[Daniel and I part ways]

Hey Camy:What exactly does Gobsmacked mean? I know what jealous means. I'm used to emu's being jealous of me. But I don't think I want an emu being Gobsmacked of me/by me/around me.As for finding a stud, I wish you luck with that. I seem to remember you mentioning three pairs of jeans, a few T-shirts, and one decent pair of trainers, but much to my surprise, and maybe why you're having trouble finding a stud, you failed to mentioned underwear. Might I suggest you look into purchasing some. And as for discussing wardrobe on a blog, nobody reads my blog so it's just like you're talking to yours self about your wardrobe. As for Desdownunder's comments:I've never heard that quote before, but I really like. "To be alive is to take off your pants and look for trouble."And for Trab:Maybe I can prove that I really don't have a problem, or a severe problem. I have nine wallets, different styles and colors to match what I'm wearing of course. A boy can't wear a nice suit and not have a wallet to match.Same goes for the Zippo lighters, different styles and colors to match what I'm wearing. Cigarette cases just because I LOVE to smoke. I'm smoking right now. and I love itThe four red bics, I can't think of a bad reason much less a good reason. I might have a problem.And that crazy racoon:How 'bout I keep all my clothes, and you come over and tell me all about those apartments. We can open a bottle of wine, maybe get into my fine cigars and do a little bit of chit and chat in the hottub. But lets leave out the skin crawling part. *shudders*

[(8) Indian Summer in Adelaide]

A bit off topic, but I still can't wrap my small mind around that right now, you are moving into winter, where I am finally moving into spring and summer. This seems somehow backwards to me. Though you paint a pretty picture of fall in Adelaide and I wish I could see it. But I think its still weird. Jason R.

[Entry 4: Proofing a story.]

One question if I may: You mentioned only if "they" were cute would you purchase the ticket. My question, who decides who's cute and who's not. My mother once upon a time thought I was cute. Does that mean I might apply for cute if I would find an error? And if you are the deciding vote on who's cute and who's not, how do we know you have good taste in men? Maybe you actually like ugly men, then that wouldn't be fair as I am quite striking. I don't think you are being very fair at all. Not at all. Jason R.

[Entry 4: Proofing a story.]

Oh Des, how little you know us bloggers. I should probably let you slide as you are new to this whole blogging thing. But take my word,and offer of sex to all those who find errors in your work is like dropping off a case of cheap Scotch in the middle of an AA "meeting". More than one will ponder over each story you write, including your blog entries, and even if they have to make something up, they willpoint it out and expect payment. My only hope for you is if you have a large enough bank account to cover all the plane tickets you'll bepurchasing on your credit card in the days to come. Even though I took it upon myself to warn you of making such casual statements, I am evenas I type this going over each and every story you have posted online in hopes of seeing the land down under one day soon. Good luck on your new blog and I can't wait for your new April Fool's story to post. Jason R.

[Some stuff.]

You welcome.

[Some stuff.]

