I think that the lyrics are excellent. I like the rough version, too. It went in a totally different direction than I expected after reading the lyrics and was a good surprise.If you want my totally honest opinion, I think that maybe you should change the key or something. Raise it up a bit perhaps? It kind of gave me that uncomfortable feeling with your voice, if you know what I mean. I like the tone of the key, it just seems a little low to me. But honestly, I don't really know what I'm talking about and really did like it. It really reminded me of one of my favorite artists.Good job. Thanks for sharing.*edited for clarification