petefromoz

“Even if you didn’t need me to hold you, I’d probably want to do it anyway.” And that, right there, is why I absolutely love this story. Profound, playful, heartwarming, and just utterly sublime. I have missed this so very, very much, and right now I just can't stop smiling. Thank you - this was exactly what I needed right now. -- Pete

This has been bumping around my head half-formed for a couple of days, and now, at ten minutes to midnight, when I really should be sleeping, it appears fully formed. My muse has absolutely no sense of timing... :roll: This is dedicated to all of the folks out there who make music - I can't imagine a world without it. Good Vibrations by Pete Technically, it's oscillation, fundamentals, overtones. Physically, it's a vibration (you can feel it in your bones). Logically, it's key and tempo, melody, and lyric choice. But to me, it's just the passion of musicians in full voice.

Dude - my heatrfelt thanks for keeping the lights on. This is the only place I've ever felt comfortable enough to write poetry in public. --Pete

Every time I see there's a new story from Grasshopper, I'm a very happy boy. He has an absolutely extraordinary talent, and his stories are so moving (to me anyway), that I'm usually a wreck after reading them. Few writers in any form have managed to move me to that extent. The truly scary part is that each new one seems to be better than the last. If you haven't read any of his stuff before, I'd strongly recommend you take a look at this one. If you have, well, you're probably already reading it... --Pete

I wanted to write something profound, but my muse was in the mood for something short and sweet instead... (I won't deny it's more than a little influenced by the recent spate of chilly weather down here.) Hot Stuff by Pete A cozy bed, a blazing hearth, a steaming cup - all have their charms. But nothing beats the gentle warmth of being held within your arms.

A word about cliffhangers. I really don't like cliffhangers in general - they're hideously overused, and are usually done exceedingly badly - drama for the sake of drama. (There are authors I trust with cliffhangers, including several notable authors here, but they are few and far between, especially in this genre). There is however, a frustratingly rare class of cliffhanger - ones which leave you going "But ... what ... he ... huh?", cause you to question large chunks of what you've just read, and make you want to physically grab the author, and demand that they explain what they just wrote, because there's no way you want to wait for the next chapter for an explanation. I adore these, because they make you think, take enormous skill to pull off, and are the sign of a highly creative and inventive author. This one was one of the finest of these I've ever seen. Bravo! As for the rest of the chapter - hey, it's by EleCivil, of course it's great. :D (Although, given my age and background, ‘Riots of Spring’ was always going to trigger Stravinksy...) Thanks as always for making me smile. -- Pete

“My Dad’s trying to convert your friends to Christianity. They’re trying to convert him to secular humanism. I’ve got plenty of time.” Priceless... :D This remains an utter joy to read; easily some of the finest dialogue around, and absolutely original characters to go with. We are truly fortunate to have access to such an talented and original voice. -- Pete

Thank you both for the very kind words. I'm glad you liked them.

My muse has returned after a lengthy absence, and so, after a fashion, have I. These arrived in my head today without warning, and wanted to be said, so here they are. Unnamed by Pete In dread of night, the words don't come. Unvoiced, unspoken thoughts and fears. Wordless terror without a name; formless, primal, unspeakable. In the pale dawn the words return; alas, too late - the moment's gone. ----- Tomorrow by Pete We are what we remember; the sum of what has come to pass. Our past defines our present, and indicates what we'll become. What then of hopes and wishes, of fervent dreams and fancied plans? Imagination frees us from the shackles of ourselves.

(Heh. Blue beat me to it this time - guess I'm getting slow) It's up. You know the drill - go now and read Chapter 5. I'll wait... Back? Okay, this was just cool. From the utterly neat new background image, to EleCivil's inestimable prose, this was a delight as always. I think I'm finally getting my head around what makes me love this story so much. It's the sheer originality of it - there's remarkably little (practically nothing, in fact) which is generic or mundane. Even the plot has character. It all feeds into a sense of watching something real. Every chapter seems to have at least a dozen little touches that elevate this above the ordinary and make it an unalloyed joy to read. Somebody find this guy a publisher, and soon. I'd happily pay real money for this stuff in print.

... and we're four for four. Yet another (appropriately) awesome chapter from the seriously talented EleCivil. An absolute and utter joy to read. Go - read it now, or else you'll be utterly lost when everyone starts talking about Weasels... :D

This is, to my mind, one of the best things that Grasshopper has written, and given the outstanding quality of his previous work, that's saying a great deal. I've just read the whole thing in one sitting (all 9 chapters plus the epilogue are up), and I'm sitting here at 1:30am still taking it in. I haven't been so moved by a story in a very long time. This is one of those stories that you simply must read - I give it the highest possible recommendation.

... and there was much rejoicing. Great character building, an ear for dialogue, and a wit to die for. All this and more in a tightly-written package that continues to be an utter joy to read. I can only hope that EleCivil will continue meandering to alternate mandolins, camouflage paint and all, for a long time to come. The world is a much finer place for it. :D

The good news: There's a second chapter up. The totally awesome news: It's as good as the first one. 8) Stop wasting your time reading this message and go and read chapter 2 of Laika right now. Trust me - it's worth your while. :D

I was deeply saddened when EleCivil said he was finishing Leaves and Lunatics - it was a glorious story, and I didn't think it was possible he could top it with his promised new work. I was wrong. Absolutely, utterly, profoundly, staggeringly wrong. And I'm delighted beyond words that I was. This is a gorgeously funny, charming, witty piece of work. It's without doubt the best thing I've read from him - it's the sort of thing I can only wish I was capable of writing. And that's just the first chapter... Do yourself a favour, set some time aside, and take a look at Laika. It'll make your day. :D

