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jack scribe

Dog vs. Cat

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DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bimbos!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

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Cats get a bad rap for being cold and aloof but lots of cats are really quite affectionate.

I have one who pouts if I don't let him sit in my lap (Edward, the Black Prince) and another who attacks my ankels if I don't play with him enough (Shortie, Edward's youngest son).

My old yellow tabby waits until I'm asleep and parks himself behind my head on the pillow(Boo) and Fast Eddie, (Edwards oldest, Crown Prince of the yard) just purrs and dances when you pet him. He'll play kill the feather for hours or as long as the feather hold up under his razor sharp claws.

:cat: - Boo

:hehe: - Edward, the Black Prince

:lol: -Fast Eddie, Edwards eldest son and Crown Prince of the yard

:icon_cat: -Shortie, Edward's youngest

PS- all cats are royalty, just ask any of them.

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Cats are definitely Royalty.

As a 12 year old, I set up a throne room in my grandparents living room (my Mum was between husbands, so we lived with her parents).

Anyway I set up three regal red velvet cushions on the couch and then played the majestic ending of the Tchaikovsky 5th Symphony on the record player.

At the right moment I would release my three cats at the entrance to the room, and they would walk like the royalty they were, to the cushions and pose on them until the music finished. It was so damn cute. And yes they slept with me too.

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