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Employee Assessments

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This was sent to me: not by my boss.

Employee Assessments

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this employee to breed.

3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.

4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

5. When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.

6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

7. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

9. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.

10. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

11. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

12. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

13. He's been working with glue too much.

14. He would argue with a signpost.

15. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

16. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

17. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

18. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

19. Gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train isn't coming.

20. He's got 2 brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

21. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

22. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

23. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

24. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.

25. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

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