Coming soon!

[Cole Parker]

A short story that isn't so short will appear shortly.  No reason to hold your breath.  It's coming.  That's all.

C

[Bruin Fisher]

Let's hope we don't have too long to wait before it comes a-long. I'm long-ing for a Cole Parker story, something new from him is long overdue....

[Cole Parker]

Long overdue?  Jeez.  Two months.  Or less than three.  Can't remember exactly.  But, that's beside the point.  You know, there's a word for people like you, Bruin.  Not a very nice word, but certainly a utilitarian one, one that's fitting and appropriate.  Spoiled.  Yes, that's it, that's the word.  Long overdue indeed!  When did my last one go up?  Huh?  Huh?  Not sure, are you?  Well, it's been, uh, well, less than three months.  

So not only do I have to set the record straight here, but now Mike'll probably come down on me like a ton of bricks because this part of the forum is for announcing new stories, not defending oneself from scurrilous comments.

So, everyone, forget I wrote this.  Let Bruin alone face the full power and wrath of the AD Admin.

Hah!

C

[Bruin Fisher]

... and of course, it will be immediately clear to everyone who knows Cole, and me, that I would never have posted such an incendiary comment without my tongue firmly in my cheek. Also wouldn't have posted thusly if I had not been fully confident that my dear friend Cole would get the joke, and not take offence.  In case anyone didn't get the joke, I responded to Cole's post in which he used the word 'short' three times in quick succession, with a post engineered to use the word 'long' four times.

I didn't really mean any of what I said. Cole posts stories more frequently, I suspect, than anyone else on this wonderful site, and therefore is the least deserving of my criticism...

Cole I love you to bits, as you very well know!

B x

Oh, and sorry to the AD Admin - I had forgotten I shouldn't have posted comments here other than story announcements - and now I've compounded the error. Mea Culpa. (Hangs head in shame)

[Camy]

That's a very, very long tongue you have there, Bruin. ?

Now I've lowered the tone sufficiently, I'll depart...

...and wait for Cole's tale of derring-do!

[Bruin Fisher]

My tongue... reaches the parts other tongues cannot reach; perhaps I should name it Heineken? (Possibly a Brit in-joke, if in doubt google it....)

[Cole Parker]

While I was joking with Bruin, I'm not joking now.  This is serious, something you don't get much from me.  Here it is:

Shortly, my short story that isn't so short is coming, but not today.  Not Saturday, either, but shortly thereafter.  So you don't have too long to wait .

C

[Bruin Fisher]

Three cheers! Breath bated, loins girded, all ready, waiting patiently...

[Camy]

How shortly thereafter is your short that isn't short going to arrive?

I need to know, because ... well, I just do.

As a Bird with less brain than the Bear I lack his dubious patience - not to mention his girded loins.

[Cole Parker]

All this talk about loins is getting me turned on, a dangerous proposition at my age.

The short answer about my due date is, September 26.  I'd write it 9/26/18 but I don't want to confuse you Brits.

C

 

[Bruin Fisher]

(Does little Snoopy dance)

 

[colinian]

5 hours ago, Cole Parker said:

The short answer about my due date is, September 26.  I'd write it 9/26/18 but I don't want to confuse you Brits.

C

They wouldn't have been confused if you'd written the date as 9/26/18 (which you actually did, but I digress). The reason they wouldn't be confused is that while 9 is a valid day value, 26 isn't a valid month value. At least here on earth. Of course, it could represent day 9 in 26 months from now, which would be February the 9th, 2020 which is two years in the future (26 - (12 * 2)). But just think how confused people would get, especially those who are arithmetically challenged.

Colin 

[Bruin Fisher]

1 hour ago, colinian said:

They wouldn't have been confused if ...

Colin 

 

Don't underestimate my capacity for confusion, Colin! Although you're correct, of course, that particular date is not ambiguous. If only you illogical colonials would write dates correctly: day/month/year, the logical order...  ?

[Cole Parker]

I didn't invent the system, I just follow it with no independent indulgences.  Just like I always follow the crowds and avoid ambiguous diversions.

C

[Camy]

Day - month - year. Seems simple. Shortest to longest period of time. Logical and scientific.

But no....

Tea in the harbour, mess up the date, burn the flag, stoke the hate.

Really quite Trumpian.

Except for my ancestors apparently losing a large chunk of Maryland, I'm not complaining. It's yours fair and square. But the date thing irks.

[colinian]

20 hours ago, Bruin Fisher said:

Don't underestimate my capacity for confusion, Colin! Although you're correct, of course, that particular date is not ambiguous. If only you illogical colonials would write dates correctly: day/month/year, the logical order...  ?

As a Computer Science major I learned the only correct way to enter dates. It is yyyy-mm-dd (and we don't use / because that has a separate meaning in the internet world). Entering them that way means they will always sort correctly: year first, then month, then day. And, no single digits! yyyy-mm-dd means using a 0 in front of single-digit month values and day values. So, today is 2018-09-23.

Colin 

[Cole Parker]

13 hours ago, Camy said:

But the date thing irks.

 It's no more irksome than you guys doing things at the weekend.  Anyone with an ounce of propriety knows we do things on the weekend.  No at.  On.

C

[Camy]

4 hours ago, Cole Parker said:

 It's no more irksome than you guys doing things at the weekend.  Anyone with an ounce of propriety knows we do things on the weekend.  No at.  On.

C

Well ... poop.

[Cole Parker]

Is that total agreement?  Will you start using 'on' instead of 'at' as a lesson and guidance for your compatriots?  One hopes so.

C

 

[colinian]

16 hours ago, Cole Parker said:

Is that total agreement?  Will you start using 'on' instead of 'at' as a lesson and guidance for your compatriots?  One hopes so.

So, does that mean we have to start saying "he works on night" instead of "he works at night"?

Colin 

[Merkin]

Not if he works on day.

[Cole Parker]

Hey, I don't determine the vernacular; I only use it.

C

[Bruin Fisher]

My old mate Vern, he has a lot to answer for... don't you, Mr Acular?!

[Trab]

On September 23, 2018 at 12:52 AM, colinian said:

As a Computer Science major I learned the only correct way to enter dates. It is yyyy-mm-dd (and we don't use / because that has a separate meaning in the internet world). Entering them that way means they will always sort correctly: year first, then month, then day. And, no single digits! yyyy-mm-dd means using a 0 in front of single-digit month values and day values. So, today is 2018-09-23.

Colin 

It's the international standard, actually. 

[Trab]

19 hours ago, colinian said:

So, does that mean we have to start saying "he works on night" instead of "he works at night"?

Colin 

Hey, everyone says "on Friday" not "at Friday" (and the same for other days). It's all English, so all effed up.