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Adam Donaldson Powell

If By Chance - Nickolas James

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Just read the first chapter, and I thought it was very well done. There's definitely a lot of potential in the story, and I congratulate the author to confront a difficult issue -- a lead character who's unable to commit -- and somehow make the character sympathetic and the story entertaining.

I'd suggest it needs more dialogue, though. I think relying on too much prose and description makes the story too objective and not emotional enough. To me, the best fiction has a delicate balance between description and dialogue, but I concede it's a tough tightrope to walk.

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I know there's a few chapters out now, but when I saw the first draft of chapter 1, it came at a good time. My staff and myself had just gone thru a mandatory session on Harassment at work. So it was fresh in my mind.

As for dialog, it picks up as the story continues.

Nick is also becoming a Master of Misdirection in his stories.

Jan

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It's a trick...I'm going to send it secretly when you least expect it, so that it sneaks up on you. Hopefully while you're holding your brush like a microphone and singing into it in front of the mirror

I've broken too many mirrors doing that so I had to give it up.

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