Gays, Marriage and Young Love

[Anthony]

Dear Funtails,

You wrote:

And my question, Anthony?

I wasn't intentionally ducking the question. I'm 73 and really don't know what sort of pressures young gay guys feel. I guess I have to answer how I think I would if I were young.

I wasn't happy with promiscuity even when I was promiscuous. I would always have been looking for a lifelong partner and when I found one I would want it to be a partnership that society would recognise and approve of so I would probably want to get married (or a civil partnership or whatever).

But, on the other hand, I have a daughter with a long term partner and children of 12 and 9 who refuses to get married because the first time she got married it changed her relationship so much for the worse.

Maybe I would feel like that. I don't know. But if it had to be a church wedding I'd certainly never do it.

[Fun Tails]

Yeah, my last question got posted at the end of page one, so it's easy to overlook.

Here it is again:

How hard has it been to stay faithful to your wife? Back before, when I was religous, I had pretty much resigned myself to marrying a woman. I figured that the mere physical closeness of sex would be enough of a turn on that I'd be able to um perform when needed but, that if I had to, I'd fantasize about guys when I had sex with her so I could get it up. ANy thoughts on this area?

[colinian]

This morning the California Supreme Court overturned the ban on gay marriage. As a result, California becomes the second state to authorize gay marriage. There is no appeal to their decision. However, a coalition of religious and social conservative groups is attempting to put a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage on the ballot in California. Recent polls have shown that a majority of Californians would vote against such a measure, but that's before any campaigning which could change public opinion.

See the article at http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/wireStory?id=4859659.

Colin :icon_geek

[Fun Tails]

Just before this announcement FoX News had a legal expert on, going on about how the Cali. Court was conservative and wasn't likely to stick its neck out and be 'activist' against the law of the legislature etc.

Then they broke for a commerical advertising a Christian Rock CD collection.

Fair and balanced, my hairy left nut...

[Drewbie]

That's nothing new for fox news. Read some of the comments on that link it's a bunch of laugh's

[Fun Tails]

Also, to add. I think this case could be humongous in its reach because California is 1/8 the population of the USA and probably has 1/5 of the gay population. If gay marriage starts happening there, they will become visible throughout the coutnry very quickly. Soon, states like FL and Wisconsin etc are going to have to deal with gays married in California who move there and want to adopt or jointly own holiday property there etc. This could force the whole country to accept gay marriage as a fact of life, even if they don't like it.

------------

On a sad note, CNN says that an appeal of the decision is likely.

[DesDownunder]

It is all a cunning Bush administration plot to get all the gays in the US to go to California.

They believe that if they can get all the Gays into California, the extra weight will cause the San Andreas fault to snap and dump all those crazy Californians along with the gays into the Pacific Ocean where they will be condemned to a watery grave for their wicked ways.

[Anthony]

Sorry about that, Funtails,

You wrote:

Here it is again:

How hard has it been to stay faithful to your wife? Back before, when I was religous, I had pretty much resigned myself to marrying a woman. I figured that the mere physical closeness of sex would be enough of a turn on that I'd be able to um perform when needed but, that if I had to, I'd fantasize about guys when I had sex with her so I could get it up. ANy thoughts on this area?

Well not really hard at all. We agreed that we would stay together - no foreign assignments etc and that if we were forced to be apart for more than a week or two we would forgive each other for succumbing to temptation (if we did!). But we never did have to part for more than a week and we are still both faithful.

And I am one of those peculiar people who never did fantasize. The here and now of my own response to my own hand was enough for me. And I only ever had one wet dream in my life and it was about the guy I was in love with but it was unreqiuited and it was six years before I met my wife. Nor did I have any difficulty about getting it up until a few years ago when I began to suffer from erectile dysfunction.

And although I say I am 90% gay she says I must be bi because the sex we have had between us has been very satisfactory for both of us. So it wasn't a question of 'having to perform' I have always liked sex with her. I think it wouldn't have worked if I didn't like it.

But as my daughter said "If Sylvia died you wouldn't be looking for another woman would you? It would be a man." and she is quite right.

[Anthony]

Dear Des,

I didn't know things in Oz were so bad.

You sign:

Call me naive if you want, but life without trust in the goodness of others would be intolerable.

Amen to that.

