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bilal

The South

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                                                                    It's the South    

 

 

Alabama

 A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"

 

 

Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

 

 

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .."

When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."

 

 

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"

The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

 

 

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

 

 

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

 

 

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

 

***

Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.

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Virginia

The other day my dang turn signal got stuck and I had to drive around the block until I ran out of gas.
 

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During halftime at a homecoming of the University of Alabama, a famous former running back was trotted out onto the field to thunderous applause by the crowd. The university president greeted him at the microphone and then addressed the crowd:

"Though we're all delighted that he could come back and visit us, I want to prove to you in the stands that besides being great athletes, Crimson Tide folks also have highly trained brains to succeed. To do this, I'm going to put Ezekiel on the spot here and ask him an academic question that he wasn't expecting."

Turning to the player, he said:

"What is 3 + 4?"

There was a bit of a pause, after which Ezekiel spoke into the microphone:  "7?" 

After another pause, the stunned crowd started chanting:  "Give him another chance!  Give him another chance!"

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On 2/15/2020 at 12:23 PM, Cole Parker said:

"What is 3 + 4?"

There was a bit of a pause, after which Ezekiel spoke into the microphone:  "7?" 

After another pause, the stunned crowd started chanting:  "Give him another chance!  Give him another chance!"

Sounds more a lot more like Arkansas.

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