Cole Parker

Quote from Des:Unlike the previous entry this one is based loosely on fictitious thoughts inspired by Cole's above advice.This was definitely serendipity, to get some new imaginings out of Des as a result of my throw-away description of him. What I expecting back from that, if anything, was a rant about my spurious suggestion that he had the art of dissembling down to a science. Instead, we get Chapter 2 of the continuing saga of Mr. Allthumbs and his mate, Sorefoot. Well done, Des, and don't farm out the franchise. You're doing great all by yourself.C

With your charm and grace and dissembling ability, I'm sure you'll be friends in no time and be invited over for tea. Remember the witticism, a stranger is simply a friend you've yet to meet. For you, it should be easy to turn dialing incompetence into an asset.C

Damn it, Des! Now you've got that melody running through my head. C

What they now have is a vast new following on AD, but a reluctant diarist to record their activities.What is we all chip in for gas and binoculars, Des?C

Colin-- good answers! And Trab-- hilarious! C

Bent? The bent path? Anyone else, I'd think he'd been smoking some of that strange smelling stuff. Or sampling the elderberry wine just to make sure it was all right, and then the bottle was suddenly empty. As that cannot be the case here, it must be sleep deprivation. So, what's been keeping you up nights? C<G>

Perhaps it isn't a conundrum, it just masquerades as one. It's total nonsense, but you probably won't buy that, either. We all have to make decisions in our lives, and our decisions help define us as poeple. I decided not to follow the dicates of Oxford as far as comma usage goes. Let that define me. If that makes me a rebel, I'll have to accept that label. C

I'd never for the world believe you two were cops!A nickel to the first one to tell me why I assign them that occupation. Well, a tuppence if you're British.C

Case in point, sir, case in point! C

Okay, I located the specified jottings.They do have a certain tongue-in-cheek quality to them, even if it is a bit morbid. But you quite obviously were writng with your words sandwiched in wry, so I can be excused for thinking you were being facetious. At least, that's my opinion and so I'll excuse myself.<g>I do have to wonder how you can grow to the ripe old age of 21, however, and never in your life have encountered a natural dick. That seems ludicrous to me. When I went to school, both Jr. High and High School, we had community showers, daily, following gym class. Most boys had suffered the surgeons knife, but a few, always a few, were adorned as they were borned (to make the rhyme really rhyme.) This was years ago, but my understanding is that today, even fewer boys are chopped around on than back when. So the chances that you would wend your weary way through a world of wicked wicks and not have encountered any in their natural state just blows my mind. Or makes me think that during periods of presumed exposure, the heights of passion clounded your vision, much like the Shadow clouded the minds of men.But I'll say no more on the subject, lest it be painful for you. And I'm delighted you found a way to emasculate your tormentor, fool that he was, and in so doing exposed your own creativity.C

And you're temerarious enough to call my writing beautiful! C

There's another reason no one flames Des. If we did so, he'd rip us a new orifice and do it so cleverly, so wittily and so humorously that we die laughing, and all the time he'd be preparing the skewers and firing up the barbie for our final roasting. Best leave mad dogs lie. Heh heh heh. C

I often have a problem with questions marks. Not in easy sentences like the examples Trab provided, but in more complex ones. Often, I'll have a sentence with a question imbedded within it, or at least with the question not at the very end of the sentence. Putting a question mark in the middle of the sentence doesn't work, unless I've used parentheses to sequester the question, and that's so disruptive that I almost never do so. I've generally solved this problem by simply letting the question stand without any marking, figuring the reader can work it out for himself. Should I take an umbrella with me today, wondered George as he stood on his front stoop, watching the gathering clouds darken the horizon. That's not the best example, but what I could come up with on short notice. If I re-ordered that and ended with the question, using a questions mark would be easy. This way, it always feels awkward. C

I'm sure the rules are still the same. It's still thought to be careless and improper to split your infinitives. However, as we all know, with the advent of emails and blogging and IM and all, a new way of expressing ourselves is rapidly developing, and a much more casual approach to writing is flourishing. I'm regularly seeing things now, written in the newspapers and books, that I'd never have seen fifty years ago. I was a lot more conservative when I was younger, and felt that anyone writing in English simply had to abide by the rules. I have a looser approach these days, and so do most people. Maybe life has sped up to the point we don't have time to be as fussy as we once were. Maybe the education system is more lax when it comes to teaching this stuff, though Colin seems to have gotten a better English education than I ever did, so that's questionable. I think people should follow the rules, all of them, except the ones I don't agree with (like Wibby's silly Oxford comma conundrum), and cerrtainly not split their infinitives, or end their sentences with prepositions, or let dependent clauses stand alone as sentences. However, I no longer get overly exercised when I find these rules butchered in printed matter. People will do what they will, and why try to stem the flood like the little Dutch boy? In realitiy, I'll bet he was washed away with the tide. And the tide seems to be washing away strict observance of the rules of proper English usage. C

Well said. C

My foreskin remark was directly taken from your last post. I didn't read your original description of this malady of yours, and of course assumed you were being at least somewhat facetious, which I still think. You said your comment was in your first blog posting, and I went to the bottom of the list provided under yoiu name, and there were no mentions of anything even remotely akin to foreskins. I would have noticed.Anyway, I was teasing, and am sure you realized that.What else are friends for?C

Today is Thursday. Dude puts up Saturday's adventure usually late on Friday. So it'll go up tomorrow, which is damned close to immediately. I don't remember if Matt comes across as a drama queen in the next chapter, but believe he doesn't. Of course, that won't be sufficient to convince SOME people he isn't a DQ. Side note: that stands for Dairy Queen in the Eastern part of this fine country. Or it did when I lived there. I think the only beverage Matt quaffs in this tale is Dr Pepper, and I don't remember him eating soft-serve ice cream--called frozen custard when I was a sprout--either, so at least that appelation shouldn't fit. Glad to see the cuddly 'coon is on my side, where he belongs. Welcome aboard. C

That's terribly triffling twaddle, Trab.

Oh, and yes, UCLA students are called Bruins. It's their teams' mascot/symbol/whatever. Just like Ohio State students are called buckeyes and Cal students are known as Golden Bears. C

You're nasty, Oliver. Really nasty. Just the kind of guy I like. C

Please post again, Bruin. A lot. And bring your friends! We need LOTS more of your kind here. C PS: Are you a UCLA bruin, or some other kind?

Well, exCUSE me for heigthening the drama just a little bit. The sentiment remains the same. I just wanted to add some spice to it is all. Make it more interesting, you know. And besides, isn't it a bit anal for someone so young to be keeping records and all? C

I thnk I just learned more about emo than I not only wanted to know, but than there was to know. C

Oliver: Colinian was 17 when he helped edit this story. You know how impatient youngsters are. His comment to me, while working his way through this story, was that Matt is the biggest drama queen he'd ever met and if he were Kevin, he'd just shoot him and be done with it. I wonder how many readers feel exactly the same. C

Trab, do you have a case of the red-ass? C