Ah, Camy, Do you really steal underwear from your friends? Is that some kind of British practice I've never heard of? Ele civil,Since you are new to this "adult or mature" mode of dress, I thought I'll help you out and lay it all out for you. Step by step.Number One: Upon first entering the store, preferably men's clothing store, of course you made choose whichever one best fitsyour personal tastes. For this purpose, lets pretend you pick mens clothing. Once inside the clothing store, find the cutest male employee, DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT, pick the employee that has the best taste in clothes. This will only lead tofeelings of inadequacy and frustration of never living up to an impossible standard. Once you find the cutest employee, wait as longas necessary for that employee to "free" up from his other customers. If he is taking a long time, puruse the rack that is advertising 50% off clothing, this will ensure no other employee will approach you as they'll think you have no money to spend and will avoid youlike the plague. Once the cutest employee is free, smile a lot and keep repeating money is no object, the clerk will see dollar signs and will do almost anything to complete the sell, even up to going into the dressing room with you to make sure the pants fit in all theright places.Number Two: Make sure, while selecting which color of suit, that not only does it match your eyes, but it will also look good crumpled on the floor of the cute clerks apartment in the morning. This is a must, do not cheap out.NUmber Three: You'll know when you've found the right suit when, all the gay men in the store stop shopping to watch you with one hand in their pants. Buy that suit, no matter how much the cost. It will be worth the money in the long run. At least I tell myself thisto justify the reason I bought a five hundred dollar suit crazy enough, this morning.Number Four: Now that you have the suit, the fun begins. The cute clerk will take you to a stage, surrounded by mirrors on three sides.He will put you in the suit to fit it to your body type. (side note, if the clerk entered the dressing room with you, wait ten minutes beforestepping on the stage to allow certain things to shrink. A lesson I learned accidentely enough, today) The cute clerk will basically gropeyou as he draws on your new suit with chalk, and though it is not necessary, he will measure your inseam, just to make sure there is ample room in the front of your trousers for certain situations should they ever arise. Number Five: Once the fitting is over, he will strip you of your now chalked suit and begin showing you different shirt and tie combinations.This is important, DO NOT settle for the first combination he shows you, even if it is the one you end up buying. The object of this game is to spend as much time with the cute clerk. Choosing the first combination only brings the ending that much sooner. Number Six: After deciding on the shirt and tie combination, now it is time for the belt. While I urge you to pick a belt that matches your shoes, it is not necessary as usually your jacket will be closed at all times makeing the belt the least important item on the list. The beltonly gives the cute clerk another reaon to stick his fingers in the waist of your pants checking if the fit is proper. Number Seven: Now comes the socks and shoes. Socks should match the suit while the shoes should accent the suit without overstating. Allow the cute clerk to slip the shoes on your feet, for those with a foot fetish this is a easy and cheap thrill that will be shared by boththe cute clerk and yourself. As it is my experience with those humans that sell mens clothing, they either secretly or openly enjoy the male figure and touching males without the pretense of sport situations, like smacking one another on the ass after a great touchdown, is replaced by concern that the wearer of the suit is most comfortable. Plain English, GAY. Not that there's anything wrong with that. And lastly, Numbr Eight: No matter how cute the clerk is, no matter how excited you are to leave that suit in a crumpled mess, do notpurchase the shoe trees. For those of you who don't know, they are devices that fit into your shoe to maintain its shape. The reason behind this, is very simple, we can't all buy five hundred dollar suits every month, shoes are much more affordable. This gives you anexcuse to return to the store every few weeks under the "guise" of maintaining nice shoes for your five hundred dollar suit. Though the cute clerk knows the reason, believe me, he'll pretend right along with you. It's a win win situation. I know you're a college student, so I'll breakdown the price item by item, this will give you an idea how long you'll have to drink really cheap beer to afford this rather expensive flirting method.Suit that makes guys get hardon's: Five hundred dollarsShirt that matches your socks: Fifty-five dollarsTie to state just how powerful and sexy you really are: Thirty dollarsBelt just to give the cute clerk a chance to stick his hands in your pants: Fifty dollarsSocks that will be hidden at all times until the cute clerk secretly sniffs them: Twenty dollars(three pack)Shoes that accent the suit without overstating: One hundred ten dollarsGetting felt up in the dressing room by cute clerk: Seven hundred and sixty-five dollarsPRICES MIGHT VARY STATE TO STATE: COUPONS AND EX-BOYFRIENDS NOT ACCEPTED AS PAYMENTI hope I have been some help to you. Good luck. Jason R.

[Finally A bit of Good News]

Wibby, Since I have a laptop I don't think I could get the screen you suggested, though I might look into buying a PCnow that my eyes go screwy. Thanks for the suggestion and the good wishes. Camy, The prospect of losing my sight was one I had never entertained before. Talk about re-thinking my entire outlook. *shudders* Anyway, I'm doing much better, thanks for the good wishes. Trab, I hope everything goes well for you, I really understand what you must be going through. I will have a Canadian, one for me and one for you. Heres hoping everything goes well. Thanks again,Jason R.

