Speeding to a Climax

[DesDownunder]

Masturbating driver fined for 'bizarre' pleasure cruise

A Darwin man has been fined $2,000 for filming himself masturbating while speeding along the Stuart Highway.

The man is already in jail until August after pleading guilty to carrying cannabis in the car boot and two plants on the back seat.

Brenton Alan Erhardt, 39, pleaded guilty in the Darwin Magistrates Court to dangerous driving.

He was pulled over by police on the Stuart Highway in July speeding at 147 kilometres per hour, south of Daly Waters.

He admitted to officers he filmed himself masturbating while driving from Adelaide to Darwin.

He also pleaded guilty to driving unlicensed, carrying two cannabis smoking pipes, administering the drug and carrying a loaded rifle.

Magistrate Sue Oliver says the driving was bizarre to say the least and conduct she expects of someone much younger.

Report by the ABC

Seems like he was going over the limit to me.

[Bruin Fisher]

While speeding, this real bonzer guy

Films himself parting his fly.

He's tugging his dong

When the cops come along,

He's on weed so he comes fast and high.

[DesDownunder]

Brenton's fun was much too much,

Videoing his play with his such and such

When along came the cops

Who discovered his crops

And hauled him up before the judge.

The thought occurred to the judge,

From which she would not budge,

That he wasn't that young,

To play with what was hung,

Thus showing she had lost her touch.

While Breton is not faultless,

He may have taught us,

That to speed with dope

While you video your grope,

Doesn't pay to go south for Daly Waters.

Thanks for the inspiration Bruin

[Bruin Fisher]

You're welcome, Des.

It was, after all, your post that inspired me!

[Cole Parker]

Oz news does titillate:

We learn that your magistrate

Expects those who masturbate

Be less than thirty-nine

I don?t like to whine

But it seems a bit fine

That I must draw the line

Once I pass thirty-eight

That leaves a grumbling great

Horde whom she may alienate

Insisting that they abnegate

This ritual with repine

This is surely a sign

That aged Aussies must resign

To a life quite benign

When middle age is their fate

[DesDownunder]

Nice poem Cole!

I suspect the magistrate needs to be reminded of the Australian primary judicial guide:

"Masturbate, don't castigate."

[Trab]

And, from the resident aspie perspective:

Magistrate Sue Oliver says the driving was bizarre to say the least and conduct she expects of someone much younger.

She actually EXPECTS this behaviour from younger drivers. Wow.

[DesDownunder]

The aspie perspective is outstanding, (as usual.)

Excellent Trab.

[Bruin Fisher]

Splendid poem, Cole! I love the form.

and

Razor-sharp observation, Trab!

This news report is just crying out for comment.