Pain Inside Of Me

[Jason Rimbaud]

PAIN INSIDE OF ME

By: Jason R

Everything is closing?closing in on me

I embrace all things?sweet stupidity

When I remember?I think of how it used to be

Your face I see in dreams?in my mind

I invoke the gods to strike?strike me blind

But eluding all these curses?you I always find

Once burning hot?the fire had finally died

Standing each of us?across this great divide

Never giving up on you?even though I?ve tried

You dominate my dreams?even to this day

Haunting me in my sleep?I never get to say

Screaming out for eternity?I just can?t get away

Smiling to your face?believing what you see

As I lay and as I bleed?as I cry and as I need

So you will never see?this pain inside of me

[Tragic Rabbit]

I like it. Interesting rhyme structure, also unusual word pattern with the elipses. Not sure about the elipses but did like the rhyme structure. The more understated phrases were, conversely, more powerful for me.

TR

[Camy]

This work really well as a lyric for a song. I found myself humming rather than reading.

Good stuff!

Camy