An Epicurean poem

[Josiah Jacobus-Parker]

Ok, so I feel kind of... I don't know, disquieted? that my first posting since god-knows when is from college in the form of an in-class exercise done today.

The exercise was simple enough:

Use "The way things work" four times

Use "I believe" three times

End with "Eventually something swerves"

And use only sayings and messages from Epicurus' The Extant Letters without changing his meanings.

This was what I came up with in the fifteen minutes given:

Wake up to the blessedness!

We must heal ourselves.

That is the way things work.

Troubles, concerns, anger,

I believe

These things are

Weakness, fear,

And dependence on one?s neighbors

The fruit of self-sufficiency--

That is freedom,

That is the way things work.

I believe

What is active is raging

Madly.

The cry of the flesh:

Not to be hungry,

Not to be thirsty,

Not to be cold,

Are all that can be

Answered by the soul.

For in this unlimitedness of worlds

Wealth is poverty when it comes

To desires.

The way things work

Is that nothing comes from nothing

And all thinks continue to flow.

I believe that atoms fall

Throughout the void.

They are the seeds of creation

And the way things work,

Is that, eventually,

Something swerves.

---------------------------------

I'm just looking for some thoughts and ideas of maybe tweaking it a bit to make the timing better or... anything? Obviously, only certian things can be changed because they are Epicurus' words.

But any help at all would be greatly appreciated.

[Guest rusticmonk86]

nice, dude. i like how you ended it.

the whole thing was great.

you get an A and immunity from the next challenge.

congratulations.

[Guest rusticmonk86]

:p

[Josiah Jacobus-Parker]

you get an A and immunity from the next challenge.

congratulations.

Dear god, you have no idea how much I wish that were true right now. I have 30 of 120 pages left to read tonight, and then wright a 2 1/2 page essay about the conflicts in Scene 1 of Antigone.

Where are those slave-labor writing gremlins when you need them?