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Camy

God Bothered

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God Bothered
by Camy

 

I used to be God bothered.
They'd come around every day.
No matter what I was doing
They would kneel on the stoop and pray.

They'd hand me glossy pamphlets
That spoke of God's great grace.
I never told them to 'fuck off,'
Especially to their face.

Instead I'd wear a black cloak,
Stick horns upon my head;
Froth and wail, beat my breast
And say I raised the dead.

It worked for a while, life went on,
Then a new lot came to town.
Devil worshippers one and all;
Sly grins and never a frown.

Mistakenly, I opened the door
With horns and cloak in place.
"You're one of us!" They shrieked in delight,
As I slammed the door in their face.

So here I am self-isolating...
Was it all a dream?
Or was God and his fallen Angel
Trying to make me SCREAM?!

 

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Nice one.

By the way, horns are a sign of the presence of God within a being. Look at Michelangelo's Moses.

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4 hours ago, Bruin Fisher said:

I always thought having the horn was indicative of a rather different state...

Only if you're Peter Cook or Dudley Moore.

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8 hours ago, Merkin said:

Now I see why all we get over here is your damned baking shows.

Ah, Bake Off. What can beat Bake Off, with those gloriously scrumptious fairy cakes. Do they give you the Horn too, James? :w00t:

 

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I have an idea that's another thing that's been translated on its way across the big pond. In the UK we have The Great British Bake Off, but am I right that when it's broadcast Stateside it's renamed The Great British Baking Show? I have no idea why...

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I think it's called that.   I tend not to watch it.  I did a few times, then stopped.  Very fussy judges and not much compassion.

We have Diners, Drive-ins and Dives on the Food channel.  Quite entertaining.  Some great looking food.

C

 

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