Tragic Rabbit

I get tons of spam from a UK guy named Camy, offering to increase my length and staying power. I sent him 120 GBP but haven't heard back. What gives? TR

Breaking News... Shuttle Endeavour pulls out, but promises to phone

I thought Dear Abby gave friendly advice, but this is hateful. How will it help anyone to do what DA suggests? Seems so mean, so pointless and, honestly, they aren't going to feel an outsider has any right to comment on a family tragedy. Just seems terribly unfeeling, even for someone to ask if they should--much too confrontational, pointless and selfish. Why is this girl even sticking her oar in, thinking of ranting on about her suspicions? What if the parents are right anyhow and she just hasn't a clue, after all, she's not the guy. She has her own reasons for wanting them to think that but it's in no way helpful or respectful. How old is she? Gah...people. Gosh, I love my cats. TR

Breaking UK News... Government demands ban on fags, fairies, fruit

Wow, who've you been dating? Last time a guy did anything and everything I wanted, I think we were both too young to drink.

I knew I felt a clammy hand on my caboose! You should always ask first, buckaroo.

I think everyone has that power, especially when they're young and cute. Not many men are too straight to say yes to a little friendly fun. 'Straight' is more a public pose than a 'hard' and fast rule, in my experience. However, I do have an 'ex' who may have the reverse power: the ability to turn men str8. Bisexual Bunny

Why of course, Bart. It was just now in the bathroom mirror. TR

Yes, I've always found that to be true. TR

Well, like you (or someone) said, it was just a short-list. I love Superman but might love his humility more than his super-strength. I know, I know: he's the Big Blue Boyscout. Does he never get into Lois Lane's pants? How about Jimmy Olsen's? Batman is very cool but has no superpowers, you know, unless being rich is a superpower. I think the only ones I'd choose would be optional invisibility, for all the sneaky perving I could do, or, more seriously, the ability to heal. Healing seems like the only really and truly beneficial 'power', no matter what all the various five-color superheroes can do. I remember Shazzam from comic books but only vaguely. My dad was a fan of all kinds of superheroes, with him I joined the Superman Fan Club, which he'd belonged to since he was about ten years old. My dad still knows the entire secret formula of Johnny Quick! Anyone else even know who that is? Dad's in his 70s. If time-traveling were an option, I'd really want that one, though. Flying and such, I do that in dreams and it's not always so nice...is it only me who falls sometimes? Maybe I need more practice... Kisses.... TR, (sometimes) fearful of flying

Breaking News... Sexually Ambivalent British Citizens Denied Entry To US: "all you English sound like poofs"

Now, Wibby , you know that's not true. Whenever I find myself short of assholes, I just visit the AD Forums. I do love Fox News, though, they are without doubt my favorite news spoof website. TR

God forbid a boy should have too much unsupervised time alone. Incidentally, I think people can be gay, but not images. Paranoia will destroy ya... TR

It's a... beautiful day in the neighborhood...

If you were an evolved superhero, with advanced genetic mutations and whatnot, what kind of power would you have? Choose one: Telekinesis Induced Radioactivity Technopathy Rapid Cell Regeneration Pyrokinesis Invisibility Flight Dream Manipulation Clairvoyance Cryokinesis Telepathy Intuitive Aptitude Enhanced Strength Phasing Empathic Mimicry Persuasion Enhanced Hearing Space-Time Manipulation Healing Mental Manipulation

Arthur C Clarke is dead?? TR PS Dude made me write that story, btw.

Writer Arthur C Clarke entombed in mysterious monolithic artifact and shot to Moon's surface TR

Bugs Bunny. A Rabbit, of course. TR

Listen, guys, I tried to explain this before about US public schools: principals don't 'have power', unless you consider that teachers 'have power', the two are about equally powerless in the school district scenario. Yes, cops have actual power on campus and sometimes will exercise it, any sort of local lobby no matter how wacko (like the 'smoking nazis' mentioned) may have, take or be given 'power' to dictate school policy, yes. Given by local voters, btw, not amorphous forces. What 'power' teachers and on-site admin have is very limited. The available space for any individual adult (teacher or admin) to act against expectations is highly circumscribed. Principals are usually appointed by higher admin in the district but even so are subject to approval in their placement and in any and every action by that same school board...and the same upper admin yabbos who put his/her name forward in the first place. Things happen in schools because of parental or other outside complaints (how 'active' the parents are depends on the sort of district it is), school board rulings, higher political rulings trickling down (yes, like pee), and the generally confused checkers game of administrator movement within the district (they hope it's slowly upward, despite a few side-ways movements). Stuff happens....well, either because some ruling or decision has been made, often outside the district and school system entirely, or a new directive has come down from the board (who are almost always locally elected people, a fellow debater was elected while we were both still in high school, for example, though they're usually much older). Now here's one interesting bit--they are all HIGHLY CONSERVATIVE in that, for example, they will often move and make decisions based on what the board has previously indicated is acceptable. In other words, any groove previously worn will tend to attract motion again. Examples would include any reaction to individual student issues-- like this one. This also applies to many teachers, btw. To protect oneself and almost without thinking, one slides into the nearest familiar groove. Penalizing kids for whatever the current contraband is would definitely fall into that category. Teachers are often heavily pressured to make searches or confiscate items in the current contraband category, even when they personally have no interest in doing so. Contraband items for any given school at any given time can include obvious items like knives or 'stink bombs', as well as less obvious items like sharp jewelry, candy (sometimes specific types, definitely large quantities of anything for resale on school grounds), anything currently listed as 'gang related' identifiers (can be as simple an item as a blue handkerchief), any item that plays music aloud, any item that can be used to cheat on classwork and tests, stolen items, dead animals, insects.... The list may be long, of both written and understood contraband items plus anything that teacher or his/her department do not allow (example: types of calculators in math dept during testing or anything likely to disrupt a dissection lab). I'm not defending anyone's actions, I'm trying to explain How Things Work in American public schools from my years of experience. TR

He posted it twice. Either it's a test of our emergency preparedness or he's really, really, really tired. TR

OMG!

You need to pick up the soap, Wibbet, and wash that dirty mind!

You know I love that rule, Dearest Dude, but FYI--it doesn't work with boyfriends. I mean, I'm always happy to 'do unto others' but somehow the 'doing unto' me rarely happens... TR

Reminds me of an old video I once saw, wherein a talented fellow put his front right around at his back. Rather amazing on several levels and yet...deeply disturbing. Was it you, Des? Or perhaps it was an overachieving divorce attorney. TR

Ahem, I'm actually more of a pitcher, pet, no matter what you read on the bathroom wall. TR