Jason Rimbaud

Not to be out done by Camy and his forgotten hard-drive pieces that he selfishly dribbles out here and there as he "discovers them", I searched through my "hard-drive" and found a poem that "somehow" managed to evade getting posted. Not one of my better pieces, that's probably why I decided to bury it in the layers of shit that covers my computer. But seeing as I haven't posted a new poem in months... *shrugs* If you have a mind, check it out in the Poetry Forum, it's called Boy With Dancing Eyes. Or don't...because as Wibby is fond of saying... Jason

Boy With Dancing Eyes By: Jason Rimbaud Written July 13th, 2007 He speaks to me in riddles And assures me that he loves me This boy with dancing eyes And though I barely know him I can't help but love him And trust him with my heart I wished I never kissed him Because now I can't resist him This boy with dancing eyes And now when he whispers Take me to your bed again The way you did last night Promising everthing will be okay He holds my heart dangerously tight But when I'm inside it feels so right "It's been over twenty four hours And I already miss him laying next to me I cling to his pillow and choke back the tears He still hasn't called And he didn't show up for work today I hope he's all right and wish he wasn't It's like going through withdraw My body aches for his touch and causes anger Beating myself blind does little to ease the tension Still no word from him And I'm beginning to clear away the lies Finally I see his words for what they are A new me emerges to the light For the first time in five days I slept without crying And the world is strangely clear and bright I think I'm finally over him The stronger me overtaking the weaker self And I stand tall and face those that doubted It's two Am and the doorbell rings Before I open it I know it's him my pulse races He stands before me and I let him inside" This morning I wake covered with cum and sweat Our bodies are entwined and I wonder why I chose to believe this boy with dancing eyes Because now I can finally see our future And there is no happy endings Just the two of us and our wasted life And I promise that it will be all right And that everything will finally work out I sink into the powder and suddenly I'm not okay

This comes under the heading of short and sweet. Questions, doubts, fears, seem to fade when eyes fall on the one that truly does complete them. Jason

Methinks I'm not the only one that struggles with demons of addiction. Or maybe as an addict, I read into the words what most connects with my mind and thoughts. Either way, a powerful piece that has me quietly contemplating my life. Brilliant. Jason

Hmm, a heartbreaking ending to a tale as old as time itself. Who among us has not crushed on a straight friend in High School. I sense the sadness in the protagonist as he struggles to find a way to put this behind him and come to terms with the longing that was never meant to be. Truly wrenching to observe. Jason

Xzor64, The protagonist takes us on the journey of sexual awakening with stark images, vivid descriptions and highly charged erotica. A truly great poem, though I do have issues with the title... Throughout the piece, the reader is lulled into believing he is witnessing something private and meant only for the two involved. This gives us the feeling of voyeurism and almost makes us guilty for peeking into this private moment. Then like a masterful poet, the piece turns and in the end you are left breathless at the realization this is nothing but a dream...a fantasy. From the title, I knew from the beginning where the piece was heading, and I believe if you change the title to something more ambiguous, the end will grip the reader all the more powerful. Of course this is just my opinion and I'm known for being wrong most of the time. Great piece, I truly enjoyed reading it. Jason

Am I the only one that is up-set by this article? For the supreme court to rule that it is illegal for a doctor to withhold care based on religious beliefs, even when that care is not a life or death issue, is a slippery slope to complete government control and only a few steps away from a future straight out of some science fiction writer's mind about a bleak future. Reading the above quote, the Doctor or doctor's gave the lady all the tools she would need to have babies, and even went as far as referring another Doctor who had no moral objections. Not to get off topic, but I wouldn't have knocked her up either, we have to many kids in the world as it is and one of the blessings of being gay is you can't get a dude pregnant. I'm not saying that a Doctor should turn away any person when that person's life is on the line, but clearly this was not the case. I don't know these Doctor's but from the above article, they don't seem to be uncaring or hateful. I get this from the above quote, they gave her the tools, they gave her the knowledge, the only thing they refused was the actual act of knocking her up. One of the things I despise about the gay community, is the creating of situations that are better left alone. If the Doctor watched as someone died because that person was gay, then by all means, prosecute to the fullest. But how dare the Court rule that a Doctor must ignore his basic moral or religious beliefs. The religious right are the enemy, I agree as they spit hatred and murderous language against anyone that is different. And I also agree that the Gay activists are also the enemy, as they refuse to allow another person to follow their beliefs. Both of these parties I despise. What ever happened to minding your own business. You can not tell me that in California, this lady couldn't find another doctor to perform this procedure. Why did she have to make a case out of something that is none of her concern? The more freedom we take away from the opposing point of view, the more freedom we give away for our own side. Where will the line be drawn? I believe that the average American truly doesn't care whether or not anyone is gay. Matter of fact, even those that are opposed to the gay lifestyle for religious reasons are still tolerant enough to mind their own business. I know several people who for religious purposes think gays are going to hell yet they also believe it is their right to do what they wish. Forcing others to believe like you is the worst kind of close-minded behavior. We accuse the religious right of this behavior and condemn them for their beliefs. We are no better, or at least, those that bring up stupid cases like this are no better. They aren't making the world a better place for gays, they are creating more problems in the long run. We will never learn to live together if we continue to create division with the breeders. We always say we want/demand to be accepted yet we continually refuse to accept others for their beliefs. It's no wonder why breeders hate us, all we show them is hate in return. Jason

