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Saret Kefa

Cherry Popping

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Okay, I kind of lost my virginity last night and it was really awesome. I mean it was so amazing. But the guy I was with was acting differently.

Before it happened, we were all over each other. Kissing after every breath, smooshing togther like we were trying to mesh our bodies into one. Even during we were like that. For the entire four hours we were just all over each other. And then afterward we only kissed a few times, and then I drove him home and we didnt even hold hands that much in the car, and I didnt even get a kiss goodnight (granted it was in front of his parent's house and they dont know, but still).

Now its noon the day after, and he hasnt called me or sent me a text message (we're ALWAYS texting each other). and I know that he called me friend Tasha so its not like he lost both his arms and he cant dial... But he is still at work until 4, so Im not gonna worry about that until then. I dont know! I mean after it happened, I wanted to like I dunno....cuddle or somethin. (Im such a woman (no offense, lesbians)) I dont know what to think!!!!

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Hey, don't panic, OK? You had a good experience, better than you thought, right? There are many reasons he may not have called back yet. Some are just fine, others are not so fine. Is there a chance he might not know quite what to think either? I hope it turns out well for you. Remember you have people here who'll listen if you need it.

Let people know how you're doing, alright? -- A spare :blush: for when you need it.

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Welcome to the company of men, saret.

It's not uncommon for guys to be really nervous after such a profound experience...give your friend a little time to deal with what happened, and if he doesn't call you, call him. This is not the time to stand on false pride, and refuse to initiate contact.

I hope that this situation works out well for you. Add my :blush: to Blue's, just for a rainy day.

cheers!

aj

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Well you guys were right. I finally called him and we talked and he wasnt even phased. I guess I was just being paranoid. We went out to a movie this evening and were all snuggly in the back row, it was cool. And then on the way home he did something while I was driving that almost made me crash, and that Ive only read about in Penthouse forum! lol so I guess it was all in my head.

Thanks for the advice!

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Well you guys were right. I finally called him and we talked and he wasnt even phased. I guess I was just being paranoid. We went out to a movie this evening and were all snuggly in the back row, it was cool. And then on the way home he did something while I was driving that almost made me crash, and that Ive only read about in Penthouse forum! lol so I guess it was all in my head.

Thanks for the advice!

LOL! Great news, and good luck ;-)

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Saret Kefa,

That's great news for you and your boyfriend.

Heh, you should probably pull over for that one activity. :) :smt023

Well see, that's the other thing. I think that he just wants to be like, 'friends with benefits'

He tries to pretend he's bi, but we both know it isnt true. He's just so confusing. He loves to fool around and make out and hold hands and all this, but like he doesnt want to date a guy. I think it might be because of his parents, they are ultra strict and his mom told him that if anyone found out he liked boys they would move away. He sends me such mixed signals, and its just so confusing.

We initially hooked up like a year ago when we first met in high school. Then he went all hetero on me and I lectured him on being in denial. I was rather harsh and we didnt talk for a few months. Then we stumbled across each other, and this happened.

Im so confused as to what to do. I dont want to ask him about it because Im afraid it will scare him away. And I dont want to stick around just to end up being hurt again. Im so conflicted.

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Hey, Saret Kefa,

OK, maybe I can offer some perspective as "Peeking-Out-Of-Closet-Boy."

:!: Yes, there are also guys and girls out there who just want to play around or be "friends with benefits."

:idea: But let's consider the optimistic view a little more closely, just in case.

His parents know he's gay or bi, but they say if anyone finds out they'll move. Wow, how magnanimous. (not)

He's conflicted. Well, dang, who wouldn't be, growing up in a household like that. -- Hang on, I'm making a point, I'm not being facetious or pissy. (Hey, I cussed on the forum, maybe I really am loosening up.)

For all I know, your parents might not be thrilled either. OK, we live with that.

This is where my closet-boy experience kicks in.

He's conflicted. He has these feelings he doesn't know how to understand. He may wonder if they're right or wrong. But if those feelings are real, then they are deep down and he is going to have to face them and deal with them. But it's hard to do that, when it's a basic thing like right and wrong, love, sex, that gets right down where you live. You know that.

So he needs some help to understand and feel comfortable with doing things with you, and with being himself, letting himself show his feelings, be a boyfriend, all that. He may be scared he's being bad or not a man, on some level. I know, that may sound offensive to you, but he may really worry about that. So he needs reassurance to get past all that.

:arrow: Only you are there and know what you feel and what he is doing. You will need some time to think and see, before you can know for sure what you feel and what he feels.

This is emotional and it's sure not easy.

Hang in there, buddy. We're here for ya, however things are going.

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