Did He Really Say That? - by Aaron - NWS

[blue]

friendly bump

See Also:

[*]What Do I Say? -- by Graeme

[*]Please Say Something! -- by Grasshopper

[*]Did He Really Say That? -- by Aaron

Hey, Aaron, great job. You are now officially a web-published author.

It was good to see a natural friendship progress to something even closer.

I noticed a couple of zingers in there and a reference to a very good story too.

Jump back, everyone, he'll be demanding his own comfy chair and gold-plated keyboard and one of those huge two-page LCD monitors any day now.

[Dewey]

Hey! I want mine too!

[blue]

Jump back, everyone, he'll be demanding his own comfy chair and gold-plated keyboard and one of those huge two-page LCD monitors any day now.

Hey! I want mine too!

Heheh, Bring on the comfy chair!

Yup, someone pass out those signup sheets. Tricked out workstations, heavy on the cool features, major bling-bling.

Hmm. Chaise lounge, surround sound home theater and stereo....

Budget? What Budget?

Yes, Jeeves, put the holographic imager right over there, by the Coke machine and the cloning tank. (No more overtime worries, just clone yourself. Then you and your clone can figure out who gets the paycheck and who gets the party... or the sack time... )

[Graeme]

Come on, guys!

This is Aaron's FIRST story, and you're already trying to hijack the thread.

I've already given my feedback to Aaron directly, but I will admit that I saw several iterations of the story before this final one. Each time, the story improved based on the feedback he'd been given, and that showed me more clearly than anything else how important it is to provide constructive criticism. Passages that I thought were fine became stronger still, based on the feedback from other reviewers.

So, well done, Aaron! I'm looking forward to seeing whatever you come up with next.

Graeme :D

[Dewey]

*hangs head in shame* Sorry for hijacking the thread...

I too saw the work in progress. Aaron did a great job of working with the feedback he received and then feeding me information for the next section, which should be ready by the end of the week.

Way to go, lil' bro! :mrgreen: :clap: :smt038 :smt041 :smt023

[movieguy]

Hey everyone , excuse Dewey on hijacking the thread, it happen more often at his forum, if you don't believe me ask Greame and Blue :-D

j/k

Aaron you been a great editor with Ryan Keith and Others and now with your first story a good writer

and i'm proud of you

:)

[Thirdeye]

Very good, really liked the story and fit in well with what I guess you would now call a series :-k

[aj]

I'd like to do the next story in the series...but not sure where to go with it. Was considering Will's dog as a pov, but my dog charges exorbitant fees for interpretation--ungrateful cur!

Then i considered making Aaron a schizophrenic and telling the tale from the pov of one of his delusions, sort of a stream of consciousness thing, ala James Joyce in "Finnegan's Wake," but then i'd have to provide a commentary for it to be understood, and that didn't seem like much fun.

I've just about settled on a hard sci-fi thing, told from the pov of the alien sociologists who have been observing the whole thing, but that's a little derivative, don't you think? Anyway...i'll keep working on it.

cheers!

aj

[Thirdeye]

I'd like to do the next story in the series...but not sure where to go with it. Was considering Will's dog as a pov, but my dog charges exorbitant fees for interpretation--ungrateful cur!

Then i considered making Aaron a schizophrenic and telling the tale from the pov of one of his delusions, sort of a stream of consciousness thing, ala James Joyce in "Finnegan's Wake," but then i'd have to provide a commentary for it to be understood, and that didn't seem like much fun.

I've just about settled on a hard sci-fi thing, told from the pov of the alien sociologists who have been observing the whole thing, but that's a little derivative, don't you think? Anyway...i'll keep working on it.

cheers!

aj

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL....BTW the last one is alittle to Simpons :D

[Dewey]

AJ,

I've already got the next one in the series written. Let me know if you really want to write the next one. I have a few suggestions.

[aj]

Yeah, i guess Matt Groening beat me to the punch. damn! guess i'll stick to my little tales about the faeries among us.

Thanks for answering, Dewey. I'm looking forward to the next tale in the series, but i have to admit, i'm not very good at writing in a pre-set environment...can't stop having the characters do weird things that don't work in the established world. Nevertheless, i appreciate the offer.

cheers!

aj

[JamesSavik]

I really enjoyed this story. It had a sweet, almost innocent quality and tone to it that caught me completely by surprise.

The dialect seemed so natural and non-forced that I assumed that the author was an Australian. I found myself thinking that I hoped the two protagonists might meet the kids from New Brother series so they would have some support.

I only discovered **after** reading it that Aaron was the "happy little squirt" of mailcrew fame.

If Aaron is that smooth an author at 16, then he's really going to be something as he grows up and gains more experience.

His use of the language I would describe as artistic, quite skilled and measured. The raw skill with words is belied by how even the tone and dialog is throughout the story. This is something that authors twice his age with 100X his published material will never get just right.