Trust Cole to bring a smile to my face even on my worst day. I just read the above comment and couldn't stop laughing. Thanks Cole,Jason

Umm, Des. As all of us here know you never speak with your tongue attached to your cheek. We take everything you say in the exact manner as you meant it. Jason

Can I have your stuff?Jason (who doesn't wear fuzzy bunny slippers...EVER)

Thanks Wibby, I didn't know about the five people rating thingy. I guess it just took me a while to get five people to rate me.As for who has the best Blog, I believe your opinion is the only one that matters. :)Jason

Hey Des,I think I can answer part of your question. The one part regarding why certain blogs have no votes, or at least why we can't see the votes they may have.I believe, or at least I think, the votes and rating system doesn't show up until the Blog in question reaches Three Thousand views. Or at least I couldn't see my rating until after my Blog reached that number.As for how people rate each Blog, I think that varies from person to person. *shrugs*Jason

Trab, you say over and over again that you have no talent for writing. I want to take this time to publicly say you are sadly mistaken. You have a talent for descriptive narrative that delights me and frustrates me at the same time. In the many years I've attempted to write, I still haven't found the voice for such magnificent description as you show time and time again. A blind man could see the emotion you felt as you sat in that field, sharing a moment with a stranger. You take us on a ride each time you share these pieces and I thank you. Masterfully written my friend. Jason

Trab, I have been having trouble coming up with something to reply to this piece. And that doesn't happen often, as usually I can always find something to say. I believe, knowing a little bit about your personality and your battle with AS, that you meant this piece to show how easy it is for a person to lose themselves in petty day to day problems without looking at the big picture. And in this way, this piece makes perfect sense and I fully understand what you were trying to convey. But I wonder if the casual reader might interpret this piece a bit differently. As I did upon first reading. I wonder, if you are so incline to want a differing opinion, to do a bit of re-writing on the last paragraph to soften the blow of your brother's accident. Because I believe as it stands, it seems you are a bit callous in relaying these events in a cold dispassionate manner that is so far off the true nature I know you are comprised of. Of course, this is my opinion and means nothing. Jason

Richard, I can't ever remember having a conversation like the one you describe. Mainly because the moment I hear that little voice start, I automatically do whatever he is advising against. I learned many years ago that self-doubt robs you of living life to the fullest and choose to live come what may. Of course, I've done many stupid things over the years but I can say with all honesty, I've lived a great life. Jason

Trab, what vivid imagery. I am one that has never swam in any ocean, lake, stream or pond. Being scared to death of diseases, animals, and who knows what else lives in our planet's ocean, I can so relate to your fear of being attacked by sharks. This is why I only swim in private swimming pools, and rarely in public ones. Shudders Anyway, I do like the gentle way your writing flows. Jason

Thank you Adam, Such kind words from a fellow poet and masterful writer that delves into the darker side of humanity. Thanks ever so much. Jason

Des, What a remarkable bit of writing, the dialog was so smooth and seamless I had to double check if I was peeking into the bedroom of two real life humans instead of reading a flash fiction. Very good writing Des. Jason

You have no idea how bad I'd like to take her out in a dark alley one moonless night and teach her the better manners of minding her own fucking business. I knew she would cause problems for Mark, but I never thought she'd go as far as outing him to his mother. What a bitch.Jason

