Josiah Jacobus-Parker Posted January 15, 2006 Report Share Posted January 15, 2006 Bird I saw him flutter and flap around, Torn wings useless as he sprawled on the ground. Feathers soaked in browning blood Wings caked with brackish mud. Watching him, it was so sad But too late! He was had. As he shrieked and struggled about and flounced She flexed her claws and suddenly pounced. She bit, tugged and tore off his head And carried him away ?Dead. Quote Link to comment
dude Posted January 15, 2006 Report Share Posted January 15, 2006 Maybe is should just go away. :( Quote Link to comment
blue Posted January 15, 2006 Report Share Posted January 15, 2006 Strong imagery. Feral feline. If that "she" is a feline. Working out some inner aggressive / destructive tendencies lately? I've noticed a couple of your other poems deal with it too. Maybe some sports or martial arts would help. Or maybe a gentle friend or two to soothe the savage soul. Something to think about. Quote Link to comment
Josiah Jacobus-Parker Posted January 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 15, 2006 Working out some inner aggressive / destructive tendencies lately? I've noticed a couple of your other poems deal with it too. relationships can be a bitch like that. :( Quote Link to comment
Guest rusticmonk86 Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 I liked it. Because it is "dark and feral". Your choice of style was fitting and to the point. Break-up's suck; and I know at least three people here can attest to that. Keep writing. Mi casa es su casa. If you want to scream, go ahead. Do you have anything else macabre? (I know I keep adding to this.) Quote Link to comment
Josiah Jacobus-Parker Posted January 16, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 I liked it. Because it is "dark and feral". Your choice of style was fitting and to the point.Do you have anything else macabre? hahaha did you read "A Bittersweet Victory"? i might have a few others tucked away somewhere. I'll try and dig some out. They might need a bit of work though. Quote Link to comment
Guest rusticmonk86 Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 cool beans. how could i not read anything with that kind of title? Quote Link to comment
blue Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 Other subjects and moods would be welcome too. Hmm, I was trying for a nickname for "ArchangelMatthew72" besides your name. Heh, "Archie," doesn't quite fit. (Teasing you.) Quote Link to comment
Josiah Jacobus-Parker Posted January 16, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 Other subjects and moods would be welcome too. Hmm, I was trying for a nickname for "ArchangelMatthew72" besides your name. Heh, "Archie," doesn't quite fit. (Teasing you.) hahah Joey is fine. Or master. Master works too. Quote Link to comment
Tragic Rabbit Posted January 16, 2006 Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 Other subjects and moods would be welcome too. Hmm, I was trying for a nickname for "ArchangelMatthew72" besides your name. Heh, "Archie," doesn't quite fit. (Teasing you.) hahah Joey is fine. Or master. Master works too. Joey is NOT fine, it's taken. You be good or I'll spill your real nicknames, mate! Mega kisses, TR Quote Link to comment
Josiah Jacobus-Parker Posted January 16, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2006 Joey is NOT fine, it's taken. You be good or I'll spill your real nicknames, mate!Mega kisses, TR *GASP!* you wouldn't! no never mind. we both know that's a lie. you would. Quote Link to comment
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