[blue]

Yes, there are quite a few younger authors well worth reading for those very reasons. That's been one of the nicest surprises of reading gay fic for me: Many of the authors are every bit as good as "professionally published" authors.

I think Aaron's going to be one of them. I'm looking forward to reading more from him.

I know Grasshopper is that talented.

BTW, I think EleCivil is there or headed that way.

RusticMonk's (Gabe's) poetry is there, and his prose is getting there.

Graeme may not fit the "younger author" category -- sorry, mate, but you're my age, after all -- but his writing on "What Do I Say?" inspired other authors to respond. That says something remarkable.

I'm a little biased, though, I'm one of Graeme's editors. Just mentioned in the interest of being up front about it.

[Graeme]

Actually, I think I might be a little older than you, Blue....

Don't forget Ryan (author of the Kayden and One Life stories) as another young author with a lot of promise.

Aaron has been editing for me for a few months now, so I'm glad to see that at least one person thinks I've corrupted him enough to allow him to pass as an Australian.... :-D

Graeme

[The Mail Crew]

This is Aaron of the crew. I want to thank Blue for starting this thead about my story and I thank everyone for your posts. James made my chest swell. :-)

Input from experienced - and patient - authors (Grasshopper, Graeme, Dewey and Drake) helped me polish the story. Even after we posted it at The Mail Crew I kept changing it, which meant we had to repost it several times. I got some grief from our crew for that. :twisted:

I learned during the writing process that although I knew in my mind the characters' thoughts and feelings, I at first was not revealing enough to the reader.

Writing from an Australian point of view was a challenge. I'm really pumped about James thinking the story was written by an Australian. I'm getting e-mails from others who ask if I do or have ever lived in Australia.

Another challenge was writing a story that has a character with my name. I'm actually more like the Will character and my partner Billy is more like the Aaron character, naughtiness included. In my frist drafts I reversed the names several times.

Thanks again for all of your very kind responses,

Aaron

[blue]

James made my chest swell.

LOL, that, dude, is a whole 'nother issue, although one that some of the GLBT community deal with.

/*

Digression from thread topic, but important:

All kidding aside, as a teen, that was a confusing issue for me, whether having gay feelings meant I was somehow less of a man or would act a certain way. The answer, for any teens who might be wondering: No, being gay or lesbian or whatever doesn't make you less of a man or a woman. If you have a higher or lower voice or different mannerisms, that also does *not* make you less of a man or woman. Furthermore, being GLBT doesn't mean you have to act any certain way. Just be yourself, lovable dufus that you are, whoever you are out there. Trust me, you'll still have friends and loved ones.

-- We now return you (more or less) to the thread topic already in progress... or regress.... or digress... yeah, something like that. :: shuffles feet nervously, kicks imaginary clod of dirt. ::

*/

About the name issue: Yeah, reading "Life From a Distance: Ben" is slightly spooky for me in that respect. Good story, but intense.

[JamesSavik]

Another challenge was writing a story that has a character with my name. I'm actually more like the Will character and my partner Billy is more like the Aaron character, naughtiness included. In my frist drafts I reversed the names several times.

That's a good topic I'm going to address. I'm having similar issues. Look for a new thread.

Thanks again for all of your very kind responses,

Aaron

A man is never taller than when he encourages a kid.

[EleCivil]

Aaron-

I just got around to reading it - great job! If/when you write something else, I'll be sure to read it.

[Rutabaga]

Bumping this thread because this story is a "Pick from the Past" right now.

All four stories in the "Tetralogy" are worthwhile. I stumbled upon them quite by accident a couple of years ago.

R

[Rutabaga]

And here I am, bumping this thread again eight years later because the tetralogy is a Pick from the Past again.     

You can start here but I'm not sure the order of reading the four stories is critical.  What's fascinating is the Rashomon-like presentation of four different points of view concerning the same underlying events.  I like this method better than having points of view switch around willy-nilly in the middle of a single story . . . I have never thought much of that approach.  I can better live with chaptered stories where new chapters start out with new points of view.  "The Sound and the Fury" by William Faulkner was my first major exposure to this technique, and it was done quietly, rather than with the blatant labeling of "Josh's POV" or the like that we find at that site that rhymes with Thrifty.

I'm not sure any of the collaborators on this tetralogy are still around.  The early 2000s were clearly a fecund time at AwesomeDude.  At least we still have the legacy . . .

R  

[Alien Son]

7 hours ago, Rutabaga said:

I'm not sure any of the collaborators on this tetralogy are still around.  The early 2000s were clearly a fecund time at AwesomeDude.  At least we still have the legacy . . .

R  

Graeme posted a message in the forums when Mike passed away. I lost touch with Aaron when The Mail Crew site went offline. Dewey's site also seems to have gone offline. I haven't heard anything of Grasshopper for many years now.

We have a wonderful legacy from the early years of AwesomeDude.

~ John