If there's anything I hate today, I would have to say girls, text messaging, and close-minded bigots that hold on to the Bible like a drowning man holds on to a life preserver in a storm-swept ocean. How the fuck does that affect what happened between Mark and I last week, my reader might ask? It's good that you ask, because I'm about to explain it to you in my usual round-about meandering way. So last we peeked into my life, I was having trouble with a certain nerdy gay boy that wished to seduce me in the worst kind of way. We also found out that Mark and I had decided to keep our relationship on the down-low for a few different reasons. Since that time, so many things has transpired I've been playing catch-up all week just to comprehend the life changing events of a single incident. I've always found it simply amazing how one tiny event can snowball into a gigantic cluster-fuck of situations, sweeping up all those connected into swirling mess of shit. It's not fair, not to me, not to Mark, and not to you, my faithful reader. Since I don't have a lot of time to explain, I must go to work in an hour, and my usual taking three or four hour's to construct entries just won't work today. So I'll move fast. Remember that little party Mark and I attended a few weeks ago, the one where he decided to kiss me in front of a few people? You do, that's good, this will make things all the more easier. (For those of you that have no clue what I'm referring too, just go back a few entries and you'll have the chance to catch up. It's Okay, I'll wait.) After that party, our relationship solidified and we existed, more or less, in a state of bliss, domestic, sexual, and any other kind of bliss you might imagine. It seems, one of the attendee's of that party, is a casual acquaintance of Mark's ex-girlfriend, you remember her don't you, the cum-dumster, blow-up doll, arm-candy chick? Well, this casual acquaintance wanted to improve his status by becoming a bit closer than just casual acquaintance, so he told her about the events that night, I'm sure with no other motive than trying to get into her pants. Needless to say, she did not take that news well. Matter of fact, she took it as a personal affront to her femininity and decided to call Mark's mother and spill the news that her only son was a faggot. And since she knew what Mark's mother thought of me, she probably danced around her apartment in glee knowing the mess of shit she was starting by relaying this information to a woman who wants nothing more than to have as many grandchildren as Mark's poor balls could produce. Earlier that day, at work, Mark and I had discussed that party, somewhat ironically now that I think about it, and how it felt good to show his affection in front of people he considered friends. Oh, one of his closet friends was a bit upset, not because Mark was gay, matter of fact this friend's mother is gay, no he was more upset that Mark hadn't trusted him enough to tell him sooner. This small bump was smoothed over rather quickly, and Mark was flying high, so to speak. Apparently, after Mark arrived home from work, his mother was waiting for him, crying of course. Mark hasn't really given me all the details, and even if he did, I don't think I would share them here, but to make this long story short, Mark ended up at my house, drunk and high off his ass, crying like a baby, and pretty much destroyed. Discovering one's son is gay must be a difficult thing to accept for a Mother, a Christian mother, even though I believe she's had her suspicions, making those supposes into reality must be hard. She was pissed, heartbroken, angry, concerned for his well-being, loving, accepting in her way, and generally confused and falling apart. So Mark had been staying with me since last week, they talk on the phone every day, and I believe they love each other way to much for this to drive them apart, but I did agree that the best thing for everyone involved was to give them a bit of space to adjust to this new bit of information. And quite happily, they have managed to restructure their relationship, and last night, Mark went home for the first time in a week. This made me quite happy, I'm used to living alone, and though I believe I love Mark, neither one of us are ready to move in together just yet. Plus, being such a mommas boy, this rift was slowly destroying him. I'm sure they have a long road to walk down but they both are trying and I have high hopes. A few days after his mother found out, Mark and I were at work when one of the servers suddenly asked why Mark was wearing one of my necklace's. This was a piece that he saw in my jewelry box and basically claimed it for his own. He said he wanted it to feel closer to me when I wasnt around. He hasn't take it off since, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy bunny slippers. Before I could say anything, Mark put his arm around my shoulders, and said, and I quote, "Because we're fucking." And he kissed my cheek. Somewhat surprising for me, everyone was completely shocked, I didn't realize how good we had become at hiding our feelings. Congrats were thrown around like they were free, and almost everyone told me how happy they were that I finally found a great guy to have. This made Mark's day, he was beaming like a kid at Christmas who just got his new shiny bike. So the nerdy gay server was a bit un-happy but he'll get over it, after all, he didn't even know me, though he glares at Mark's back when he thinks no one is looking. He'll come around, everyone loves Mark, he's too likable for the nerdy gay to remain jealous. So for once, my life seems to be ending on a good note. I can finally let the world know that I'm dating a guy that I really like, Mark says the stress he felt seems to be slipping away, I guess he didn't realize how much energy it took to have a secret life. He still smokes pot, but not everyday, which I'm thinking will slowly disappear the more comfortable he becomes in his new skin. My boss was a bit worried at first, but when I told him that Mark and I have been dancing around this relationship for almost a year and assured him that it wouldn't affect my job performance as Mark's boss, he gave me his blessing. It seems my boss was the only one that figured out Mark and I had been playing around. I guess it's true what they that you can't fool all the people all the time. Jason PS: My comment about text-messaging and close-minded bigots was just to throw you off the scent. But I meant what I said about girls, who fucking needs them.

Richard-- I must say this was by far the best comment I've ever received for any piece I've ever written. That was exactly the emotion I was trying to invoke in the reader. Jason (proud author)

Believe it or not Camy, I've always wanted to direct a film or at best a short art film. Each time I write a story, I tend to visualize it on a big screen, the actors, the dialog, the settings...so Twaddle away you crazy Emu... J Thanks my fellow poet, J Richard--how cool is that. My first time making someone cry. WOOT! Seriously, thanks for commenting. Jason

Thanks Richard, I so agree with your comments. Both about showing our love as natural and by saying the piece was written well. Jason

I think I agree with Richard on this one, (sorry Cole ), I get the feeling/impression that something had been said, or even one further, someone saw something that could be observed to be gay in nature, and the narrator is freaked and trying to find a solution to control the situation, mainly his own sanity. Either way, emotionally packed and highly charged. To address Cole's comment, I think with these sentences... puts the kibosh on the suicide train of thought. When family and friends are faced with an attempted suicide, they tend to bond together stronger, to help their family member or friend through his troubled time. Of course, we could be wrong and you could be right. Either way, this is a very good piece Res. Jason

Hey Cole,You wanna know what I've been doing the last three days?Working my ass off at my hip up-scale restaurant and making tons of money.I really didn't mean to make you guys wait so long.Anyway I have tomorrow off and promise to write it all downJason