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Another Day in Paradise: The WBMS Challenge


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WBMS remains on hiatus. However, I have long been irked by the fact that ADIP never formally wrapped up despite my best efforts. I finished the first three chapters, which are here on A/D of course. I started and deleted chapter (4) several times.

I feel ADIP should be finished because it's the fair thing to do for my loyal audience* and because the characters deserve closure.

The problem is I don't know where to go with it. It's been so long since I've worked on it, and I didn't have a plan when I started so I sort of wrote myself into a place I'm not sure I can see a way out of.

So the challenge is this: I will gladly take via e-mail (or posts here) ideas on how to end it and tidy everything up. I'll be honest I prefer the e-mail, though so as not to spoil it for everyone.

The winning idea -- if there is one -- receives an advance copy of the final draft, credit, and the satsifaction of knowing they helped. I know, small recompense. And, if nobody has any ideas, well at least I get closure out of that.

* Whomever he or she may be

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  • 4 months later...

I don't really like to explain myself to anyone, but the e-mail/PMs I've received from a few of you in response to chapter four indicates I ought to and I will do the right thing and explain myself. Unlike most net-authors that bristle at criticism, I don't mind if it's honest and well thought out. In fact, I appreciate it. E-mail is good.

I do hope when you all read the opening few sentences of chapter five you will forgive me for the last sentences of chapter four. (There will be no cliche dream sequence either -- that would be cheating my readers).

I worded those last 2 sentences of chapter four very very very very carefully. It seems a number of people who have put trust in me in the past think I've let them down. But I haven't. Rational people do not behave in irrational fashion and neither do my characters. There is something happening. I promise.

If you can trust me for one more chapter, you won't be disappointed. This story is still what the first 3-1/2 chapters appear to be. Understand, for a character to be believable the character has to be real. Real people have real flaws. They do really dumb things because life happens and they react to it. Sometimes they do things with tragic consequences.

As an author it's my JOB to manipulate your emotions. You have to care for the character or he's not very good. Remember, almost anyone can have their shot at redemption. To assure you all: this author will not write gorey scenes -- I am mindful of my audience and this site's goals. I encourage you to re-read the part you're thinking about, it's actually incredibly tame. What you're picturing is all in your mind. I still think that means I've done a good job.

I appreciate your support and hope you will patiently await the arrival of chapter five so you can decide for yourself if I've let you down or not. Have faith.

PS: I am looking for an editor for ADIP. Chapter Five should be in the can soon and a good editor is always helpful....

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Hey, WBMS. It has been quite a while since I'd read ADIP. So I'm rereading it before getting to Chapter 4. :razz: Shocking chapter end, huh? Well, I remember the story opens with a bang, so I'm assuming 4 will have a bang or two too. Chapter the Fifth is forthcoming, eh? You'd really think it might be fifthcoming. :ducks:

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Hey, WBMS. It has been quite a while since I'd read ADIP. So I'm rereading it before getting to Chapter 4.  :shock: Shocking chapter end, huh? Well, I remember the story opens with a bang, so I'm assuming 4 will have a bang or two too. Chapter the Fifth is forthcoming, eh? You'd really think it might be fifthcoming. :ducks:

Well not only is it fifthcoming (soon as I get a victim, er, volunteer) but it will be sixthcoming.

I'll tell you I was four pages in to chapter five when our dear lear posted four. I'll be honest, I was really appalled at the reaction I got. I almost said f*** it and gave up right then out of frustration.

All good authors when writing a character know how that character acts. If someone is a murderer, then he's a murderer. But if someone doesn't have it to kill in cold blood, there's not much that can change that. I assumed my readers would trust me more than that. Never assume.

I'm not a 'cop-out' sort of writer and my sane characters always behave the way they should. So I ended up writing that post above after an intelligent reader wrote me a long post as to why he was disappointed.

I've got lots of mixed feelings, but Driver cheered me up yesterday and today and I'm feeling a bit better about it. I really don't care if someone likes or dislikes what I read, but I won't let me readers down like that.

(On the plus side, I always said I wanted mail, but that wasn't quite what I had in mind.)

And I've missed your posts.

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Re: your post. "I really don't care if someone likes or dislikes what I read, but I won't let me readers down like that." I think maybe you meant you don't care if someone likes or dislikes what you WRITE. :) After all, they can't really know what you READ at all. :D

I love the end of Ch.4 and can't wait to see how things develope.

Bart

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"I really don't care if someone likes or dislikes what I read, but I won't let me readers down like that." I think maybe you meant you don't care if someone likes or dislikes what you WRITE. :) After all, they can't really know what you READ at all.

Proving why I need that editor :D Wow, that's just embarrassing. I could go back and edit the post but I won't. Everyone can now see I AM AN IDIOT!

I love the end of Ch.4 and can't wait to see how things develop.

