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A man sees an advertisement for adult education classes at the local community college. It sounds like a good opportunity, so he decides to sign up for a class. Seeking advice on what class he should register for, he asks the college counselor. The counselor suggests starting out with a basic logic course, as it would set a good foundation for critical thinking.

"What's logic?" He asks.

"Well, it's using what you know to assess and make sense of certain situations."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-whacker?"


"Well, using logic, I could reasonably assume that since you own a weed-whacker, you have a lawn."

"I do."

"And since you have a lawn, it wouldn't be unreasonable for me to assume that you have a house."

"That's right."

"Since you're a home-owner, I could guess, reasonably, that you are married."

"Hey, I am!"

"And since you're married, I can logically assume that you are heterosexual."

"That's right."

"So, you see, simply by your telling me that you own a weed-whacker, I used logic to deduce your sexuality."

"You know, that's pretty cool. I think I will take that logic class."

Later that day, his friend asks him what class he signed up for.

"Logic," he says.

"What's that?"

"Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-whacker?"


"What!? You never told me you were gay!"

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No quite- redneck logic always involves a logical construct with a dawg, truck or mamma at its core.

eg. If'n you don't have a dawg, drive a truck or love yo mamma, then you must be one of those commie, pinko homos.

This is the key distinction between Redneck logic and gomer logic. The two are quite often confused.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Blue ponders until he turns greenish and his ears get all pointy.

Fascinating. How, then, does one explain all those gay lawn boy stories? Does that mean they're legendary lawn boys? If you say they're just in fables, doesn't that mean they're, well, simply fabulous?

:D Always thinking!

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