JamesSavik Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 Rats Racing Fat cats, mall rats, old bats in expensive hats, Kids in cars, jocks in bars, wanna be movie stars, Dead heads, red heads, hot lovin newly weds, Old men, young skin, trying out a brand new sin, Cops in cars, sushi bars, hippies with old guitars, Chinese, Japanese, anime sluts on their knees, Avenue, Revenue, a river place with a view, Young punks, old drunks, opportunistic political skunks, Stylish hills, favorite pills, summer time standing still, Alley cats, spoiled brats, the morbidly fat, Network news, nightly blues, trailer trash in Italian shoes, Big wheels, fast deals, corporate licenses to steal, Bright lights, urban blight, sneaker inspired fire fights, Liquor stores, cheap whores, serial killers keeping score, Money madness, chemical gladness, suicidal sadness, Fast thrills, utility bills, toxic chemical spills, Crack dealers, soul stealers, carnival fire-eaters, Garbage men in Pierre Cardin dancing in the winter wind, Acid dreams, obscure scenes, cars passing in between, Rebellious fire, hot desire, the world at the end of a wire, Insane dreams, dying scenes, traffics timeless screams, Compassion, out of fashion, feelings in traction, Depression, recession, endless mindnumbing concessions, Out of breath, wish for death, lose yourself in regret No time to catch your wind, before it starts all over again. True or false, fact or fiction, insane contradictions, Run the race, keep the pace or fall flat upon your face, Frantic action, dissatisfaction, reflection and reaction, Lose to win and win to lose, No one gets to choose. Quote Link to comment
Graeme Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 Loose to win and win to loose, Should this be "lose" instead of "loose"? Quote Link to comment
JamesSavik Posted February 10, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 yup- you're right you diabolical green spelling monkey :-D Fixed it. Quote Link to comment
Codey Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 You really nailed the rat race....not looking forward to joining it...Codey Quote Link to comment
Graeme Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 yup- you're right you diabolical green spelling monkey :-D Well I have to occassionally show that I'm reading this stuff. Seriously, it was very well done. You really nailed the rat race....not looking forward to joining it...Codey The key is in finding the time to quit the race, even if only for a short while. That's why I live out in the country, while I work in the city. When I get home, the mobile phone goes off, and I can forget about the rat race (most of the time). Graeme Quote Link to comment
Guest rusticmonk86 Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 It's great. I love the throw-back to the old-style spitfire rhymes. Quote Link to comment
blue Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 Blue editing monkey says there's the same problem with: Out of breath, wish for death, loose yourself in regret /loohss/ -- not tight loose, looses, loosing, loosed; looser, loosest; /loohzz/ -- not to win lose, loses, losing, lost; lost; loser; However, the poem is a winner. Really liked it. Quote Link to comment
JamesSavik Posted February 10, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 Blue editing monkey says there's the same problem with:Out of breath, wish for death, loose yourself in regret However, the poem is a winner. Really liked it. Problem fixed. I need an editor. Thanks guys. There's some things spelling checkers just make worse. Quote Link to comment
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