Hi Pete,
The journal-entry storytelling style is interesting but it may come a point where it may be limiting as the story goes. But that is also where the skill of the author comes in to make it works for him. I would be interested to see how you turn this into a full length series.
I am glad you did not have them committed suicide. I rather leave it ambiguous like the way you did. The way the story went, I don't see them committing suicide. They are stronger than that. Run away, yes but not killing themselves. I thought the ending makes this quite a realistic story. It is sad and harsh that these boys feel that they have to run away. Their prospect is not good. But I am glad that you gave us a chance to at least hope that somehow they would make it through.
Ena