gay turning fifteen

[Tragic Rabbit]

Gay turning fifteen?s not what it seems,

Mornings are shorter, nights filled with dreams;

Privacy?s lacking and secrecy short,

My room is a sanctum and teenage fort.

When Mother comes knocking, calling my name,

Sister looking for someone to blame

Or when the trash needs taken outside:

I lock my door, get headphones and hide.

Music at midnight, online till dawn

Downloading pix of muscles and brawn,

Erasing my cookies with such care

That no one would know I had been there.

When morning finds me, I close my eyes

Envision orchards, trees filled with guys,

And I pluck my fruit so quietly

That no one suspects but thee and me.

Mother keeps asking why I?m so clean

Yet my showers take hours unseen,

Fusses because of Kleenex I?ve used

Whole boxes wadded leave her confused.

Fifteen is hard work; gay makes it worse

Keeping such secrets feels like a curse;

But whom would I tell? Not Mom, not Dad

And it?s not the same, emailing GLAAD.

Fifteen?s confusing but I am sure

That sixteen will prove to be the cure;

So I wait for my birthday in spring

And all the wisdom next year will bring.

*

[Jason Rimbaud]

I think you pretty much summed up my life at fifteen. Great turn of phrase TR.

They say age brings wisdom, I disagree, I say age only brings wrinkles.

Mother keeps asking why I?m so clean

Yet my showers take hours unseen,

Fusses because of Kleenex I?ve used

Whole boxes wadded leave her confused.

My favorite stanza. Great imagery.

Jason R.

[Camy]

When I was fifteen I felt so goddam guilty dreaming of boys ... actually the dreaming was great but the feelings afterwards... awful. Now, when I try and analyse why I felt that way, and try and find the point in time when I stopped feeling guilty, I can't. Weird.

Anyway this isn't the therapy forum, this is the poetry forum.

Good poem TR!

I'm with stanzas 1,2,4,6 & 7 unfortunately there was no internet which is probably a good thing, and the school had a great laundry service so no kleenex required.

My Favourite is definitely

When morning finds me, I close my eyes

Envision orchards, trees filled with guys,

And I pluck my fruit so quietly

That no one suspects but thee and me.