Thanks. I'm glad someone liked it :)

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Everyone can now see I AM AN IDIOT!

Yes, to my mind, that's always been one of the advantages of posting on forums. :razz:

I've begun the concluding chapters of Drama Club for some of the reasons you've cited, one being that its unfinished state was a constant nibble in the back of what passes for my mind. Another was the relentless emailing of TR by DC readers...

Dude's threat to take away my blankie had nothing to do with it. :violent1:

Kisses...

TR

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Hey WBMS -- A story strikes everyone differently, and that can have to do with their past, their present, their ideals...aw, but you know that.

Confession time: I discovered that I didn't remember reading ch. 2 or 3. Well, I've read all four now.

The clues were there that the char. was too out of touch with reality, in a bad way, but they were, like in life, not quite obvious to the others in the story. That'd be an issue to cover in ch. 5 or later.

Please write chapter 5, or further, so there's a resolution to the story. I'm sure you have something more to say about these characters, and the readers won't want to be left wondering what happens.

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Please write chapter 5, or further, so there's a resolution to the story. I'm sure you have something more to say about these characters, and the readers won't want to be left wondering what happens.

Five is (mostly) done. Expect it here really, really soon: this week or next week's update.

There will be a six as well :)

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Chapter 5: Some questions answered, but a whole lot more remain.

I had to wonder, were I in Tibor's shoes, if I'd be as sanguine about another encounter with Maxfield.

But this is a story in which not everyone is exactly what they seem to be, isn't it? Note this sentence vis-?-vis Tibor in chapter one:

"The trouble was, like most teens, what you saw on the outside wasn't necessarily related to what was happening on the inside."

Eager to read more.

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Chapter 5: Some questions answered, but a whole lot more remain.

I had to wonder, were I in Tibor's shoes, if I'd be as sanguine about another encounter with Maxfield.

Would I? Hell, no.

There is more to come and as you so adeptly point out not everyone is quite who they seem to be.

"The trouble was, like most teens, what you saw on the outside wasn't necessarily related to what was happening on the inside."

I love a reader who throws my own words back at me. Honestly, I didn't remember writing that as a plot point but more of a statement on teenager-hood. But it works, n'est ce pas?

Eager to read more.

I'm glad. After the e-mails I received after 4, I wasn't quite certain many people would want to read more. But there are those of you out there who do, and you will be rewarded with chapter six -- as soon as I am ready to do so.

Thank YOU loyal readers for your support.

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Chapter 5: Some questions answered, but a whole lot more remain.

I had to wonder, were I in Tibor's shoes, if I'd be as sanguine about another encounter with Maxfield.

Would I? Hell, no.

I honestly did wonder, but I also couldn't resist using sanguine in this particular context. :shock:

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I was very impressed with Chapter 5.

While I wouldn't trust Maxfield, I'm at least willing to consider circumstances...maybe. I'm still not convinced of Maxfield.

The situation's so unreal that I can see why both Tibor and Bam don't react as I'd expect them to. For that matter, they have time to think it over.

I'm very sure there's more to all this. WBMS has written a mystery thriller. It's convoluted and harsh, but then, so are the headlines.

I suspect WBMS has some more surprises and some things to think about in the remaining chapters.

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I was very impressed with Chapter 5.  

While I wouldn't trust Maxfield, I'm at least willing to consider circumstances...maybe. I'm still not convinced of Maxfield.  

The situation's so unreal that I can see why both Tibor and Bam don't react as I'd expect them to. For that matter, they have time to think it over.

I'm very sure there's more to all this. WBMS has written a mystery thriller. It's convoluted and harsh, but then, so are the headlines.  

I suspect WBMS has some more surprises and some things to think about in the remaining chapters.

WBMS has already made it to page three in chapter six. I believe "sanguine" has been put to rest with an exclamation point.

And now we return to our regularly schedule soap opera. Chapter Six isn't the end either. Nothing from me in two years (other than 2 short pieces) and then two chapters in two weeks :)

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Acceleration's generally good, unless approaching a stationary object...or sometimes a stationery object.

If you find you're approaching C, put it into warp and see where you go! Then again, if you're approaching C++, just be very objective about it.

Heheheheh. I'm easily amused, and have an obvious weakness for puns.

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Hey WBMS,

Looking forward to Chapter Six. You certainly portray an interesting mix of characters. Tibor's silence to the police needs to be explored. :o

Perhaps two more chapters in another two weeks? I'm enjoying the rather unusual story line but would like to understand the "whys" of the protagonist's acceptance of a guy who attacked him.

Good show.

Jack 8)

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I've begun the concluding chapters of Drama Club for some of the reasons you've cited, one being that its unfinished state was a constant nibble in the back of what passes for my mind.

Hey, that's excellent news. I think you've got the core of a terrific story here, and it deserves a full-fledged ending that wraps up all the little details.

Sincere best wishes in completing it; I can't wait to read it!

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