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Cole Parker

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Everything posted by Cole Parker

  1. Gonad-wise. What a great word! I'll have to remember that. Wonderful poem, Bruin! C
  2. Great way to start the season! I hope single malts are cheaper there! You have to sell your firstborn to secure a bottle of 18-year old here. C
  3. Not my fault: James asked for it! Don’t know much about Christmas cheer Though it should flourish this time of year Yet with Trump looming, thoughts of Rudolph Lower one’s spirits: the man’s a jackoff. So rhyming and versing and singing and such Just don’t thrill me this year all that much I’m feeling more Scrooge than Pollyanna And like staying in bed all day in a pajama. But James wants wit and humoresque Bawdy hi-jinks and broad burlesque Not sad and endless woe and gloom Lightness and mirth should fill the room So up with the tree, ornaments and tinsel And boxes wrapped giftily and full of toys And perhaps a wandering G&S minstrel Wassail and chorus, and yes! Here come the boys!
  4. Ha ha ha ha ha. This one was fun to write. C
  5. Then you'd never meet the next ones, so where's the benefit in that? But thanks so much for the plaudits! C
  6. Nice hearing from you again, Tracy. C
  7. It's a dark day indeed, a very sad one. Mike was instrumental in my development as a writer, and I'll always remember and be thankful for that. His site is a marvel. My dearest hope is someone will step forward to continue the job Mike initiated. C
  8. Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one, Dad; they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow." Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110." "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."
  9. Of course it is. Probably another American invention. C
  10. An Englishman, taking a road trip through the US, notices he’s low on fuel, pulls into the first gas station he sees. The attendant walks out and approaches the car. How can I help you, sir?” And in a posh voice, the man says, “I’m low on petrol; please top off the tank.” With an odd look, the guy begins to fill ’er up. The Englishman then says, “Also, while I’m here could you open the bonnet and check the oil?” Now looking slightly peeved but still saying nothing, the serviceman does as requested. “Oh, yes,” says the Brit, “It appears my windscreen needs a good cleaning. Would you mind terribly-” Unable to hold his tongue any more the attendant angrily snaps, “Alright, that’s enough! It’s not Petrol, it’s gasoline! It’s not a bonnet, it’s a hood! And it’s not a windscreen, it’s a windshield! We invented cars, so you call them by their American names!” And with that wonderful, charming, stiff-upper-lip UK wit, the Englishman calmly replies, “Well yes, my friend, you may have invented the automobile, but we invented the language!”
  11. ittle Johnnie 🤦🤦🤦 The teacher asks all the children in grade 3 at a Primary School in London to give a quick talk to the class about what their Father does for a job. When its the turn of Little Johnnie, he stands up and talks about how his Father works in a late-night Gay Bar where he dances seminude on stage and the patrons can put Pound notes in his bum cheeks and sometimes he might even continue on partying with them after work into the early hours of the morning and not even come home that morning... The teacher is bright red and outraged. She tries to shut him up but he will not be silenced. She waits for him in the passage when the class is finished and demands to know the truth from him and why he has spoken such utter rubbish. "Does your Father dance semi-naked in a GAY BAR"? "No Miss". "Do strange men slip Pound notes into his bottom cheeks"? "No Miss". "Does he go partying on with strangers into the early hours of the mornings and not even come home some days"? "No Miss". "Then tell me what he really does you horrible little boy and stop your lying and your disgusting besmirching of the Man who brought you into this world". "WHAT DOES HE DO"? "Well, Miss"...... "WELL, JUST WHAT ACTUALLY"?? "Well, Miss... He actually plays cricket for England. I was just a touch too embarrassed to say so.”
  12. The good old days with this forum were when it was active with many frequent participants. I see no reason why that can't still pertain, even while so often hearing that you can't go back again. That wouldn't be true if people would simply step forward again. This was so much fun, and it can be again.
  13. More to come. Stay tuned to this station! 😉 C
  14. I wish you'd write more, Gee. I love your writing!. Thanks for the kind words! C
  15. I did consciously try to maintain a rapid pace with this one. Glad it seems to have worked. Thanks, guys. I appreciate the kudos. C
  16. Some people have more balls than others. And then there are those who don't mind putting them on display. 😄
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