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Jason Rimbaud

Untitled Poem as of Right Now

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It only rhymes if you speak with an Australian accent.

C

It rhymes in English too. :brooding::lol::w00t::lol::w00t:

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And it's also almost a haiku. You didn't mention that!

C

Just for you Cole, the Haiku:

I stand in awe, man.

Standing makes my back feel sore.

Then I sit in awe.

:brooding:

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Is there some other way out of here

Other than driven by our own fear

Maybe appeal, of those we hold dear

Self reliance abandoned, that much is clear

But am I leaving or running away

By not moving from where I stay

Faltering, each and every day

No, there must be another way

I must search out the reason why

More so now that I feel the end is nigh

Loneliness rules; I refuse to die

Without knowing, why am I?

If I step back and look for clues

Willing, as always, to pay my dues

What will I find, and what will I lose?

If I am unwilling to choose?

The end is nigh; a decision soon

By the half, quarter or full moon?

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Is there some other way out of here

Other than driven by our own fear

Maybe appeal, of those we hold dear

Self reliance abandoned, that much is clear

But am I leaving or running away

By not moving from where I stay

Faltering, each and every day

No, there must be another way

I must search out the reason why

More so now that I feel the end is nigh

Loneliness rules; I refuse to die

Without knowing, why am I?

If I step back and look for clues

Willing, as always, to pay my dues

What will I find, and what will I lose?

If I am unwilling to choose?

The end is nigh; a decision soon

By the half, quarter or full moon?

Shall I wait till the Sun's high noon?

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Is there some other way out of here

Other than driven by our own fear

Maybe appeal, of those we hold dear

Self reliance abandoned, that much is clear

But am I leaving or running away

By not moving from where I stay

Faltering, each and every day

No, there must be another way

I must search out the reason why

More so now that I feel the end is nigh

Loneliness rules; I refuse to die

Without knowing, why am I?

If I step back and look for clues

Willing, as always, to pay my dues

What will I find, and what will I lose?

If I am unwilling to choose?

The end is nigh; a decision soon

By the half, quarter or full moon?

Shall I wait till the Sun's high noon?

Before I banish all thoughts of doom.

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It seems like a good ending to me Jason.

And I think it worked a whole lot better than I first thought it would.

Thanks for getting the idea started.

I particularly like the idea of the final wait, before the implied reasoning of the banishment of doom at the Sun's zenith.

Or have I read too much into it?

Doesn't matter I still like it.

:lol:

Next.

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Is there some other way out of here

Other than driven by our own fear

Maybe appeal, of those we hold dear

Self reliance abandoned, that much is clear

that sentence... shouldn't it be:

Maybe appeal, to those we hold dear?

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Is there some other way out of here

Other than driven by our own fear

Maybe appeal, of those we hold dear

Self reliance abandoned, that much is clear

that sentence... shouldn't it be:

Maybe appeal, to those we hold dear?

Hylas, I didn't write the line in question and subject to the author's intention, the phrase can be either 'to' or 'of.'

As I see it, as written, "the appeal, is of those we hold dear" in other words the people he holds dear have made an appeal to him, (presumably in empathy with him and in concern for his quandary), OR he has "of those he holds dear, made an appeal." If the latter then 'from' might have been another choice.

Your suggestion would I think be seen as, that he was appealing to those he holds dear.

Put into context with the other lines other side of it, then I see that your suggestion for 'to' rather than 'of' does seem better suited to the verse.

Yet, it is poetry and we must not dismiss the qualifying first word, 'Maybe'. Therefore, I rather like the aberration and uncertainty of the appeal being 'of' him, rather than 'to', 'from' or even 'for' him.

Just my thoughts. :lol: and thank you Hylas for an interesting observation. :lol:

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Interesting commentary on that line. It is actually mine (wow, I've caused some controversy...imagine that), the strange part is that I meant it to be as Hylas has suggested, an appeal TO those we hold dear, but word usage being what it is, very regionalized in some cases, the word I chose, "of" is perfectly acceptable for that meaning. I would like it to remain there, providing just enough ambiguity to make things interesting.

Think of a modified line, "Maybe appeal, of God" and you'll see that it is not as far off as one might initially think.

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May I offer, on Des' behalf:

ǝɔɐǝd ɹǝuuı

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May I offer, on Des' behalf:

ǝɔɐǝd ɹǝuuı

Why me? Why do I always have to go first? Why Can't I go after you? Don't answer that! :lol:

Aha! Trab has saved me. Trab? Did you mean to print that upside down? How did you do that? Very inventive.

The suggestion of turmoil from being upside down, hmmm.

I think we might see a number of equally interesting titles.

I'll throw this one in for thought:

Getting Out of Dodge

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I keep reading it and what I come up with is short and simple:

Decision to Decide or just plain Decision

--Steven Keiths

If you can't laugh at yourself; you're probably not funny.

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We could of course keep everyone happy:

Decision Dodging for Inner Peace.

or maybe that should be

Decision Dodging for ǝɔɐǝd ɹǝuuı

:lol:

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Decision Dodging for Inner Peace for Those in Turmoil When Approaching High Noon.

:lol:

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