Cleveland

I have a problem with commercial jingles. They get stuck in my head and I sing them till my dog looks at me like I'm off my nut. Of course, he looks at me like that anyway. The worst was the free credit report dot com jingles from a year or so ago. Couldn't get 'em outta my head. The new ones suck, however. Cleveland

Some people do say I'm a bit cartoonish, so it's a common mistake.

Thank you, Cole. I didn't think of that. According to my word processing program, the story is 3,800 words. I actually thought it was longer than that. It's not neccessarily all dialog, but not alot of action, either. Thanks again, sir.

I've never participated in a forum of any kind in any way before, so please forgive me if I do this all wrong. I've written a short story that I would like to submit to this site, but I would like to make sure it measures up first. So, i'm looking for someone to edit/proof read/point out major flaws ... tell me if I suck. My biggest concern is that it isn't really a story at all, that it's just two people talking. So, I need someone to tell me, brutally honestly, if it is worth a reader's time or not. I'd rather not post it on a forum. I'd rather send it to someone privately if anyone out there is so kind. I promise I'm not argumentative; I'm not overly attached to my writing. I only want to get better. Hope I did this right. Thank you.