[DesDownunder]

Dear Des,

I didn't know things in Oz were so bad.

You sign:

Call me naive if you want, but life without trust in the goodness of others would be intolerable.

Amen to that.

I suppose we are still lucky in many respects Anthony, but we do seem to be suffering an attack on our freedoms by conservative minded politicians.

This article in the local newspaper (The Advertiser) is beyond belief and almost a satire in itself. Whilst it is not Earth shattering it does display some rather peculiar thinking in the school.

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0...from=public_rss

In the mean time the Premier has been visiting Arnold Schwarzenegger in California during a world trip. As one wag put it the only reason for the visit, would be for when he writes his book called, "Famous people who Have Met Me."

Oh well we still have a sense of humour.

[Cole Parker]

That school is a law suit waiting to happen.

The kid's cute, though.

C

[colinian]

Just before this announcement FoX News had a legal expert on, going on about how the Cali. Court was conservative and wasn't likely to stick its neck out and be 'activist' against the law of the legislature etc.

Then they broke for a commercial advertising a Christian Rock CD collection.

Fair and balanced, my hairy left nut...

The California Supreme Court is conservative. Six of the seven justices were appointed by conservative Republican governors, including Chief Justice Ronald M. George who wrote the majority opinion.

An interesting aspect of the California Supreme Court ruling is that denial of rights to marriage of same-sex couples violates the equal protection clause of the Constitution of the State of California. Here's part of the reasoning:

Finally, retaining the designation of marriage exclusively for opposite-sex

couples and providing only a separate and distinct designation for same-sex

couples may well have the effect of perpetuating a more general premise ? now

emphatically rejected by this state ? that gay individuals and same-sex couples

are in some respects ?second-class citizens? who may, under the law, be treated

differently from, and less favorably than, heterosexual individuals or opposite-sex

couples. Under these circumstances, we cannot find that retention of the

traditional definition of marriage constitutes a compelling state interest.

Accordingly, we conclude that to the extent the current California statutory

provisions limit marriage to opposite-sex couples, these statutes are

unconstitutional.

This ruling puts a significant burden on those wishing to pass a referendum banning same-sex marriage. They would have to rewrite the equal protection clause of the California State Constitution, something that would be very difficult to be approved by the voters because it opens a real can of worms, would be stating that same-sex couple do not have rights granted by the equal protection clause. Interestingly, the same-sex marriage ruling by the Massachusetts Supreme Court also cited the equal protection clause of the Massachusetts State Constitution as a rationalle for their decision.

The backers of the referendum are going to the Supreme Court to ask that their decision be stayed until the referendum is voted upon, assuming that it's validated by the Secretary of State for the November ballot. My guess is that it will be turned down by at least the same majority (4 to 3).

There's an interesting analysis in the Los Angeles Times that states that this was "...a broadly worded decision that would invalidate virtually any law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation."

Fun and games, boys and girls, fun and games. At this moment, it looks like a win-win situation. We'll have to wait and see.

Colin

[Tanuki Racoon]

Fun and games, boys and girls, fun and games. At this moment, it looks like a win-win situation. We'll have to wait and see.

I hope so Colin. I really, really, do.

Also, I wish to point out your Avatar reminds me a little of Sideshow Bob.

[Cole Parker]

Leave it to the coon to mention a pejorative, evil icon of the younger generation as a counterbalance to Colin's joy. Fie on you, Coon, fie, I say!

What does that mean, anyway. Fie? Isn't that something Jack's giant said, along with something about making bread of bonemeal? None of that ever did make much sense. Where does one buy bonemeal, for god's sake? I didn't find it at either Kroger's or Safeway the last time I asked. By the way, try not to do that if the manager is bigger than you are. And why not use one of the traditional flours, which are plentiful and cheap and tasty? And what does it have to do with fieing all over the place?

But the point is, let the youngsters have their moment, you old fogey. Yeah, I think that was the point. Don't ruin it with reminders of backstabbing psychos. Sideshow Bob. Jeeze!

And by the way, did anyone notice that Arnold said he wasn't going to interfere? Nice to have him on our side for once.

C

[colinian]

Also, I wish to point out your Avatar reminds me a little of Sideshow Bob.

My father is very upset that you recognized how much I look like him.

Colin