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how to pee in public


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THis may not hbe the forum to put this in, but in reading Faulkner's awesom story "15<' he brings up the mater of peeing at a public urinal and how hard it can be for a self-sonscious gay boy.... In that story, the solution is to be in love, and indeed that is a SOVEREIGN remedy.

But if you are not, a friend taught me how to make it feel like you are -- sinc hte issue isfear that ome tyrant is going to take advantage of your attraction to an attractive man....

Recite "Ozymandias" it works every time. In really tense situations, sometimes I've had to go through the poem twice, but by the third time, the fear that I'd choke had subsided, the dick had relaxed, and the pee had started to flow.

If you don't know Ozymandias, text follows in a minute: it's a sonnet about the brotherhood of man by Percy Bysshe Shelley, one of the great poems in the English language, and also a sovereign remedy against bullies: It goes like this.

"I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said, "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert.... Near them, on the sand,

Half-sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed.

And on the pedestal these words appear:

"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

When you get to the incredible peace and quiet of that last line, all tension drains away, the boogey-man no longer frightens you, and you can release your dick and pee without fear.

The guy who told me this was a poet, his first name was Casey, and one of his best books is called "Harming Others." I recommend it, as well as his wonderful translation of all the works of that sweet man, the Pearl Poet.

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Oh my ... gay dancer!

I never had a problem about the actual peeing, it was just having to unbuckle my belt to unwrap myself from around my waist!

While in the toidy, however, I often heard some funny dialogues:

After seeing a Harvard man finish peeing and start out of the mens room without washing his hands the Princeton lad says quite audibly "MY mother taught me to always wash after peeing." To which the Harvard lad replies "MY mother taught me not to pee on my hands!"

As always,

Ben Dover

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