most of you would see them coming a mile away.  Its also partially set in Harrisburg Pennsylvania, my home town. But if you're from there, you know the author has never been there but that's not important. My main issue is a few chapters in once I started reading the second story where I lost the drive to continue to read. Though the author is definitely better than I'll ever be, I just couldn't go on and I walked away from the story.

    I think if the author would have stopped when the first story ended, I would have a different opinion of this saga.

    That being said, you won't be angry at yourself if you read this, it just wasn't for me.

    J

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