Bruin Fisher
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Posts posted by Bruin Fisher
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What a truly delightful story! If it brought tears to my eyes, does that mean I'm gay??!
I look forward to reading more from this talented author. Welcome, Wildwing!
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Lovely story. Bassett Hounds forever!
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Yup this is a great story. Camy is, of course, still a teenager, which explains his ability to bring the angst of teenagerhood to life on the page so brilliantly.
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18 hours ago, Cole Parker said:
This is a treasure, and worth all the efforts that went into saving it.
Hear Hear.
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Yes indeed, I remember that powerful story of Douglas' when it was first published. Its relevance undimmed.
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hear, hear!
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I think, Cole, that on the subject of writing, you have forgotten more than I ever knew. Which, I hope, is a compliment. Intended as one, anyway!
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I note that I've posted a version of this before:
https://forums.awesomedude.com/topic/3260-fairy-story/#comment-20838
I wrote the new version without reference to the old version, and I find it interesting to look back now, and see the similarities and differences. Personally, I think my writing flair, such as it was, has declined in the 15 years that separate the two versions.
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Mr Charles Carruthers, rector of the parish of St Nicholas In The Fields, was walking along the narrow country lane which linked the rectory in the valley with the church up on the hill, when he was stopped in his tracks by a voice, coming, apparently, from the hedgerow by the roadside. He backtracked, and searched, but found nothing. He was about to continue his walk, when the voice came again. "Help me!"
This time he was able to pinpoint its origin and he crouched, parted the long grass, and was astounded to discover a large frog. Expecting that it would leap off into the undergrowth, he reached out quickly and grasped it, then brought it close to his face in cupped hands.
"Ouch!" said the frog. "You can speak!" said the old man. "You're hurting me!" said the frog. "Sorry!" said the man, and relaxed his grip a little, but not so much that the frog might escape.
"Well, well, well," said the vicar. "It's a miracle. A frog that can talk."
"I'm not a frog, I'm a person. Just like you." said the frog.
"How can that be? You look just like all the frogs in the village duckpond."
"That's because of the old witch. I stole apples from her orchard and she caught me and put a curse on me, turned me into a frog."
"Oh dear oh dear. I'm very sorry to hear that. Will you tell me how to find her, maybe if I had a word with her, she might..."
"She won't. She said I must be a frog forever, or until I get eaten by a heron or something."
"Is there nothing that can be done?"
"I've heard that curses can be reversed by laying from dusk to dawn where a holy man has lain his head."
"That is not something that I have ever heard. But I will see what I can find out for you."
And the kindly old man placed the frog gently into one of the pockets of his cassock and continued on his way to the church.
It must be said that for all his kindly intentions, he was also old, and forgetful, and he forgot all about the frog in his pocket until he came to his bed that night, when he became aware of the lump in the pocket as he removed the cassock. He reached into the pocket and drew out the frog, apparently none the worse for its day sharing living space with pocket fluff, and placed it on the pillow of his bed. Once he had changed into his long nightshirt, he climbed into bed and fell asleep.
The next morning the rector was still asleep when his housekeeper bustled into the room and flung the curtains apart to flood the room with spring sunshine. She turned to the bed, intending to wake the old man, and, lo and behold a true miracle had happened! There beside the rector was an angelic choirboy, naked as the day he was born!
...and there, your honour, and members of the jury, rests the case for the defence.
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Brilliant.
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This is a ten-tissues read. As James mentions above, heartbreaking, And redemptive. Quite wonderful.
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Is BUTTCHEEKS all one word, or should I spread them apart?
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Lovely, and touching. Thanks!
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Thanks for the recommendation, Cole. I don't think I've read it. Will put that right pronto!
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Hello English people, I am Hassan. I come from a country where I might have got killed for being gay. Here it is better but very strange to me. I just saw two men wearing the same outfit, all black and with straps and things. I asked them if they are gay and they chased me down the street. I ran very fast and they got in a car painted with blue and yellow stripes and a big blue light on the roof.
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3 hours ago, Cole Parker said:
Caxton?
C
Yup - printing press.
Brilliant, Pedro! English, the most mongrel of languages.
