Cole Parker
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Posts posted by Cole Parker
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Delightful!
C
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I love it!
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It's a dark day indeed, a very sad one. Mike was instrumental in my development as a writer, and I'll always remember and be thankful for that. His site is a marvel. My dearest hope is someone will step forward to continue the job Mike initiated.
C
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Ouch!
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Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one, Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."
"How much?" asked Grandpa.
"$10 a pill," answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110."
"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."
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Of course it is. Probably another American invention.
C
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An Englishman, taking a road trip through the US, notices he’s low on fuel, pulls into the first gas station he sees. The attendant walks out and approaches the car.
How can I help you, sir?”
And in a posh voice, the man says, “I’m low on petrol; please top off the tank.”
With an odd look, the guy begins to fill ’er up.
The Englishman then says, “Also, while I’m here could you open the bonnet and check the oil?”
Now looking slightly peeved but still saying nothing, the serviceman does as requested.
“Oh, yes,” says the Brit, “It appears my windscreen needs a good cleaning. Would you mind terribly-”
Unable to hold his tongue any more the attendant angrily snaps, “Alright, that’s enough! It’s not Petrol, it’s gasoline! It’s not a bonnet, it’s a hood! And it’s not a windscreen, it’s a windshield! We invented cars, so you call them by their American names!”
And with that wonderful, charming, stiff-upper-lip UK wit, the Englishman calmly replies, “Well yes, my friend, you may have invented the automobile, but we invented the language!”
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Thought you might like that!
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The teacher asks all the children in grade 3 at a Primary School in London to give a quick talk to the class about what their Father does for a job.
When its the turn of Little Johnnie, he stands up and talks about how his Father works in a late-night Gay Bar where he dances seminude on stage and the patrons can put Pound notes in his bum cheeks and sometimes he might even continue on partying with them after work into the early hours of the morning and not even come home that morning...
The teacher is bright red and outraged. She tries to shut him up but he will not be silenced. She waits for him in the passage when the class is finished and demands to know the truth from him and why he has spoken such utter rubbish.
"Does your Father dance semi-naked in a GAY BAR"?
"No Miss".
"Do strange men slip Pound notes into his bottom cheeks"?
"No Miss".
"Does he go partying on with strangers into the early hours of the mornings and not even come home some days"?
"No Miss".
"Then tell me what he really does you horrible little boy and stop your lying and your disgusting besmirching of the Man who brought you into this world".
"WHAT DOES HE DO"?
"Well, Miss"......
"WELL, JUST WHAT ACTUALLY"??
"Well, Miss... He actually plays cricket for England. I was just a touch too embarrassed to say so.”
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The good old days with this forum were when it was active with many frequent participants. I see no reason why that can't still pertain, even while so often hearing that you can't go back again. That wouldn't be true if people would simply step forward again. This was so much fun, and it can be again.
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Yes, a shameless selfie!
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More to come. Stay tuned to this station!
😉
C
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I wish you'd write more, Gee. I love your writing!.
Thanks for the kind words!
C
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I did consciously try to maintain a rapid pace with this one. Glad it seems to have worked. Thanks, guys. I appreciate the kudos.
C
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Some people have more balls than others.
And then there are those who don't mind putting them on display.
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I know! See through mesh shorts of some sort.
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Are we talking boxers, boxer briefs, or briefs? Trying to get a clear picture of this.
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A surgeon goes to visit his patient after her operation, and he asks her how she is feeling.
“I’m feeling fine” she replies.
“Well have you any questions you would like me to answer?” he asks.
“There is one thing” she whispers with a red face, “When will I be able to resume my sex life?”
The surgeon is taken aback and thinks for a moment, but then says “I'm not sure; I've never been asked that before, after a tonsillectomy”.
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So, so good having you back and active on the site, Mike. You've been sorely missed! Hope your course runs smooth and productively now that you're settled.
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Thanks, James.
And if anyone is wondering, though that's a pretentious thought, why I announced a new AD story which has yet to appear, look for it in two days. It should go up then.
C
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1 hour ago, Bruin Fisher said:
Cole? Nothing? Are you not feeling well?
Well, I wrote six paragraphs. Evidently the only one meaningful to you was the 6th. Plenty to say, just had lost my inspiration by the time I came to the 6th and leggy one.
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So many things have changed since I was a teen in the '50s. So many gasoline stations we had then no longer exist—nor do many of the brands of cars that filled up at them. When the franchise stared, McDo0nald's sold $0. 25 hamburgers. I think fries cost a dime, but I could be wrong about that.
Back then there were ubiquitous pay phones; you have to hunt long and hard to find one today. I have no idea how many coins you'd have to put in one now; for sure not the dime per call as was needed back then .
Kids walked to school back then. Now, social media has made that almost a sin. It's apparent that nowadays there's a pedophile hiding behind every bush between every nine-year-old's house and school building.
In 1960, two-thirds of American adults attended church regularly. Today, it's less that one-third. Maybe people got tired of hearing how sinful they were.
There have been so many changes that it's difficult to note them all. It would be interesting to know, however, when culling the list, if more changes were good or bad, or if there were some good and some bad elements in most of them..
Sorry, but I have nothing to say about hairy legs.
C
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But . . . ?
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I apologize, but I have another novel, a short one, about to appear. It might not sit well with you guys; it's nothing like my usual fare. But one does what one does. In any event, I like it.
It's title? The Courier.
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Vale Mike Wengert, 1943-2023
in Dude's Desk
Posted
Nice hearing from you again, Tracy.
C