[Soft tissue on hot concrete.]

It's not like you were going out of your way to help the worms. Because if you were, that would be a wee bit strange in my book. Though now that I think about it, the spine might be broken on my book. As for knowing when I'm acting a bit crazy or strange, that's a bit tougher. Normal and strange tend to blur together for me. One day I'll get the dosage right.Don't ever change, you stay your strange/crazy pirate loving self. Everyone is just jealous of you anyway.Jason R.

[Mistaken Identity and two rolls of Toilet Paper]

Well, think about it like this Trab. It's good I don't have AS, you would not want to be lumped intoa catogory with the likes of me. I would give a bad name to AS suffers everywhere. :icon_geek:Jason R.

[One giant can of Red Bull]

Hey Camy,Happy New Years to you as well. And even if I wanted to, I don't think I could ever label myself. With all my different personalities, that damn label would change from moment to moment. I'd spend my whole life using my handy dandy label making machine. And where I'm not opposed to labeling my CD collection or my five hundred pairs of underwear, labeling my life would just be too big of an undertaking.As for Trab's comments, I'd never want you to change. If it works for you, I say attack that syndrome with a passion. And even if you fail, you could always blame the failure on something. Just kidding, I'm not making fun of your condition, just teasing you because I like you.Happy New Year to everyone (except that crazy weird lady from the smoke shop) I really don't care if you burn in hell. And your little dog too. (first reference on my blog to the Wizard of Oz) Maybe I'm not really gay. Damn labels.Jason

[Frequently Asked Questions]

You see Camy, this is what you start with all your damn cameras. If you sell any pictures,I want some of the profits. You...you...emu...you.Hey Graeme, whatever Camy charges, I'll give you half again better. Plus a live show. Go 49er's!!!!!! Jason R.

[Frequently Asked Questions]

Camy---obnoxious emuThere was a very good reason I did not answer your questions, Camy. I was waiting until I heard back frommy lawyer. You remember why, right? Did you not think I'd find the cameras you peppered myhouse with? I understand the cameras in my room, who wouldn't want to see me dancing around the room in my lucky 49er's underwear. And I can see, if I squint hard enough, the cameras in the bathroom. Boy's and bubble baths go hand in hand. But the camera in my sock drawer, that's just going to fucking far. But for the sake of everyone else, I'll answer the questions you, no doubt, already know the answer too. Matching socks, unlike others I could name, all my socks match, and I have about.........a drawer full. As for the colour/color of my kitchen, I don't think that's any of your business. It's white and blue, 'cause I like emu's. And I do agree, about the frogs that is, and I'll tell you what it means. But not today, you've been a very bad emu and you need to be punished. Jason R.

[Moonlight Will Prevail Conclusion]

Hey Bart,With the help of, Susan, I'm beginning to come to grips with "all" my past. Though itsalways hard around the holiday season, I've spent too many Christmas's alone. Luckily, my roommate, Daniel, has adopted me so to speak and his family makes me welcome.Though I must admit, I save a ton of money. Buying presents for three is a tad bit cheaperthan buying for eight. Until next time,Jason R.

[Being Gay Sucks]

Probably the best advice I'll ever get, Writebymyself. I wish I could forget my family but sometimes I think I need to get to know this masochist thats stolen my first name. Then there are times my life is perfect. Being gay is difficult but being a liar is worse. So I'll stand up proudand tall. God is the ultimate judge and I have more than enough trouble taking care of myself to worry about those that hate me. Cheers you cuddly raccoon.Jason R.

[Attachment vs No-attachment]

That's what I was talking about. Thanks for giving me the proper term. I feel like an ass yet again.I had forgotten the medical term. THat's what happens when you drink too much. Jason R.