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Tanuki Racoon

The Voodoo Penis

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(A friend from the Northeast sent me this today -- it's certainly making the rounds so it's time to share it. I nearly wet myself.)

A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip, so he thought

he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and

explained his situation.

The man there said, "Well, I don"t know that I have anything that will keep

her occupied for so many weeks, except... the Voodoo Penis!"

The husband said "The what"?

The man repeated " The Voodoo Penis" and pulled out what seemed to be an

ordinary dildo.

The husband laughed, and said, "It looks like a dildo!"

The man then pointed to the door and said, "Voodoo Penis, door!" The penis

rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding the

keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much that a crack

began to form down the middle. Then the man said "Voodoo Penis, return to

box!" and the penis stopped and returned to the box. The husband bought it.

He took it home to his wife, And after the husband had been gone a few days,

the wife remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said

"Voodoo Penis, my crotch." The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely

incredible.

After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided

she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband

had neglected to tell her how to turn it off. So she put her clothes on, got

in her car and started for the hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve over the road.

A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her

license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching,

the woman said "I haven"t had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got

this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me..."

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, "Yeah

right... Voodoo Penis, my ass...!"

The rest, as they say, is history...

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