It's a reasonably popular gay story & discussion site. There are several hosted authors, including the very well-known Comicality, as well as Dom Luka (author of The Log Way, and The Ordinary Us), Dan Kirk (author of Do Over), and GhostRyder15 (author of Kombat Kids) among others. There are also a number of discussion forums and blogs (some by or about the aforementioned authors). I came across it after mentions of it by the above authors on Nifty. If you're following any of the above stories (and I'd personally recommend all of them) on Nifty, then you'll find much more recent chapters on the GayAuthors site. Hope this helps. Regards, Pete

This Is Who We Are by Pete We are your brothers, your sons, your cousins, your uncles, and, occasionally, your fathers. We share your dreams; we breathe the same air; we are so very much alike. The only difference that makes a difference, is who we love. This is who we are. This is what we do. We live among you, and we mean you no harm. We simply ask that you do the same for us.

Definitely worth doing - the written word can often be entirely lacking in tone, so anything which lends it some of the subtlety of the spoken word is an improvement. Interestingly, another area I'm active in - comic books - has done this for a long time, although due to the historic limitations of the medium (handwritten text) the tradition there is to use bold for emphasis, rather than italic. Regards, Pete

Speaking purely as a reader, not an editor or writer (yet): The Power of the Heart: Romance is nifty. Love is cool. I like my lovers to fall in love slowly, to talk to one another, and come to love each other for what's in their hearts and heads, rather than their physical attributes. Which leads us to... Pet Peeves: Bad grammar, absolutely. The odd mistake is a fact of life, but repeated language abuse yanks me out of the story. Cheesy names. If I wince every time I see a character's name, I'm not going to be reading for long. Sex mere seconds after "hello". Unrealistic, unlikely, and not what I'm looking for. Full physical details and measurements in the first paragraph. I don't need to know this yet - reveal it as needed in the story. Impossible anatomy - if it's as thick as a beer can or measured in feet then your character has a serious medical problem. Seek help. :-) Lack of dialogue - I need to hear your characters speak; I want to know what's in their heads, and how they express it. Poorly formatted dialogue - I also need to know who's speaking. Incoherent or illogical plot. Real life can often be messy and confusing, simply because none of us are omniscient narrators or viewing our life in the past tense. Fiction doesn't have to be. You're telling a story because you have a story to tell. Work out what it is, and focus on doing that as clearly as possible. Impossible plot. I can suspend disbelief with the best of them, but your stories have to work according to the rules of the universe you set them in. Gratuitous (especially parental) death. A well-written death, with realistic reactions from other characters, can add an incredible amount of emotional depth to a story. When it's done purely to get a character out of the way though (especially with the infamous "parents die in car crash"), I go cold. There are better ways to advance the story. Characters acting stupidly. People do things for reasons, usually. They may not always acknowledge them, but they're there. I need to be able to understand your characters, to sympathise and empathise with them. If your character is doing something out of character, you need a reason, and you need to communicate that, otherwise it's just sloppy storytelling to force a plot point. Any plot that depends on the characters being stupid or doing stupid (by their standards) things is a major turnoff for me (which is why, for example, I love some episodes of Frasier and despise others). Lack of plot and/or extensive descriptive sex - I like a good word-picture as much as the next guy, but after pages of nothing but descriptions of sex I get bored and start skimming until I hit the next bit of plot or dialogue. If all you have is physical sex and no plot, I can't connect with the characters, so it's just noise to me. Phew. Big rant over. :-) Seriously though, I'm a voracious reader, and skim or read dozens of stories every week. Like wbms I try to read pretty much everything on Nifty in all but a few categories. There's some really good stuff out there, but some days it's almost drowned out by utter, utter drek. It does, however, make those few buried jewels - and sites like this - all the more precious. I remain in awe of the writers here. The ability to craft a tale and do it well is one of the greater human attributes, and I thank you all for taking the time to share. Regards, Pete

Most impressive; I love it! There's a depth and quality to the language that evokes Shakespearean imagery, and a delightful flowing rhythm which demands to be spoken aloud. Ah, to be able to craft such words as these! Kudos, Pete

dcorvus, Believe it or not, I agree. I had an idea of how I wanted this to go, but I couldn't get it to work. The original intent was to show the transition from relying on our parents to relying on our partners that happens as we grow up & settle down. I got stuck in the "then, now, later" mindset, but looking at it with fresh eyes it's unbalanced - it needs to lose the second stanza (or perhaps have a fourth to balance or something). Ah well, I'm still learning, and this sort of feedback is really helpful. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Regards, Pete

Wow. The sentiments expressed are utterly obvious & logical, and in retrospect I probably should have seen where it was heading, but it blindsided me, and so it hit pretty damn hard. A very powerful cautionary tale about actions and consequences. Good pacing and length, and just the right amount of detail to carry the story without bogging it down. Another excellent work from Graeme; highly recommended. Regards, Pete

Guilty as charged. :-) It's weird though - in my professional life I'm widely known as somewhat cynical, or (more politely) as realistic and pragmatic, but when it comes to fiction, music, and poetry, I'm an incurable romantic. Such is life, I guess... Thanks for the kind words. Regards, Pete

This one just hit me upside the head as I was about to head off to bed, and I felt like sharing. Love waits by Pete I don't know what he looks like; our paths have not yet crossed. I haven't gazed into his eyes, stroked his hair, or been held in his arms. We've never spoken, shared our thoughts, or even said hello. He doesn't know I exist, but I know he's out there. Love waits.

Codey, Words to live by. Lovely cadence and insightful observations; my favourite kind of poem. Thanks for another great, thought-provoking piece. Regards, Pete