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Naughty Riddles

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Q.What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

A: A cherry float.

Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

A: 1 US leader

Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?

A: Beat it - we're closed.

Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?

A: To find a tight seal.

Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?

A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?

A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?

A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: What's another name for pickled bread?

A: Dill-dough.

Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?

A: She's withholding evidence.

Q: What's the difference between light and hard?

A: You can sleep with a light on.

Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?

A: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Q: What's the definition of macho?

A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A: Their balls are just for decoration


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Why is a cookie better than a penis?

2 reasons:

a.) you get to take the wrapper off a cookie before you eat it, and

b.) cookies are even better when they're soft and gooey.

What do the reindeer does do while their husbands are out pulling Santa's sleigh?

They go out for a night on the town and blow a few bucks.

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