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Yes on reading I could tell you enjoyed writing it! Lovely one, Cole.
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Oh, hopeful pilgrim, questing wide,
Searching far on every side.
Will you find the holy grail,
Or just another abject fail?
Cotton boxers patterned bright
Fabric loose but waistband tight.
Swinging free, I must report
These bloody things give no support!
Tighty Whiteys, Hanes et al
Must-haves when in hospital.
Clean on so there’s no disgrace
When the doctor’s groin-to-face.
These and others even tighter,
Bikini briefs, those skimpy blighters
Squish the privates nice and neat
But flatten them into defeat.
When nature calls and you must find
Your todger, precious to mankind
You peel apart the sweaty mass
Glued against your thighs and ass.
Boxer Briefs – a compromise?
Support aplenty, gonad-wise.
As for squishing, just as bad
And as for access, what a fad.
Oh weary pilgrim, searched in vain
Don’t give up, try, try again.
Find, at last, your pot of gold
Don’t stick with saggy, baggy, old.
Here, at last, is something new:
Pouch underwear? What? Who knew?
Inside, there’s a little pocket
Custom-made, a place to dock it!
Finally, finally, listen up:
My crown jewels cradled in their cup
Apart and airy, ventilated,
Solved the problems that I hated.
Access, too, is simple, neat,
A horizontal fly, replete
With thumb tag so I always find
The pistol, quick draw, fire, no bind.
My dong and boys have never been
So cossetted, sweat-free, and clean
All day long they feel so grand,
Held gently, almost like a hand.
At last, at last, my search is over
My private bits reside in clover.
My lovely, comfy underwear
Is worth announcing, good to share!
Bruin Fisher 2023
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Hip Hip and hooray, our dear Cole dun spoke
Dispelling the gloom, he dun cheer up us folk.
The whole world's destruction may be on the brink
But just now, in my pyjams, I'm having a drink.
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The officer said: "You're staggering."
I said: "You're quite handsome, yourself!"
We just laughed and laughed.
I need bail money.
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I'm devastated to hear of the demise of Mike, the father of the family that is Awesomedude. He was a wonderful man, I thought I knew him well, but amongst the outpouring of grief in the comments in this thread I learn for the first time that he was a Radio Ham while he was in Korea. I never knew that. I too was a radio ham, but as far as I know our paths (radio waves?) never crossed.
Let us never forget Mike Wengert.
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Mike is no longer with us. I'm struggling to come to terms with that. He was a wonderful man, the father of this fantastic site, which has become my writerly home shared with my writerly family under his beneficent patriarchy. I grieve his loss in company with everyone else here.
I hope Awesomedude will continue in some form. I'm sure it's what he would want and it would be fitting tribute to his work.
Bruin
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Teacher: I'm sorry to have to tell you that your daughter was caught eating candy in the student bathroom today.
Horrified parent: You must have that wrong. My daughter is very careful about her calorie intake and she never eats sugary stuff.
Teacher: I can assure you we are not mistaken in this. One moment, I'll bring the girl in.
(Teacher leaves the office and returns with student)
Relieved parent: I knew there had been a mistake: that's not my daughter!
Teacher: This is Candy.
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1 hour ago, Jason Rimbaud said:
I discovered a podcast, Hardcore History by Dan Carlin a few years ago. He has amazing series with multiple episodes each on a wide range of topics. Currently, one of the series is called Supernova In the East, detailing the history and reasons why Japan thought it was a good idea to bomb Pearl Harbor. Dan goes deep into the culture and what happened to Japan when they were dragged into the open in the mid 1800's by American traders. It's a fascinating listen with six parts averaging three to four hours each part. I strongly recommend giving him a listen. He also has King of Kings, detailing the entire history of the Persian Kings ending with Alexander the Great.
And if you wanted to go behind the paywall, my favorite is Blueprint to Armageddon, detailing the events that started the first Great War. I can't recommend Dan Carlin enough.
Thanks Jason, I'm checking out Dan Carlin for sure.
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Mr. Sunshine - content warning - mature content
in Flash Fiction
Posted
Here is a story that defines bittersweet. Lovely, James!